My (Almost) Nine Year old Son
aka “Buddy” “Boo” “CJ Dawg” “Cap’n McFartyPants”
Origin: After over two years of trying to conceive, we decided to give up. That’s the precise moment when my son and God got together, had a good laugh and decided, “Ha! We’ll show them!” and he came along 39 weeks 1 day later after a grueling 24 plus hour labor/emergency c-section. I had my miracle baby that blessed day. My husband had a sandwich while watching Fear Factor. After the nurse handed him to me, I remember vividly staring at the back of his sweet head, his full head of thick hair and little pointy ears reminding me of a tiny old wise man. We decided to name him: Yoda. Well, not really. Although it was in our top 10.
First Words: Dada (I vowed our second child would get this word right the next time around) Guk, as in: “I want guk!” “Got guk?” (His word for milk, even though the speech therapist told me guk wasn’t a word, but to me it was, thank you very much, as I knew exactly what it meant, so what’s the issue?) Sun, as in: “Go Sun?” “Want Sun?” (His word for “outside”, the place he wanted to be 24/7) Ocean (surprising, considering where we live) and Ball
Current Likes: soccer, running really fast, laying on top of his sister and pretending he doesn’t know she is there, iCarly, Sam on iCarly, a billion Legos on the floor, a thousand hot wheels in my bed, “Brown Food”, rolling his eyes at me, rolling his eyes at his sister, playing the Wii, playing Nintendo DSi, playing any video game until his eyes glaze over and my voice is nothing but a distant annoying hum.
Current Dislikes: My distant annoying voice, music class, anything even remotely veggie-like, Justin Beiber
Famous Quotes: “Boobies! Boobies! I see boobies!” When he was three and saw the bra section at Walmart for the first time. I’m praying he doesn’t do this when he’s 35.
“Old MacDonald had a farm, E I E I OH! And on this farm he had some PENISES! E I E I OOOOOOHHHH! With a PENIS here and a PENIS there!” Sung at the top of his lungs in the Walmart bathroom stall later that same day.
“Whatever.” Said every single, eye-rolling day. (No wait, that was my quote, so sorry.)
Claim to Fame: At the tender age of four, once rode a horse twice around a field at a kid’s birthday party wearing no shoes or socks.
Once wore a black Dracula cape, a red fireman’s helmet, some mittens, shorts and a tank top while shopping at Target with his dad. His dad helped him get dressed.
My Four Year Old Daughter
aka “Sweet Pea” “Princess” “Diva” “Lady JuJu”
Origin: After trying to get pregnant and having several miscarriages in a row, we decided to “give up” and get rid of every single baby item we owned and well…y’know the rest. God has a sense of humor.
First Words: Mama (Score!) Ball, Chocolate and Excuse me Mom, but could you tell my dear sweet brother to kindly get out of my face?
Current Likes: iCarly, the color pink, Disney Princesses, Polly Pockets, irritating her brother just by sitting next to him and breathing
Current Dislikes: Not getting the exact same color, size and shape of the thing her brother just got.
Famous Quotes: “Mom, I don’t like anybody in the entire world! Nobody!” and then off she stomped with her hands on her hips. (Oh, I feel your pain, sister)
“If I could be any animal, I’d be an elephant. You want to know why, Mommy? Because elephants have BIG POOPS! POOP POOP POOP!! POOPY POOP! YAY! ELEPHANT POOP!” (said in a Walmart bathroom, we haven’t been allowed back since that fateful day)
Claim to Fame: Once fell to the floor in aisle 2 of the supermarket and proceeded to have a tantrum of epic proportions because I wouldn’t buy her fruit candy in the shape of Scooby Doo. Ruh Roh Raggy!
So that’s the Little Ones in a nutshell. God, how I love them.