Fluffernutter Friday: So bad for you, it’s good

I have been trying to write all week and nothing is working. Something is telling me the words aren’t jelling, my spelling is… hell-ing. I’m resorting to making up words just so I can rhyme, and my punctuation is, (just); not: “making, sense”. I want to use only smiley faces and explanation points to communicate. Gah! Did I just say, gah? Yikes, I’m getting all curmudgeonly in this post.  Blogging is all too much thinking. I give up. I can’t write. I want to, I need to, but it’s not happening.  I can barely form a complete sentence and

Normally, when I write, I love to visit dictionary.com because it helps to expand my limited…uh…what’s the word I’m thinking of…oh yeah, vocabulary (and it reminds me that my brain is so pliable, it’s practically silly putty). But lately, my mind is so zapped, I found myself staring at a common word and questioning if it was really spelled that way.  The word was awkward. It just didn’t look right to me. Nope, still doesn’t, no matter how much I stare at it. Too many Ws or something. Maybe it’s time to pack it in and give this writing thing a rest.

With my mind being in a semi-permanent (I can only hope) state of “stand by” mode, I’ve decided to give you a filler post. Fluff.  A post about nothing.  I was making my son his lunch this morning when I realized I had about three seconds to slap something together before the bus pulled up. I reached for a jar of strawberry Fluff, added a little PB and voila! a delectable sugar-bomb of a lunch the teacher will be sure to write me an angry note about later.  So what. It’s not like he eats it every single day. What’s the harm? I love fluffy stuff. Comfort food. I’m all for soft and cozy things. Enjoy life a little! Don’t worry! It’s fine. Let it all go. Indulge yourself for once. No thinking or guilt required.  Go ahead and wrap yourself up in a warm quilt, sip some tea and enjoy the guilty pleasure of watching Survivor while munching on a fluffernutter sandwich. C’mon, try it. Feels good, doesn’t it? Ahhh!  I really should write more posts like this one.

Speaking of guilty pleasures. Julie of goguiltypleasures has a little contest going on. And here are my two biggest guilty pleasures:

Also, I have to tell you all about a dream I had early this morning. It was so vivid. I was logging onto WordPress and blinked in surprise to see a post of mine all Freshly Pressed. My mouth dropped open and I frantically clicked on it and a video clip popped up on my screen. To my horror, there I was: hair all matted, a long indentation of my pillow case running down my cheek, more bags under my eyes than at JFK airport, shuffling into my kitchen wearing a baggy Nirvana t-shirt and Homer Simpson slippers yelling, “COFFEE! NOW! OR! I! KILL! YOU!” Then I burped so loud the windows rattled. Below the post the current hits were at 1,000,000 and climbing. My husband appeared and said, “See, I told you blogging is evil.” Then his voice morphed into the devil shouting “Blogging’s evil! EVIL EVIL EVIL!” over and over and I woke up in a panic, drenched in sweat.  I think this is a sign I need to: a) take a blogging break (again) or b) get a life or c) do away with the vlog thing.

Before I sign off, I have a quick new video for you. Don’t worry, I won’t make this a weekly thing.  Y’know that old wives’ tale, if you see cows laying down, rain is on the way?  What is on the way if you see an entire herd of cows running full tilt across a field? Have you ever seen a cow run? Well, you are in luck today. Keep your eyes on the left top of the house.

I apologize for the poor video quality. You might need your glasses or just squint a lot like I do. The window screen was in the way, but trust me, those black dots you saw running are of the bovine persuasion (damn you, dictionary.com!) The pungent aroma of cow that fills my nostrils every morning can attest to that fact.

So this was the scene from my bedroom window off and on for most of the day. They’d run like crazy to one end of the field, then clump together, maybe to discuss politics, until one of the cows said something offensive and they all started angrily chasing each other. Maybe the cows were playing a raucous game of Freeze Tag or incredibly bored. It may also be a warning. We usually can tell what season it is by the location of where the cows have their little pow-wow. When they are grazing at the top of the hill to the left, it’s spring. The middle means it’s summer. When they are clumped over to the right of the pasture, fall is in the air. When they suddenly and inexplicably start galloping across the field? Armageddon. Or maybe just a cold harsh winter.

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48 thoughts on “Fluffernutter Friday: So bad for you, it’s good

  1. Darla!!! I want to ‘like’ this at least 107 more times!! I LOVE your guilty pleasures (peanut butter cups are my FAVORITE candy, and I also used the watch Golden Girls)!! Thanks so much for ‘playing along’! Your visuals were great; I have to tell you when you panned over to the TV I was on the edge of my seat, thinking, “What-is-it-whats-it-going-to-be-whatisit!!!” LOL

    Also, your dream made me laugh out loud: blogging is evil!! Wickedly fun, I might say instead. 😉

    Lastly – I never have seen cows running! That is amazing. And what a spectacular view you have!

    1. You and I must be long-lost twins or something. I love peanut butter cups so much, my daughter’s middle name is Reese. I am serious! (okay, I named her Reese after my late father’s initials, but still…) Golden Girls is the show I watch when I want to feel all safe and cozy. One of my absolute favorites of all time.

      The cow video doesn’t really show how fast those guys were running. My son and I were outside kicking a soccer ball when they galloped from one end to the other and it scared the crap out of us! They were really booking it. Then they’d suddenly stop and graze like nothing was going on. Very odd.

  2. I’m with GoJulesGo – I want to “like” this post countless times. Love it! You are hilarious – absolutely hilarious! Though peanut butter cups and Golden Girls are not on my list of guilty pleasures – Fluffernutters ARE! And, I am happy to say my son loves peanut butter, fluff and jelly. Yes – all on one sandwich. My sister made that sandwich for me when I was little – it remains one of my favorites (and she’ll still make it for me on occasion – yes, I am 42, what is your point?), and I love the fact that my oldest likes the sandwich, too! Good taste clearly runs in our family.

    Speaking of running… the cows were awesome! Reminds me of our dogs, when the weather start to get chilly …. like now. The taste of Fall brings out the frisky in all of us. Well, by all – I mean the four legged variety.

    LOVE THIS!!

    1. Sometimes, I have even made a fluffernutter sandwich for dinner with a nice tall cold glass of milk (shh!)

      I think you may be onto something with the frisky cows. It was a bit chilly that day. Maybe they’re doing cow-aerobics?

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    1. That dream was so real and actually scared the crap outta me. I half wondered if I DID post a vlog of me waking up in the morning (not that I burp, ever….)

      It’s hard to say who is my fave Golden Girl. Sophia I suppose, for her killer zingers. But I also love Dorothy’s deadpan humor look.

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  5. John Erickson

    I think the dream was a clear sign. You have a deficiency in your life. A terrible, empty, gaping void.
    GO GET SOME COFFEE!!! 😀
    Cows running – proof that God has a sense of humour. 😉

    1. And thankfully, I did get some coffee, by God! And all was right with the world…

      In all my days here in Maine, and in all the times I have seen cows in a field, not once have I ever seen ONE cow move faster than molassas running uphill in the dead of winter. Let alone an entire herd sprinting.

  6. STRAWBERRY FLUFF? Once a week I make Noah a peanut butter and fluff sandwich because I am an awesome mom (regardless of what he thinks 50% of the time), and if we have Nutella in the house, well, the sandwiches get downright sinful.

    But strawberry fluff? I must give you my address and have you send me some. Of course, I’ll send the money first. WE DO NOT HAVE THIS IN CALIFORNIA. Or maybe I’m wrong. I don’t know. I’m going to google that shit RIGHT NOW and get that in my cabinets.

    gah!

    1. Now that is an idea–Nutella with Fluff! or would that be so much sugar, my son would shoot straight through the ceiling?

      Google away and I’d be happy to send you some if you can’t find any. Jim picked it up at Walmart (the place where healthy eating habits go to die) It’s a tiny jar though, and it’s mostly gone and I think there’s even a little peanut butter in there…but you’re welcome to it!

  7. Okay all you mamas out there, I feel deprived in not knowing what the heck “Fluff” is! LOL! Peanut butter and fluff, fluffernutter, either way, sounds incredibly yummy. Geez, and I pride myself on being such a great lunch-maker. What was I thinking? And, as for writing a blog about everything and nothing at the same time, well, this SWM really needed a good laugh-so thanks! There’s a time and place for it all. 🙂 Go cows!

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  9. Man, those cows were BOOKIN’! I never thought they could move so fast.

    I have to confess that I indulge in a few Golden Girls episodes on a semi-regular basis. But I feel a little guiltier about my love of Project Runway. And now I might have to buy some Fluff. We never had any fancy strawberry kind, but the plain old sugar-in-whipped-form white stuff was fine with me. I wonder if I will still like it after not having it for 30 years, or if it will now taste so sweet that I’ll fall instantly into a diabetic coma.

    I’m still laughing about that dream!

    1. I’ve never seen Project Runway. I have to admit (with loads of guilt) that I’ve watched America’s Next Top Model a few times. I just can’t seem to turn away from Tyra Banks and her in-your-face diva-ness.

      You should be careful with the Fluff if you haven’t had it in awhile. It is dangerous. A little goes a long way.

  10. That farmer has the cows running because he’s going strictly for skim milk (ba-dum-dum).
    Funny thing is, I stopped on the way in to work yesterday for a baby cow crossing the road. Yes, that’s what I said. A calf of the bovine persuasion came up from the left side of the road when I was passing the golf course, and loped across the road in front of my astonished, still-sleepy eyes. Didn’t even yell “fore!” first.

    What’s with the cows? What does it all mean?

    BTW, that lunch sounds extra yummy. Can I eat at your house?

    1. Your entire reply had me laughing hysterically, Peg!

      What IS with the cows?! What IS Fluff really made of? Ah, the mysteries of the universe. Some things I guess we’ll never know and that’s probably a good thing.

    1. I am very relieved so many of you guys can appreciate a little extra-sweet fluffernutter. After that day of cows running, they are back to move slow or hardly moving at all. Something must have spooked them, very odd.

  11. Hey! Loved your previous post with your first vlog! I have been having a hard time writing anything and am reading everyone else’s posts a week or two late 🙂 I’m totally incapable of writing at the moment as well, so I’m sticking to the fluffier (leaving out the nutty) stuff, like the arts and crafts posts, which are easy, except the photo part.

    Anyway, I also wanted to say that you received The Versatile Blogger Award: http://theoutlawmom.com/2011/09/26/why-i-blog-versatile-blogger-award/!!!!

    Not sure what that means? Look it up 🙂

  12. I had no idea Marshmallow Fluff comes in strawberry. Talk about being out of touch. Just one more reason I keep coming back to this blog, Darla. Please do not “give this writing thing a rest.”

    1. And now that you know about strawberry Fluff, please do NOT go out and start buying some. Much like white boxer briefs and pretzel rods, the powers that be will get wind of it and it will instantly disappear completely from the shelves.

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  14. I love your vlogging, Darla – don’t give it up! And I’m so glad you too appreciate guilty pleasure. Like Fluff and PB cups & of course Golden Girls. That Rose kills me.

    I’ve been eating cupcakes for breakfast – I ate toast first so it wasn’t too bad. Now that it’s lunch I best put something more substantial in the tank. Like cake.

    😉

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  16. Your fluffernutter story makes me feel better that I recently bought my kids their own Pez dispensers (it was a sentimental childhood-attachment thing) from the grocery store checkout lane and then looked at the checker with an expression that attempted to convey, “I never do this. Ever.”

    I LOVE GOLDEN GIRLS!

    P.S. I have never been lucky enough to be FP’d and if I ever get there, I’m certain it will contain a picture of me from my most awkward (is there two w’s?) era ever, probably with a perm from hell and white-washed jeans.

    1. I love Pez! And I am happy I made you feel better, that’s what I’m here for. 😀
      I could watch reruns of Golden Girls until the cows come home.
      When you are FP, I will be there to cheer you on.

  17. Hey, that’s pretty slick how you got all Freshly Pressed to boost your chances to win Julie’s contest. Nice work there! I’m more than a little nervous. Sure wish I had a Reese’s to eat for comfort but I’m pretty sure my dog ate them all.

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