Postess with the Mostess

Typing ape
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My fellow blogger, Tori, with her brilliant writing and ability to find humor in a trip to Target with a toddler even though it’s much less enjoyable than say, a root canal at the DMV,  recently bestowed/forced upon me the honor/curse/if-I-don’t-do-this-bad-things-will-happen,
7 Posts Award. Now I have the quandary of choosing seven of my best posts to share with you. I’ve only written about 50 total, so it’s slim pickings, guys, sorry. And if you’re already falling asleep, feel free to stop reading now and check out Tori’s The Ramblings instead, I don’t mind. The woman is hysterical.

1) Post that Gets the Most Hits
Things My Vacuum Likes to EatDay after day, this post is read by someone, somewhere in the world who undoubtedly has a vacuum crisis of epic proportions and needs advice. This post ain’t it.

2) Post that is the Most Lame
Besides the above post (ahem)…and a few others (cough)… What’s a Widget?– is extremely lame. In my defense, it’s my first post. Although I am surprised it didn’t get Freshly Pressed, it was a gem.

3) Post Full of the Most Ruminations and Contemplations that My Head Imploded
It’s all in your mind–About trying to come to grips with the point of writing in the first place. Well, I think there was a point to this post, but I can’t remember it now. And this little synopsis is probably not going to help you. I’m not that good with words. Or maybe I am. Read it and find out.

4) Post that Mostly No One Read and if you do, be prepared to cry unless you are a cold, heartless human being and/or don’t like dogs
A Girl and Her Dog

5) Post that is Found by the Most Bizarre and Disturbing Search Engine Phrases
Quick, Mom! Run and Hide!–  A few recent searches: “funny to my mother you managed to keep her sanity raising us kids how did you do it”
“naked mom ran across the stage to hide”
“pauly d has to take evasive action in the hot tub”
“why does my cat always run and hide from my kids”
“how to hide an ugly fan in the bathroom”
“sometime i think if i sing and brush my hair at the same time, it will have special powers and glow(:”

6) Post with the Most Tears Shed While Writing
Struggling to BreatheAbout my dear father who passed away when I was in college.

7) Post Filled with My Most Favorite Things in Life
Bedtime StoriesAbout sleep and Three’s Company. Really, what more do you need to have a truly fulfilling life?

There, done!  Hopefully I won’t lose too many readers now.

And I hereby force this honor onto the following victims, who don’t have to reciprocate and might not read this anyway, but I think their blogs are totally awesome. Check them out, you won’t be disappointed:

The Good Greatsby This guy is an enigma: always hilarious, posts daily, has a multitude of readers, wears a smoking jacket and owns a robot.  I live vicariously through him every chance I get. He transports me directly into his world in China and I don’t want to leave.

The Simple Life of a Country Man’s Wife Her pictures are gorgeous, her words beautifully haunting and stay with me long after I’ve read them. She transports me directly into her world in South Dakota and I don’t want to leave.

Partial View through Priya’s Looking Glass Priya’s writing is so unique and so gorgeous, I often have to reread her posts. She has an uncanny ability to evoke a certain feeling that I never knew could be put into words. And again, she transports me directly into her world in India and I don’t want to leave.

I might have to consider relocating from Maine, but then I’d have to change the name of my blog. So nah, I’ll just keep reading the above blogs instead.

21 thoughts on “Postess with the Mostess

  1. John Erickson

    Congratulations! And now you’ve the REAL reason I don’t have a blog – so nobody can throw hot potatoes at me! 😉

    1. Aw, c’mon, John! Are you sure you don’t want to start a blog? I promise I won’t throw a hot potato at you…until you have enough posts to cover the seven best ones… mua ha ha! Seriously, I wish you would start one. I bet it would be most excellent! 🙂

      1. John Erickson

        Well….. I’ll think about it. I have several others who have suggested it as well. Inspiration would be the challenge. I do have a “rollercoaster” period coming up – 9/11 for obvious reasons, my anniversary the next day, and the anniversary of my mom’s death on the 13th. I may have to let fly with some poetry to cleanse things. We’ll see. 😉

  2. Deborah the Closet Monster

    The comments for #2 and #5 had me giggling. I can’t read the posts now, but I hope to settle in with them this evening, after the little one’s gone to bed.

      1. Deborah the Closet Monster

        Very, very few are the times where I laugh at–they are cinematic and involve humorous bully-blocking! In your case, there can only be laughing with! Truly. ♥

        Also, I know it’s in no way related to this, but I JUST SAW MY FIRST PICTURE OF MY NIECE. She’s halfway to this world now; in January, I’ll get to meet her, and my then 6-week-old nephew. *weeps with elation*

      2. Oh! That is absolutely fantastic, Auntie Deb! Will this be your first time being an aunt? Congrats to you! What a beautiful thing to look forward to, holding those sweet babies in your arms. I loved the ultrasound pics of my kids. My daughter had a 3D one and you could see the tiniest of details and she was even sucking her thumb.

      3. Deborah the Closet Monster

        AUNTIE DEB! *melt*

        I’ll be a first-time auntie in November, when my youngest sister has her son. I was actually planning on staying long for Thanksgiving until my just-younger sister announced she was pregnant a month and a half later. So, to save money and scant PTO, I’m visiting in mid- to late January and meeting both Li’l D’s new cousins. I feel nigh explodey with happiness. ♥

        I also had a 3D ultrasound! Even at 21 weeks, he looked much as he does now, but smaller. And orange-r. 😀

      4. Whoa, you have so much to look forward to– And for Li’l D to meet his new cousins, aw! I have a feeling lots of pics will be taken. 😉 And I laughed at your last comment. Yeah, my daughter pretty much looks exactly the same too, except she has more hair now and is a lot less grainy, thank goodness.

    1. No, no, no Byron! Don’t read it! I want you to come back here! Okay, okay, if you must, I understand, I root for the underdog, too. (congrats again on being FP, your blog deserves it, very funny stuff)

  3. I found you through the Quick, Mom, Run and Hide! post and have been following since – that was the funniest thing I had read in a long time and so relatable. I love that Number Seven is about Three’s Company, so it’s your favorite: that’s the one show we weren’t allowed to watch as kids. And we watched A TON of television. Never understood that, but my mom just thought it wasn’t funny and had no entertainment value. (Yes, I know that millions of people disagree with her — and I wouldn’t know whether she’s right or wrong since I never watched it).

    1. The bathroom hiding thing was something I didn’t think ANYone could relate to, I thought no one would ever read it. It’s had well over 7,000 views now. Funny to think my embarassing secret would be so relatable. I guess moms everywhere are very close to losing it? And that is comedy gold!
      I would say Three’s Company is my husband’s favorite. He uses it as a sleep aid and frankly, I am sick of seeing Jack Tripper and Mr. Furley. I can see why your mom didn’t let you guys watch it. It really is one of the dumbest (but kinda funny, okay I admit it) shows out there.

  4. Priya

    I’ve been meaning to come and respond to this post only once I’ve read all of your posts mentioned here, but time had something else planned! I haven’t been able to, and weeks are slipping by. So, before I get down to reading all of these, which I really do want to, I want to let you know that I feel immensely thankful for mentioning me here. So, thank you, Darla. So long.

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