The days are getting longer
Boys and girls are home from school
Time for one last important lesson
Let’s call it: Mommy’s Golden Rule
If you say the words, “I’m bored!”
She’ll have you wash your father’s socks
If you say it three more times
You can clean the litter box
If you say it yet again
Just to see if Mom goes crazy
She’ll go Roadhouse on your ass
Just like actor Patrick Swayze
For Your Wife:
Fear not the dimpled butt and thighs
(Just being brutally honest)
I’ve found the perfect beach outfit
That you really shouldn’t pooh-pooh
It’s versatile and colorful
Mrs. Roper’s ratty muumuu
The long cold winter is over
Snow and ice are finally gone
Warmer weather is a-coming
And now you must be movin’ on
Put on your capris!
Put on your shorts!
Knock back some coke and scotch!
Dust off that razor, woman
Damn, you look just like Sasquatch!