This week I am honored to be a guest blogger over at Deborah’s
The Monster in Your Closet.
I first visited her blog and read the post, Six hands for lifting: on my mom, mental illness, fear & hope and was moved by the honesty, courage and grace of her words.
She has started a new guest post series about gratitude:
In her own words: “Despite the hardships we face, there’s something that makes us believe hope is worth nurturing. That better times are coming. For me, then, it was natural that TMiYC’s guest blog spot be dedicated to gratitude.”
I invite you to read, These Arms Were Meant to Hold You, about my journey of painful loss, unwavering hope and finally, gratitude. This post explains why I go by “miraclemama”. Thank you for reading.
And a huge thank you to you, Deb, because your willingness to share some of your darkest times inspired me to dig deep and share mine as well. And it feels good to get them out in the open and let the light shine in!
She's A Maineiac 
Read it and cried. I love TMiYC, and yours was the perfect post to kick of FTIAT! New follower. I’m planning to submit an entry for this series. 🙂
I am hooked on TMiYC, too. Deb had me with the first sentence I read!
Thank you for such sweet comments. I can’t wait to read yours and the other entries. It’s so refreshing to read about the positive things that we are thankful for, good for the soul.
I am so honored to post this at TMiYC. Like Chris said, this was the perfect entry to kick off the series!
I wanted to email you before I left the house this morning just to say, “You’ve got this!” I know how unsettling it is to release a huge part of yourself into the world and hope people treat that with gentleness and respect, instead of wondering aloud, “What the heck was this lady thinking?”
I had a really hard time reining in the tears en route to work this morning. I was thinking about what you said in comment Wednesday, about me being part of your path to being able to share this. I feel so honored to have hosted this beautiful reflection of your beautiful soul, but . . . even moreso honored to have read those words and see that my hope others feel safe and comfortable and supported by me. That is such a blessing and a gift to me, and I am so grateful.
It’s my hope future FTIAT bloggers don’t see your entry and compare their entries to you but instead see how all these pieces fit together to form a quilt whose many different patterns and colors combine to create something even more powerful than any of the parts alone.
And it feels good to get them out in the open and let the light shine in!
Amen! Amen. I believe your example will inspire other peoples to seek and feel that lightness, and that is an inspiration to me.
♥
how unsettling it is to release a huge part of yourself into the world and hope people treat that with gentleness and respect, instead of wondering aloud, “What the heck was this lady thinking?”
Exactly! I have to admit, I was worried about that very thing! But you managed to calm any of my fears. Still, I always hold my breath before I click “publish”.
Amazing how your blog has brought so many together in such a respectful supportive community–and your readers are so kind to me with their comments. 🙂
And I am anxious to read the other varied takes on “gratitude” in your series.
Painful. Hopeful. Definitely a miracle. Wow. More than beautifully written.
Thank you. I’m a very lucky woman!
Wow! That was such a beautiful post and so well written. I’ve always believed that life is a balance of good and bad. Every time it seems too good, I expect something will equalize it. Every time it appears too bad, I wait for it to pass. I’m so happy for your happiness now.
I absolutely believe that, too. None of us can really escape tragedies or pain and suffering, but we can all hold onto what’s good and true in our lives and make the most of what we have. Thanks for your comments, Kay.
Thank you for sharing such a painful part of yourself, Mama. Now I know why you chose the blog name you did. Every time I read it now, I’ll think about the miracles in your life.
Thanks, Susan. I was going to stick with “miraclemama” then on a whim came up with She’s a Maineiac one morning when I was half asleep and now it seems I am stuck with it! 🙂
I get confused easily, Mama (is it really Darla?). When I click on your post, miraclemama comes up in the URL, but your title on your blog says “She’s a Maineiac.” At least I have it right on my blogroll.
I know, it’s confusing. I am not tech savvy (as you can tell!) 🙂
When I started blogging, I had no clue what it entailed (still a little clueless I admit) and so I originally registered my account with wordpress using “miraclemama”, not really having a title for my blog.
Then I realized I had to come up with SOMEthing and “she’s a Maineiac” was the best I could do at the time (and I honestly didn’t think anyone but me would ever be reading it so I wasn’t concerned) LOL! Now I don’t know, but isn’t it too late to change my URL? I would think that would mess up the linking back to my blog–or something?!
I’m surprised most days I can even figure out how to turn the computer on.
I would have loved to have had six kids. But we only had one. I have struggled with depression my whole life but my postpartum depression after having my daughter was devastating. I wrote an article about my experience here:
Click to access T_summer_07.pdf
(you may have to cut and paste if you want to read it — I couldn’t find out how to link it).
You are a miracle, mama. Your children are blessed to have such an amazing mom!
Your article was very moving and honest. Thank you for sharing your story. I can imagine how difficult that must have been for you to write. And you, too are a miracle mama.
I also had severe PPD after my first baby. It was some of the darkest days in my life. I didn’t realize that I even had it at the time, I was so mired down in the pits of dreariness and hopelessness. I had panic attacks, and didn’t want to live at one point. My world was steeped in this suffocating gray depression. My son had health issues as a newborn and I think my traumatic childbirth with him combined with the endless sleep deprivation is what sent me over the edge. Depression runs in my family and I’ve fought it off and on for years. I still haven’t had the courage to revisit those days or even begin to write about it. Maybe someday I will.
I just came from there, Darla. It is a beautiful piece of writing. And what is better is that it fills me up with love and respect for you.
Thank you, Priya! Every time I read one of your posts I feel the same.
Darla, you continue to amaze me with the depth of your feelings and your ability to put them into words. I left a comment on Deborah’s blog, but just had to repeat myself here. Beautiful work.
You do wonders for my constant underlying writing anxiety, Charles. Truly. Thank you! I am happy you enjoyed my post and your comments help me to keep at it.
To add to the confusion I referred to you as SAM in a comment to another blogger and guess what? No confusion…she understood my reference… No, no gossiping, just agreeing with something you said. ♥
Good for you to push publish…Deb provides such a warm community that assures us we will all feel “gentleness and respect.” When I suffered angst over a piece…and I ran it by her…she answered with “PUBLISH”…such a busy lady, yet she took time to read, comment and push.
Perhaps her FTIAT will grow bigger than dare I say it FP.
Ha, Georgette! I must have missed that reply to SAM.
Deb is an amazing person (and all of her readers too!) and her blog was the ideal place for me to take that plunge with something so deeply personal. So empowering to have a respectful and warm blogging community to connect with and learn from!
Thanks for the comments, Georgette.
Simply beautiful. I’m still working on loving my body after 5 babies, though. You’re an inspiration.
I know you are a gorgeous mama! Don’t you forget it. 🙂
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What a beautiful photo and I have to give you an award from http://postadaychallenge2011.com/ ME, Jackie Paulson. I need followers and I appreciate it if you will follow back.
Hi, Darla. Clicking on the link to your post on Deborah’s website I received a notification that the site is no longer active. Is this post available anyplace else? Bob
Hi Bob! Sorry, I’m afraid that post isn’t available anywhere else and it looks like her blog is deleted now. Hope you’re doing well! 🙂 Darla