She's a Maineiac

20 Things About Me That You Might Regret Knowing After You Read This:

1. I am allergic to every group of antibiotics out there. My doctor tells me I am down to one rarely prescribed antibiotic that I can safely take, so if I contract pneumonia and you don’t hear from me, it’s probably because I’m dead.
2. I had three cats in my lifetime: Cujo, a gray tabby who was the sweetest, wisest old soul that ever lived, who also went by the nickname Old Man; Conan, a giant orange tabby that loved to swim in puddles; and Lint, a puff ball of rage who used to claw at me for no reason. I’ve also had several dogs, lizards, gerbils, hamsters, birds, guinea pigs, fish, chickens and ducks. I currently have no pets.
3. I was born severely cross-eyed. As a child, I wore glasses but only for a few years. I kept hiding them under my desk and the teacher finally just gave up trying to find them. To this day if I get tired, my left eye turns in. Very attractive.
4. I can sing very well. I’m alto, but could even be a tenor, my voice is that deep.
5. I do celebrity impressions. Back in high school, I was the hit of any party. My favorites: Katherine Hepburn, Rosie Perez, Jimmy Stewart, Cartman from South Park. I can do basically anyone if I study their voice enough. My teachers didn’t appreciate my talent much.
6. I am a great combination of skeptical and open-minded. I will start out questioning how something works, analyze it to death, then embrace it because I will basically believe anything is possible.
7. I had a dream about my husband before I met him. Also about my son who was with my late father in a vivid dream. My dad told me he was his grandson, my son. I didn’t get pregnant until years later.
8. I am deathly afraid of spiders, any size. Also afraid of killing them. I have been known to trap one under a cup and leave the cup on the floor until someone else comes along and is brave enough to scoop it up. Once I held my breath and picked up the cup only to find no spider. Finding no spider is almost as panic-inducing as seeing one.
9. I once tried out for a solo in chorus in sixth grade and didn’t get it. The song was ‘What a Feeling!’ from Flashdance.
10. I started writing when I was 10 years old. I wrote and illustrated mysteries starring me and my best friend. The first mystery: The Case of the Missing Legwarmer
11. I have been thinking about concepts like death and eternity since I was a child. Sometimes I try to grasp what the edge of the universe is, or what this all means, or if we’re really alive or just a figment of one person’s imagination, and my brain short circuits and I sit down and watch a marathon of The Golden Girls to bring myself back down from that ledge of panic. That Sophia sure cracks me up!
12. I was obsessed with Lost. Still am. Still can’t believe it’s over.
13. I am very blunt. I’m straight-forward and honest. I will blurt anything out at the most inappropriate times. Usually at the dinner table at holiday family get-togethers. It’s a curse and a blessing. Mostly a curse to everyone else but me.
14. My earliest memory is riding my Big Wheel down the driveway at four years old eating peanut butter toast with one hand and steering with the other. I crashed and my older brother laughed. My driving skills have improved since then, although I did hit a moose once while I was zipping down a back road going 55 mph in the dark of night.  I hit it from behind so I suppose you could say it was an “ass-on” collision. The car (a tiny Ford Festiva) was totaled, the moose died and I survived with a sore neck and a story of a lifetime. My co-workers made me a cake with a matchbox car and a tiny moose laying on it’s side.  This is Maine, where tragedy can be humorous. It’s how we cope.
15. I love to be alone. I lived alone for years in my early 20s. I had a little apartment off campus out in Olympia, Washington. I wasn’t scared of being alone at all, after growing up with five brothers, I relished it.  I spent lots of time meditating, reading and talking to my cat. I think of those days fondly even though I am grateful for the family I have now. Still, I can easily see myself as a future crazy old cat lady. (It’s a secret goal of mine.)My husband has never been alone for even one night in his entire life. This mystifies me.
16. I used to twirl baton for years in middle school. I was the leader once in our Fourth of July parade and dreaded it because we went after the horses, which meant I was the first one in line to have to step over the giant piles of poop. Once I missed and had to keep on marching, horse crap all over my white sneaker the entire parade. I quit baton that year.
17. The library was my favorite place to go as a child. I would ride my bike there after school to read and read. I loved the smell of the books, the quiet; the feeling that everything that had ever happened in the world was somehow magically there, and every author that came before me was whispering–urging me to open up those books and discover them all.
18. Sleep is everything to me. I cherish it, I treasure it, I covet it. I look forward to it every single day (usually by 3 pm). I need at least 9 hours of sleep to feel fully rested.  Last night I had about 4 and a half total. Getting old sucks.
19. I once had a vivid dream where an orchestra was playing the most exquisite, never before heard classical music piece. I woke up, rushed over to write down the notes when suddenly the melodies had been replaced by the theme to Three’s Company.
20. There is nothing in the world that I hate more than shopping. I must have inherited this trait from my grandmother. She used to rush into a store, grab what she needed and rush back out. I can’t even bring myself to go into the store. I usually opt to sit in the car and read a book while waiting for my husband to do the shopping. He loves to shop. God brought us together for many reasons.

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Thanks to MJ Monaghan and his fabulous About page that inspired this post.

Tags: humor, life, my life, thoughts