Once upon a time I was a seven year old rocking plaid outfits and bad haircuts.
Then I grew up to be an 11 year old rocking plaid outfits and bad haircuts.
Today not only do I still rock plaid and bad haircuts, I’m a world-renowned blogger, (according to my WordPress stats anyway) I’ve also dabbled in movies as a stand-in for some rather bratty Hollywood stars. Read about it here in My Secret Movie Star Life. Maybe you recognize some of these iconic gems?
I lied. I was never a stand-in for any blockbuster movie. Although as you can see by that gorgeous mug of mine, I should have been.
So if you’d like to stick around anyway, my name is Darla and this is my blog. And my therapy. Enjoy!
My Life in a quick blurb, for all you short-attention-span people out there:
I love humor, my family, anything plaid and large amounts of hot coffee. In that order. (sorry, family) I live here in this frozen tundra full of fleece-covered cranky people with my husband and our two kids. I like to sleep. I like to eat chocolate. I love to blog. I hate politics. I hate writing blurbs about myself. Read on if you need to know more…
[View from my backyard]
15 Things About Me That You Might Regret Knowing After You Read This:
- I am allergic to every group of antibiotics out there. My doctor tells me I am down to one rarely prescribed antibiotic that I can safely take, so if I contract pneumonia and you don’t hear from me, it’s probably because I’m dead.
- I love football. I grew up with five brothers so it was mandatory. Before kids, I would sit there and watch it all day long, flipping between two games at a time. I used to know every single player, coach on every team. My husband hates football. God has a great sense of humor.
- I do celebrity impressions. Back in high school, I was the hit of any party. My favorites: Katherine Hepburn, Rosie Perez, Jimmy Stewart, Cartman from South Park. I can do basically anyone if I study their voice enough. My teachers didn’t appreciate my talent much.
- I am deathly afraid of spiders, any size. Also afraid of killing them. I have been known to trap one under a cup and leave the cup on the floor until someone else comes along and is brave enough to scoop it up. Once I held my breath and picked up the cup only to find no spider. Finding no spider is almost as panic-inducing as seeing one.
- I once tried out for a solo in chorus in sixth grade and didn’t get it. The song was ‘What a Feeling!’ from Flashdance.
- I started writing when I was 10 years old. I wrote and illustrated mysteries starring me and my best friend. The first mystery: The Case of the Missing Legwarmer
- I have been thinking about concepts like death and eternity since I was a child. Sometimes I try to grasp what the edge of the universe is, or what this all means, or if we’re really alive or just a figment of one person’s imagination, and my brain short circuits and I sit down and watch a marathon of The Golden Girls to bring myself back down from that ledge of panic. That Sophia sure cracks me up!
- I was obsessed with Lost. Still am. Still can’t believe it’s over.
- I am very blunt. I’m straight-forward and honest. I will blurt anything out at the most inappropriate times. Usually at the dinner table at holiday family get-togethers. It’s a curse and a blessing. Mostly a curse to everyone else but me.
- My earliest memory is riding my Big Wheel down the driveway at four years old eating peanut butter toast with one hand and steering with the other. I crashed and my older brother laughed. My driving skills have improved since then, although I did hit a moose once while I was zipping down a back road going 55 mph in the dark of night. I hit it from behind so I suppose you could say it was an “ass-on” collision. The car (a tiny Ford Festiva) was totaled, the moose died and I survived with a sore neck and a story of a lifetime. My co-workers made me a cake with a matchbox car and a tiny moose laying on it’s side. This is Maine, where tragedy can be humorous. It’s how we cope.
- I love to be alone. I lived alone for years in my early 20s. I had a little apartment off campus out in Olympia, Washington. I wasn’t scared of being alone at all, after growing up with five brothers, I relished it. I spent lots of time meditating, reading and talking to my cat. I think of those days fondly even though I am grateful for the family I have now. Still, I can easily see myself as a future crazy old cat lady. (It’s a secret goal of mine.)My husband has never been alone for even one night in his entire life. This mystifies me.
- I used to twirl baton for years in middle school. I was the leader once in our Fourth of July parade and dreaded it because we went after the horses, which meant I was the first one in line to have to step over the giant piles of poop. Once I missed and had to keep on marching, horse crap all over my white sneaker the entire parade. I quit baton that year.
- The library was my favorite place to go as a child. I would ride my bike there after school to read and read. I loved the smell of the books, the quiet; the feeling that everything that had ever happened in the world was somehow magically there, and every author that came before me was whispering–urging me to open up those books and discover them all.
- Sleep is everything to me. I cherish it, I treasure it, I covet it. I look forward to it every single day (usually by 3 pm). I need at least 9 hours of sleep to feel fully rested. Last night I had about 4 and a half total. Getting old sucks.
- I once had a vivid dream where an orchestra was playing the most exquisite, never before heard classical music piece. I woke up, rushed over to write down the notes when suddenly the melodies had been replaced by the theme to Three’s Company.