When Losing an Hour is a Good Thing

Daylight Saving Time has crept up on us once again.  I think Ben Franklin had something to do with the idea, though it’s probably not wise to blindly follow the mad ravings of a guy who once flew a kite in a lightning storm with the sole purpose of volunteering to get electrocuted. But what do I know?

Overall, the time change doesn’t bother me much. Of course, I’ve lost an hour of precious sleep, now I’m eating my breakfast for lunch and my kids will be up tonight until midnight. Other than that, it’s a good thing. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all have this magical power to fast forward time whenever we really needed to?

Other instances when losing an hour of time might be a good thing:

–When you’re two hours into a 12 hour road trip trapped in a tiny Volkswagen with your brothers and a dead a/c after consuming an all-you-can-eat Mexican food buffet.

–When the dentist informs you he’s ready to cut into your jaw bone now and there may be some pressure and lots of smoke.

–When you’re cornered at a family reunion by Aunt Martha who proceeds to discuss in detail every major and minor medical procedure she’s endured in the last 30 years. And she acts them out using graphic hand gestures.

–When you’re stuck in a gigantic line at Walmart and your tired, cranky five year old bursts into a rousing rendition of, “Everybody poops!” at the top of her lungs.

–When your son sits down on the couch next to you and says, “Hey, Mom! I can count to 5,ooo now! Wanna see? 1…2….3…”

–When you’re laying on your side, half naked and exposed in a johnny, and the doctor holds up the 50 foot tube he’ll use to perform your colonoscopy, complete with a tiny camera so you can be sure to see every last detail on the giant HDTV screen parked at your head.

–When you’re in the front row of a pop concert with your daughter, surrounded by screaming rabid tweens and the Jonas Brothers return to the stage to perform their 15th encore featuring the cover of, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

–When you’re in the throes of excrutiatingly hard labor, the baby is stuck, your spine is splitting in half and the doctor suddenly informs you he’s going to “completely turn off the epidural” to “prepare you for the OR”.

–When you’re finally finishing up your mammogram and the technician comes back into the room and tells you the xrays were too blurry so you have to repeat the procedure all over again.

–When you sit down to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner and before the first forkful of turkey, your father-in-law announces, “Obama should go to hell!” to your Democrat mother.

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101 comments

    1. I think they do, you’re right. My daughter is just going with the crowd. Remember that cute little song from Sesame Street, ‘Everybody Sleeps’? I made the mistake of singing ‘Everybody Poops’ to Julia when she was potting training and now she busts it out at the worst moments.

      1. That’s hilarious. You need to put this one in your file of stories with blackmail potential. After all, she’ll some day be a teenager and you will need all the ammunition you can get.

      2. Oh, you’ve got that right. I’ve got loads of ammunition already and she’s only five years old. What’s great is I also have tons of videos of her singing and dancing to this song.

  1. These are great and I can relate to all of them. My father-in-law used to tell Catholic jokes much to my mother’s chagrin. I don’t think breast feeding is what made my boobs sag as much as the horribly painful and flattening mammogram. I have procrastinated my colonoscopy, but do remember the spine splitting pain of childbirth…
    Wonderful ways; If only we could use it like that!

    1. My in-laws and my mother are complete opposites in politics. My husband and I have learned to just sit there silently, knock back a few more drinks then excuse ourselves so we can hide outside until the debate blows over.

      I had my first mammogram last year. My husband asked, “How did it go?” and I said, “How did it go? How does boob pancake strike ya?”

      1. Boob pancake is right! I only go every other year now…
        I hope you don’t all live in the same town..Sunday dinners could be quite entertaining!

      2. We live in towns right next to each other. What’s great is now I’ve learned that whenever politics come up, I just stand up and yell out “I’m pregnant!” and that is usually enough to change the subject right away.

  2. Well, D-Woww, since I’ve lost an hour, I’ve already commented on this all-too-funny post. But since you missed my comment, here it goes:

    All of your situations are ones I would definitely want to lose an hour to avoid!! I especially remember how painful it was when my epidural wore off. hehe

    Seriously, I would hate to lose an hour, because then I might miss an “episode” of She’s a Maineiac, and that truly would be terrible.

    Au Revoir, D-Woww!
    Sorry, my french (all 10 words of it) slipped out. Until next time!

    1. I know, losing an hour today was particularly hard because it meant one less hour of commenting on everyone’s blogs and god knows I don’t do that enough as it is.

      And yeah…the epidural thing was downright cruel. I went from zero to superbitch in 30 seconds. I’m glad you could relate, MJ.

    1. All of them. Well, I’ve never been to a Jonas Brothers concert but I’m guessing that’s in my future.

      Also, I’ve never had a colonoscopy, but thank god my Aunt Martha did and was able to act it out for me at the last reunion.

      1. well, I will confess- I’ve been to a Justin Bieber concert with my daughter, it was actually kind of fun. AND I’ve had a colonoscopy and you are sedated, so it was just a nap to me. You don’t WANT to be awake for it, I know that!

      2. Hmmm…you say it’s not so bad. But I’m still having a hard time letting go of the fact that you mentioned both Justin and a colonoscopy in the same sentence. It’s too much of an overload for me. But I’m sure you’re right. Can I be sedated at the Justin Bieber concert?

  3. I posted a “I Hate The Clock Change Waa-Waa” thing, and then immediately saw your more positive, and better written, post. Now I hate clock change day even more.

    Goin’ back to bed. Hold my calls.

  4. I’m sitting in my office, reading your excellent post, on a Sunday morning. I’m not usually here at this time, and here’s how it happened. I bounded out of bed early this morning and decided to go to 8 am mass. I showed up at church and it was locked. I’m rattling the doors and hollering at the top of my lungs, “Let me in! I need churchin’!” when it suddenly occured to me that that whole “spring forward” business took place last night.

    I always smirk about those idiots who forget the time change. I have seen that idiot, and she is me.

    Hope you only lost all the lousy hours you listed, and not any fun hours.

    1. That is such a shame, Pegolegcassini. I could use some extra churchin’ myself today. This time change thing has already been a joy.

      We got up super late, I ate my cheerios at noon. We had to run some errands with the kids. Picked up pizza for our lunch at 3 pm. We kept feeling like we weren’t keeping up with time so we ran around all discombobulated (oh how I love that word).

      In our rush, we hopped out of our car in the garage when we got home, took out the pizzas (and the kids) and slammed the doors shut, locking them, only to look back inside and see my husband’s set of car keys still sitting on top of the dashboard and my purse with the other set of keys sitting on the floor. After procuring one pathetic key-grabber with an old wire hanger, we attempted to scoop the keys off the dash only to fail over and over again. I felt like the Brady Bunch when they were trapped in that jail cell in the Grand Canyon and couldn’t reach the keys on the hook. Finally after HOURS my husband caved and called AAA. I LOVE daylight saving time!

      1. I’m not sure which is funnier — the post, or this comment! I remember that Brady Bunch episode. :) I also like how your day shifted only one hour, but your activities shifted by two hours or more. That’s talent. So is using a wire hanger, MacGyver.

      2. Why, thank you, Melissa. I am happy I’m impressed you. First, we had to find a wire hanger. That took about an hour. We finally went next door to my mom’s and, shocker, she had one. I’m just praying today is a better day. (but I’m still feeling super tired from the time change)

      3. Wow – you packed an awful lot of living in one, little extra hour. Good for you for using that good, old-fashioned American know-how to…well, to ATTEMPT to get in the car. You don’t have any wire coat hangers in your house, Mommy Dearest?

        Excellent word choice wtih discombobulated. Makes me happy just to say it…discombobulated, discombobulated, discombobulated!

    1. No, I haven’t seen Click. Sounds like it’d be funny. Adam Sandler is someone I can only handle in small doses. My husband bought the movie Grown Ups last year and after the billionth time of watching it, I think I’m all Sandlered out at the moment.

    1. No limits. Your mother calls you up to give you details on Dr. Oz’s upcoming show on the female reproductive system? Fast forward! Your neighbor suddenly asks you to watch her twin sons for three hours and they arrive already hyped up on soda and Skittles? Fast forward! See, this power is phenomenal. I could use it all the time.

  5. I’m assuming this list is totally hypothetical, no? ;)

    After years of flip-flopping when asked the question “What super power would you like to have if you could?”, I now know without a doubt that my answer is “Daylight Savings Time Changes At Will”. Forget invisibility or the ability to fly– I want to spring forward or fall back whenever it suits me! Thank you for finally putting this debate to rest in my heart.

    1. This list is mostly true, Dana. I know. Dont be jealous. I am living the high life. You and your husband are out gallivanting around with seals and watching amazing sunrises at a lighthouse while I’m stuck getting mammograms.

  6. Hi,
    I’m assuming there will be a few confused people around at the end of daylight saving. :D
    I loved your list that was a great read, nothing like a laugh to start off the day. :)

    1. Or maybe even two or three free hours would help me in my life. If I could fast forward an entire day? Now that would be a superpower worth having. Especially today, because it’s Monday.

  7. you all changed already?! we do ours in two weeks. Back in my stoner youth that would have kept me busy for ages wondering if over time that meant you got like 2 extra years of life more than us. Hey, and it must be like afternoon there for you and our day is almost over, so you have like a whole afternoon extra…it’s freaking me out man.

    1. They recently changed when Daylight Saving Time begins for us, Joe. They pushed it back even further. It’s really just stupid, the whole concept.

      And when you say ‘back in my stoner youth’ how far back are we talkin’? Your line ‘it’s freaking me out man’ reminded me of the movie Dazed and Confused. “yeahhhhhh….man!”

      1. That’s what I had in mind :-D Oh, and that was about 18-20 years ago when I was at college, I was never that good with it, I would mainly fall asleep

  8. Thank goodness the ony thing I missed was an hour of my husband’s boozy snoring…Needless to say I am Madame CrankyPants today – and I will miss an hour of my bitching time, as well. I would fast forward my commute every day – except that somedays I get to work and I remember absolutely nothing about the drive there. Scary.

    1. Well, at least the boozy snoring and bitching time cancel each other out, so you’re even. I have to drive my kids around all morning and I know I won’t remember a second of the drive. I don’t even remember what I’m doing when I’m responding to comments on my blog today. It’s all a blur, really. Very scary. It will take about six months for my brain to catch up and then we’ll change the clocks back again. How are you feeling by the way? You look good, much better than last time I saw you.

      1. I am feeling much better, going back to work after a week of spring break. I have had houseguests for 2 weeks straight (well even longer if you count the armadillo). I am tired of smiling and being polite. I want to sit around in my underwear, swear out loud, and fart whenever I feel like it, eat microwave popcorn for dinner, and have the television turned off (kids shows are nothing but screaming anymore, and my sis has a hearing loss so the volume is WAYYYYYYYY up). Other than that, I’m doing great.

      2. So I take it Andy was the only highlight of your week? At least he doesn’t talk much. For a split second I really thought that nurse had placed him on top of some poor old man.

        And sitting around in your underwear, eating popcorn, swearing and farting….you and my husband would get along famously. (OK, truth be told, you and I would get along well, too)

      3. Well, Andy was a real treat to have around – I kind of miss him. As houseguests go, he was the easiest to deal with. The mannequins at my work really creep people out – they do look dead…so when I make them talk it is really, really spooky. I think they get up after I leave at night, though, and party all night long.

      4. And all those glamorous things you think you’ll do when your kids are grown and gone – forget it. You’ll sit around in your underwear, eat microwave popcorn (and Klondike bars) for dinner, swear right out loud and such.

      5. You know, when updates appear in the “comments I’ve made” page, they don’t show all of them, just your own and the latest. When Katy’s comment showed up, all by itself, about her having underwear for dinner, I was shocked and appalled. And intrigued. So I scooted on over here.

        She’s right about the microwave popcorn, the frozen treats (fudgecicles, here) and swearing in the empty nest, but we at least wear sweats in our house. I guess they roll differently in Florida.

      6. yeah, up here in the frozen tundra–I wear yoga pants (but oddly enough, I don’t actually do any yoga in them) But what is it with my husband? The nanosecond he gets home, he’s stripped down to his underwear. My son does this too. We’ll walk inside from the garage and Bam, it’s Tighty Whitey City. Then they eat bags of chips while watching Storage Wars. If I did that, I’d be afraid I’d be scarring my kids for life, so I stick with the yoga pants and a ratty t-shirt.

      7. Yes, Peg….Roll would be the operative word here!! My underwear resembles something from the 1800′s – long, modest, etc. We really don’t sit around in our underwear (yet) but I can envision the day when even slapping on sweats will be too much effort or, more likely, we won’t remember that we are supposed to put on clothes.

  9. I decided not to set my clocks back last October so that I wouldn’t always be late to things. So today was just like any other day except I was late to things.

    1. Patti, I am still feeling the lack of sleep thing this morning. It’s almost 8:30 and I’m still not hungry enough for breakfast. So my sleep and meals are all screwed up. I doubt this is what Ben Franklin envisioned. Or maybe he did.

  10. half naked and exposed in a johnny – I can only speculate on what his means. Seeing as how my imagination has run wild now, please don’t tell me what it actually means.

  11. You’ve been preparing for your son’s upcoming bar mitzvah — printing addreses on envelopes, putting together all the inserts, adding postage, and sealing the aforementioned invitations — when your husband comes in the room to tell you that you are doing it wrong. That there is a more efficient way of doing it. That he can show me a better way.

    Yeah, the day should have ended five minutes before that.

  12. hahahaha Once again you crack me up! I love the graphic hand gestures and the never-ending Jonas Brothers concert. LOL!

    I am ALL for losing the hour of sleep, because I LOVE having it stay light out later. (Especially when I’m commuting to work and leave in the dark and come home in the dark…depressing!)

    1. I have to admit, it was pretty cool to look outside and still see the sun at 6:30 last night. And this extra sunshine will make it easier for me to yell, “Hey kids! Why don’t you both go outside and play in the backyard?!” So I guess this DST thing is okay after all.

    1. I’m afraid if I had that power, Susan, I’d be using it all the time. Not a good idea if I’m already complaining life is moving too fast! Easter is coming up and I know I just celebrated that last week, didn’t I?

  13. Loved the post. I don’t have any issue with losing the boys hour only if I remember to set my alarm clock ahead at the same time ;) My house was struck with oozing diseases this past week and weekend and when I lay my still foggy groggy head to rest on Sunday night I forgot to change my clock for work the next day. Waking up at 6am was I rough but finding out that it was really 7 and i was late for work was even worse..

    1. I can imagine. Not a good way to start a Monday. I’m already used to the time change. Mainly because I am deathly sick again with another horrible cold so I’m sleeping like a log, hyped up on meds! Hope your family is feeling better this week.

      1. No, the one for this post that says Deautsch and some other foreign words. I like the new blog header – very serene and tranquil! Just like daily life for you, hmmm?

      2. Aha. Yeah. That was a clock. Nothing too spectacular so you didn’t miss anything Deaustch-ish. whatever that means…

        And why yes, I am very serene today. I’m very sick again and barely breathing so the Sudafed and Benadryl are keeping things happy and fuzzy–just the way I like them thankyouverymuch.

  14. This is a classic. But aren’t you too young for a colonoscopy? Unfortunately, as the daughter of a cancer survivor, I signed up for my first at 38. Read link below if you’d like affirmation that a colonoscopy really IS one of those times when an hour LESS would be GREAT. I did it cold turkey, and when I’m not trying to be dramatic, I have to admit it was really that bad!!
    http://walkingpapers.wordpress.com/2011/05/20/the-cold-turkey-colonoscopy/
    Thanks for the laugh today.
    Suzanne

    1. I am almost 42, so I know it’s only a matter of 8 years for me. My husband has had one, back in his 20s before I knew him. He doesn’t like to talk about it much. I am amazed you did yours cold turkey. I will check out the link. You are a brave woman!

  15. The colonoscopy itself is a non-event, because they dose you with that micheal jackson drug and you are O-U-T. It’s the lead-up to it – the, uh…cleanse part. Stay near the hopper and drink chicken broth and apple juice all day. Your ass becomes a human volcano :) that’s all.

    These are all good ideas for tossing an unwanted hour into a time-eating vortex. I personally just try to sleep through every unpleasantry in life. fail.

    1. A human volcano? that’s all? Psssbt. No problem. Sounds like a blast! (reminds me of the movie Bridesmaids, but that was quite hilarious)

      I also think sleep is my number one option of choice in life when faced with things I don’t want to do. It really helps take the edge off things when you’re not awake.

      1. I saw Bridesmaids with friends, but we mostly talked and drank wine through it, such that I missed like… well, most of it. But what I saw was very funny.

  16. I went to Dallas for a few days over spring break…looks like I really missed something. Just now getting caught up on my reading. Good thing we left on Sunday morning but we got there so late…everyone does Houston-Dallas in 4 fours but I did it in 5 1/2…oh yes, had to stop a few times to show Andy around. o yeah…armadillo site seeing to back at work…it’s been a real blur this week.

    1. Oh, so you’re hosting Andy this week! How exciting. I’m sure he’s having a grand ol’ time. I’ve always wanted to visit Texas, I’ve heard only great things about that state. Maybe Lenore can scrape up enough money to send me around the world instead?

  17. Okay, so I want to know how many of these were true stories (versus hypothetical)? This isn’t another one of those friends who has the ex-boyfriend living in his mother’s cellar with 23 cats stories, is it?

    Having just completed a 12-hour car trip with two kids yesterday, I’d need more than just a one hour time loss to see any significant psychological improvements of my current mental state.

    Lastly, please tell me mammograms are “just a lot of pressure” as a doctor once informed me. Otherwise you’ve just given me another reason not to want to turn 40.

  18. The only two that haven’t actually happened to me are the Jonas Brothers concert and the colonoscopy. Oddly enough, those are two things that have SO much in common.

    Oh yeah–that mammogram was just a lot of pressure. It seriously wasn’t as bad as I make it out to be. I think I took Advil beforehand. But it was just very, very uncomfortable, not painful. Still, not something I look forward to doing every few years.

    Ugh, two kids in a car for 12 hours. Yikes. But you made it back. I did that last a few years ago…two little kids in a car for the 18 hour drive to Detroit, then another 18 hours back. I think that was the trip that finally prompted the rest of my brain cells to self-destruct.

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