People seem to be a tad upset about the recent NFL replacement referee debacles that unfolded over the past week. Apparently, there is big money at stake. So when things go wrong, people get mad if strange things happen—-teams are winning that should have no business winning, Bill Belichick is getting too touchy-feely with the guy from Foot Locker. It’s all a big mess.
I’m certainly no expert on NFL rules and regulations, but I can safely say I think the main mistake here was assuming the term ‘job’ didn’t mean silly things like having skills or experience or knowing what the hell you’re doing at any given time. Maybe the NFL should have screened these replacement referees a little more. While watching the game yesterday, I could have sworn one of the officials was my old junior high school gym teacher, Mr. Cormier.
It’s kind of like being wheeled into the operating room to find the nurses have all been temporarily replaced by the Blue Man Group. Someone is gonna get hurt.
Have no fear. I can help you, NFL.
I can be a referee.
I’ve got experience.
So you can clearly see I am more than qualified for this position. Thank you for your consideration. And may the best or worst team win! Yeah!!! GO PATS!!!
This is SO FUNNY! I watched the end of the Packer game last night and the Seahawks won with a touchdown, but it should have been ruled an interception by the Packers. The worst call ever. I even tweeted my frustration!
This should be Freshly Pressed Darla!
I didn’t even see the game, but I certainly heard about it all over the news this morning, it was top news even. And thanks about FP, why not show the WP world I can rock cleats and make horrible calls?
Ha! Can I be the side judge? I’d be great at it!!! Amen to FP’g this!! Awesome-funny!
Together, we could save the NFL, El. Starting with more pb cups for everyone!
LOL!!!!
Ha ha ha Oh my kindred spirit, you have clearly embraced the photo-editing-over-studying mentality that I know so well.
I tease, I tease, but I never want you to stop. This is hilarious! “The shiny bolts of electricity team” is going to have me laughing all day – thank you!
P.S. – Can you please write my next post for me?
“photo-editing-over-studying-mentality” bwa ha ha ha!
I think making this post today was much more important than my educational future. And I JUST told you yesterday I have zero post ideas, didn’t I? and then I was on the elliptical today at 7 am and bam–stupid post idea! yeah!
The ‘shiny bolts of electricity’ was not an act, I really couldn’t remember what team that was…
Haha! Oh this is awesome!! Honestly you might do a better job with the calls plus you’d be WAY more fun than the replacement refs, or even the regular ones for that matter.
Yeah! I agree. Can’t go wrong with free chocolate and bad disco dancing.
Haha!
I think you make a great, plaid-wearing referee. 
The green really brings out the color of my eyes.
love it!
Teehee–thanks!
If they want to appeal to the British market, this will work, the sport is otherwise incomprehensible to us
It’s pretty incomprehensible to us over here, too. Okay, well, maybe it’s just me.
Funny! I just imagined you as a Super Bowl referee calling time out to declare Eli Manning gorgeous!
And who could resist doing that? It would make the Super Bowl interesting for a change.
Lol! I’ve been in the USA for 5 years now, and I still know very little about American sports—It’s just that the Super Bowl hoopla is hard to miss.
Oh, it’s nothing but hoopla. I can’t remember the last time I found the Super Bowl to be super.
ha haha ha! I never knew you had such mad football skills to go with your total mastery of the paint program. I noticed in one picture your hair is noticeably redder than in others …a little Miss Clairol going on here, Darlinkidinkidoo?
Ha! Only you, the Queen of Paint would notice. So I wanted to try out a new shade to impress Tom Brady. Can ya blame me? It’s Chili Powder #24
also…I must have hit the wrong button on the paintinator hoozeethingy when I painted it….
I concur with this on so many levels but mostly, GO PATS!!
And I totally agree with your statement. If the refs don’t come back to work, they might need even more cheering.
I heartily support your campaign for replacement judge. In all games except any Pats v. Ravens games. I think you might be a tad bit biased (see Exhibit A above, namely “GO PATS”). But I am all for a Reese’s break and admiration of the gorgeousness of the QBs. Let’s make this happen.
Ravens?! Don’t you mean the ‘little black birdies’ team?
I don’t even watch football (unless the Pats are in the Superbowl), and you had me and my son rolling with laughter. Thanks for helping us start out the day with a smile.
Oh, so cute that your son thought this was funny. I showed this post to my husband and he was laughing so hard he was crying. I knew then this might be a good blog post to publish.
Black and white stripes is a good look for you. Very slimming.
That is the only reason I wear them. Just have to figure out how to coordinate my glaring green plaid with the overall look.
Hey Darla, I think you’ve missed your true calling! Can’t wait to see you out there on the field — you’ll be great. Seriously though, you made me laugh with the “shiny thunderbolts and horsey” team names! And yeah — Go Pats!
Good to see you around again! Hope you stick around and blog some more…that’s only if you can actually get a few free moments to yourself…
I have wised up and now realize those moments do not exist.
But yes, I’m going to stick around and blog awhile. Cram it in between helping my kids in the potty (does that ever end?) and doing the dishes. On second hand, the dishes can wait.
The potty thing certainly FEELS like it’s never going to end. But it does. Glory hallelujah..it does!! The finest day of my life was the day I didn’t have to change another diaper. This was just last year when I stopped babysitting an infant for a friend. I’ve been changing diapers for over 10 years straight now. Gah!!
Good stuff!! Not sure about that first photo though, you need to be careful with that Line Judge, the guy with the L on his back. His head is awfully close to your chest, in fact it appears that your hair is even hanging over the back of his hat. That’s all we need is more bad calls because the male referees are making moves on the female referee.
yeah. what is UP with that guy? Getting a bit too close like that. You’d think my giant bobble-head would have scared him away but no…
OMG, Darla, this is HILARIOUS–and I don’t even like or watch football! Well done, my friend.
Hugs,
Kathy
Well, I have done my job then, getting you to read about football. I actually love everything about the game. I had to watch it growing up with my brothers.
I would watch–heck even play–football if I knew Reese cups were involved.
Exactly my point. Why not try to bring in more of a female audience?
I’m convinced it is a conspiracy by the referee union meant to indicate their importance to NFL. They should hire you instead. We will all watch and cheer madly.
I think you are right, Renee. You know the ‘real’ refs are sitting around drinking beers, smoking cigars and laughing their asses off right now. They’ll get their money soon I’m sure.
Ya know, if more of the refs looked like you, I might actually start watching football again!
And I realise that the bad call REALLY hurt the Green Bay Packers, and that ALL football fans should band together and support them in light of the horrific travesty that the rent-a-ref committed. So, from the bottom of my Chicago heart, I reach across the state line to the boys from Green Bay and say ……
“Neener neener nee-ner! LOOOOOOO-SERS!”.
(Click) I’m sorry, the blogger you are trying to reach has left the country, and will shortly be leaving the planet. Please leave your name, number, and obscene message after the tone. BEEP!
haha! Yeah, I’m not sure, but I think I read the Packers were playing horribly before this bad call went down anyway…so maybe they deserved to lose after all. (My dad used to be a huge Packers fan and I liked Brett Favre once upon a time…)
Loved it, Darliciousness!
How go the classes?
Must start exercising so I, too, can get brilliant post ideas.
So much funk, what’s a girl to do but laugh and enjoy.
Hey, it’s Tar! yay!! Classes are killing me slowly, thanks for asking. Doing well but can’t wait until the semester’s over.
The only reason I exercise is to get blog ideas.
I forgot to mention that I am also a BIG football fan. Started when I went to college in the UP – everyone up there follows the Green Bay Packers so that’s the first team I really followed. Next, I lived in Chicago so I was a big Bears fan. Now that I’ve been back in MI for some years, a group of us get together for the Lions games – eat, drink and be merry as we cheer for their hopeful win. They were also screwed last Sunday with the fake refs. You’d rock the football world if they employed you!
Lions? Oh, man. My dad also followed them religiously and was used to the severe disappointment year after year.
Maybe you could end Sunday and Monday football as we know it!
what–? Noooo!!
Once upon a time, before kids and husband, I used to watch every single game. Three on Sunday, one on Monday night. I knew every team, every player, every coach. I played in my dad’s football pool at work and would win every week. But now? yeah, I don’t watch it at all anymore. Eh.
Oh, I meant the comment as a good thing…
Ahh I loved this so much!! You’re clearly every bit the non-football fan that I am. Phew….I’m not the only one.
Glad you liked it, Carly. But nope, I love it. I do. I’m not even kidding you. My husband hates it though. He’s a hockey fan, big time (Red Wings)
Go Wings!!
I loved this, DJ. Clearly you are destined for greatness as a referee. My husband told me today that one of the replacement refs had been fired from the “Lingerie League”. How badly must one suck to be fired from a league where women play football in their underwear? And who actually watches the ball? I mean, come on…….
Haha! yeah, I saw that too. Now there is a sport truly designed by a man. How about Chippendale Hockey? Huh? A bunch of men skating around wearing nothing but bow ties and cuff links? Why can’t that happen?
Well, that would probably be less of a show than you might think. In “Seinfeld” terms, the word is “shrinkage” After all, it’s COLD out on that ice! (And I’m not taking into account the burly guys on the other team swinging hockey sticks! YEE-OUCH!
)
Ha! Yeah, I forgot to take the ‘shrinkage’ factor into consideration here…hmm…
This is so funny! I love basketball. And you are the prettiest umpire in the whole NHL.
Aw! Why thank you! Even with the man-hands??
Free peanut butter cups for everyone?! You’re hired! (Said in my best Trump voice.)
(At least the chocolaty-peanutty goodness will distract me from my frustration with all the bad calls.)
Oh, so you like football too? I try to eat my chocolate while watching the game and that helps a lot.
Long before I was ever allowed to attend my first high school football game my mother insisted I understand the rules. Been watching ever since–now with pb cups!
I know most of the rules, too, thanks to my brothers. Well, I’m not sure anyone alive knows EVERY single rule…I swear half the time, they’re just making them up as they go along.
Oh good Lord, I loved this! You are really producing some of your best work these days, DarDar — what the hell are you smoking over on the college campus these days? And (psssst) where’d you get it?
I laughed out loud. OUT LOUD. Me. I did. At the “shiny bolts of electricity team…” and the “Weeee!” parts.
You complete me.
Now I’m wondering exactly what kind of mushrooms were on that pizza out there in the dorm lounge…
And knowing you actually laughed out loud? I can die happy now. Getting the Angie stamp of approval is as good as FP. Better even.
Good stuff, Darla — your refereeing technique certainly isn’t any worse than what we’ve seen from these guys, and way more interesting!
Who wouldn’t want me as a ref? they’d be crazy. Football would be the best-loved sport in the world. How you holding up with the FP?? Comments crushing you down yet??
Seriously—it would easily overtake soccer. The FP comments are plentiful but so far I’m hanging in there!
Yeah! Good to know you’re still alive after the onslaught. Very well deserved, by the way. I absolutely loved that post.
Could you please, please advise my husband on Fantasy Football!? He seriously needs help.
haha! I wish I could help him but I am afraid all I know about football these days is Tom Brady is cute.
I hate football, but I’ll always read a blog post about it if you write it, Darla. You are absolutely the cutest thing – seriously – And these photos cheered me up immensely! Love the bubble text!
Oh, thanks, Jean! I’m cute even with the hairy forearms and man-hands? It was certainly a fun post for me to do, not much boring writing, lots of stupid photos. Win-win!
I’ve just never gotten in to watching football. Maybe it’s living in a state with no pro team, or living in a state with such a ridiculously over-the-top college rivalry that I can’t help but not want to get involved… But if you were a ref that might help me turn the corner.
Oh yeah, that’s right, you guys have..what…the Seahawks? God, I’m so so sorry. Oregon really needs to finally get their own team. The Oregon Geoducks? The Portland Banana Slugs? (I remember those in my Evergreen days….)
So…are you changing majors to becoming a football ref instead? I’m sensing the studying won’t be as challenging, and your skills a mad mama jama will certainly come in handy (“I can’t hear you, la la la la la…..”).
I’m thankful that I no longer have time in my life to follow NFL football. That would have been maddening if I was.
Ooh, how I love the phrase ‘mad mama jama’ I might have to use that as my new blog tagline. And it is amazing how many skills I can bring to being a ref since I am a mom–especially the ability to ignore crying, tantrummy-whining men. Nothing can crack me.
I would actually watch a football game if you refereed it. Otherwise, I fall asleep at halftime.
And my halftime show would be the absolute shizz. I’d be pulling out all the stops…sparklers, pom poms…cannons that shoot peanut butter cups…
That first picture nearly killed me. I can’t look at it without laughing.
It’s my giant bobble head, isn’t it?
It all means zilch to me, but I think it’s really cool the way your head is bigger than all their heads.
That was my favorite thing about this post, too.