The Beauty in the Real You

People Magazine 2012

In People magazine’s World’s Most Beautiful article, they recently unveiled more photos showing celebrities without a drop of makeup. When someone sees a celebrity with no makeup, the tendency is to be a little shocked.  Apparently, we love to see them show off their true beauty, we think it’s ‘refreshing’ and ‘real’. For a moment, we realize these people are actually human, just like us!

I’m all for going au naturel, if that’s what a woman wants to do.  I normally don’t wear a ton of makeup. Not because I’m not vain at all (ha! good one!) but because I am allergic to almost everything. Also, my hand shakes when anything with a sharp point or resembling a clamp gets too close to my eyeballs.  Put an eyelash curler in the hands of a colossal clutz like me and you’re flirting with disaster. Besides, I live in Maine, where we’re not obligated to look halfway decent out in public. The more worn around the edges you look, the more you fit in around these parts.

When I do slap on some concealor or lipstick, my husband notices right away. “WOW, honey! You look good!” After he recovers from a few rapid-fire jabs to his arm, he desperately tries to backpedal. “I mean, you always look good. Even with no makeup. Ow! Stop hitting me! Ow! Actually, you don’t need makeup at all, it just looks good on you sometimes! Ow! What I am trying to say is, you are gorgeous just being you, I swear!”

This is my love/hate relationship with makeup. We all know it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Still, sometimes I want to look a little better than what the cat dragged in. Is that wrong? The older I get, the less I want to care about my outer looks, but it’s still there.  We have been conditioned to believe this is what matters. I’m not going to start pointing fingers and playing the blame game about media, movies, celebrity because we all eat that stuff up just as much as we condemn it.

I suppose it may be true humans are inclined to prefer things they initially find appealing to the eye–gorgeous sunsets, beautiful flowers…people with long lashes and perfect lips.  But I’ve found that once you get to know a person’s inner personality, their true soul shines through and completely transforms the person’s overall appeal. Once this happens, the superficial looks of a person are not even noticeable anymore. It is a shame that we tend to focus only on the outer attractiveness when we hold someone in high esteem, like celebrities. But it does sell a lot of magazines.

Maybe we’d all feel better about our natural beauty if we could see more of these celebrities in their genuine natural glory. Or better yet, someone like me who wasn’t already blessed with a perfectly symmetrical face and high cheekbones. Would People magazine ever feature everyday women like me? Well they tried with this article showing the “inner and outer beauty” of women. Still, not a asymmetrical face in the bunch; all of them have what we deem as an ‘attractive’ face.

Instead, this is what I wish People magazine would do: get someone who had no sleep the previous night, say someone who slept on the edge of her 5 year old’s twin bed for a total of three hours of jagged sleep; someone who had no time for a shower, and had to pull her hair back into a ratty ponytail in her rush to get the kids off to school; someone who can’t afford fancy soaps and moisturizers made out of rose petals and Dead Sea salt scrubs; someone who worked long hours all day standing on her feet, her face puffed up and bloated; someone who inherited her mother’s dark circles, bad skin, crooked nose and saggy chin. In other words: someone with a regular normal face.

Maybe then I’d believe we are free from our insecurities with our own looks and the innate desire to look more attractive.  I know I still struggle with it, like a lot of men and women. The older I get, the more I want to just be myself, gray hair, wrinkles, dark circles and all. But if I go to Target looking like that, I sometimes feel a little embarrassed, especially if I run into say, an ex-boyfriend from college. Suddenly I’m Quasimodo with my hands covering my face. “Look away! Bah! Nothing to see here!” Other days, I really don’t care what people think of me. Yeah, so what! I’ve got zits and I’m 41! I’ve got crow’s feet and dark circles! This is what I really look like–deal with it!  Feels good. Being yourself and loving it. Imagine! It’s a process. I’m slowly getting there. I suppose not being able to halt the aging process helps me get there faster.

Same goes for my weight. It’s just a number. Why do I care so much? I am the weight I am and I should just go with it. The important thing to me should be: Am I healthy? Am I happy? Am I able to be live and breathe and be with my family and friends? And who really thinks I’m beautiful, even in my natural state?  My kids, husband, family and friends. Of course they do, they love me. These are the ultimate things we should be concerning ourselves with, not whether a person still looks ‘good’ with no makeup or if their bodies aren’t a certain weight.

We are all so much more than our bodies, our faces. Obviously, our true essense has nothing to do with our bodies at all. Instead, our bodies should be cherished and accepted as they are because they are the vehicles that get us around while we’re alive. But ultimately, they’re the shells we shed once we die. Yet we preoccupy ourselves so much with how they look and continually put ourselves down when we try to measure up to what society thinks is attractive. I know I do. Takes a bit of joy out of living.

Deep down we all know this to be a fact: what matters in the end is what we do, who we love and how we treat others while we’re here.  Kindness. Compassion. Respect. Love. If you allow these things to shine through–the real you–the outer physical stuff falls away and in your heart you’ll feel radiant and gorgeous because you are.

I can’t think of anything more beautiful.

81 thoughts on “The Beauty in the Real You

    1. Aw, you just made my day. 😀 I feel the same about you and your blog.

      Please, keep coming back. (Even though you just ate all of my dark chocolate Godiva, I forgive you, it’s good stuff…)

  1. I think you are right! As I get older, there have been mornings when I was shocked after looking in the mirror. I finally found a product I am not allergic to after suffering with dry skin all winter.
    You are right that looks should never be the main focus. I love your idea that our soul shines through! If I could just find the volume on it so I could turn it up on my bad days…. 🙂 Great post!

    1. Ah! Susie, there are days (ok, make that every day…) where I get up in the morning, go to wash my face, look in the mirror and I actually cannot believe what I am seeing. I always say to my husband, “Is this what I look like? What the hell happened?!” I scare myself!

      The older I get, the more I am forced to embrace my true looks. It’s a long process. I also noticed a huge crop of gray hair right in the front that wasn’t there a few months ago. I don’t want to dye it though. I have finally stopped doing that a few years ago and am finally back to the color I was born with…But then, I am not ready for the grays yet. what to do…what to do…

      1. I started getting “gray” hairs at 16 and by my late 20s was pretty much already salt and pepper. Now I am a brilliant white. I am comfortable with it – it grows incredibly fast and I always had white roots showing when I colored it. I wear a touch of eyeliner and mascara, and a little lipstick, but nothing else. If I wasn’t in front of a classroom most days, I wouldnt; bother with that…I am shocked sometimes when I look in the mirror, but most days I am just happy I woke up, to puffy eyes, age spots, and white mop of hair.

        1. That’s what I’m hoping for, that I’ll be just happy to wake up in the morning! I think I’m getting there bit by bit. I think all white hair is gorgeous. I honestly don’t think I’d have the energy or patience to spend the time it would take to color my roots every six weeks.

  2. Amen! I let my hair coloring go last summer, and had the last of the dye job chopped off this past January. I LOVE my hair color!! It’s so mulit-tonal and multi-dimensional and healthy feeling (what an oxymoron, since hair is dead) since I stopped coloring it. Our youth obsessed culture is annoying to say the least. What ever happened to valuing wisdom and experience?

    I’ve always found it fascinating how a person’s looks change to our perceptions, once we get to know them. Some people who appear physically pretty, become ugly when it matches their personality. And the opposite is true. I have absolutely no objectivity when it comes to my son. I think he’s cute as a bug, no matter what!

    And yes, when it really comes down to it, if you ever really think about it, what is the most important thing on people’s minds if they think they’re about to die? Tell my family or whoever, that I love them. John Lennon really had it right when he said that love is all there is. What really matters is that we love well and are loved.

    1. I really do love my hair now too, Sue. It’s strange, I almost couldn’t remember what the true color was, it’s been so long. I’ve been blonde, red, light brown, golden brown. I had to look back at old wedding pictures to figure out I am a dark brown naturally, haha!

      And absolutely loved you quoting John Lennon. I really doubt on my death bed I’ll say, ‘damn, I sure wish I had weighed myself more or put myself down more’. I am getting very tired of my own negative view of myself and my looks. Women really do put so much pressure on ourselves (men too). Imagine how freeing it would be to just walk around knowing that I am a good person and it doesn’t matter what I look like!

  3. When my daughter was little, I used to read Snow White to her. It was one of those Disney books, oversized and filled with big, colorful illustrations. One day, I asked my daughter if she thought Snow White was beautiful, and she said yes. Then I asked her the same question about the Queen, and she immediately said no. In truth, the queen had been drawn to look physically perfect, but her personality and the way she treated others made her seem ugly. I was glad my daughter got that at such a young age. And I’m glad you wrote this post, Darla. Thank you.

  4. So true what you say about the way a person’s appearance changes once the personality emerges, whether good or bad. I think you could say this is the spirit breaking through the barrier of our perception
    Last year I went through a long period of allergy overload, and I became so senstive to everything that I could not use cleansers to clean my house, and worse and much more complicated I could not tolerate anything in the area of personal hygene products – nothing- no soap, no shampoo, no deodarent, and certainly no makeup of any kind. I could not even tolerate being in the same room as an unopened bar of soap. I couldn’t believe what was happening. But I tell you, I learned alot about myself during this time. For one thing, I learned how much of who I thought of as myself was basically an idea. It was a bit nerve wracking, yet liberating. I eventually went back to dying my hair, but makeup is a thing of that past. I am very very appreciative of non-scented deodarant now, I can tell ya that. The issue of how I looked paled in comparison to that particular test!Thank God I wasn’t out looking for a job or anything like that during that time. Baking soda is a poor substitute. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.Great post as always.

    1. Not only am I allergic to most makeup, but I honestly just don’t have much time to fiddle with it. Not that I don’t wear it sometimes. I will put on lipgloss and concealor most days. I guess I have mixed feelings on the whole thing. Some days I’d love to not bother with anything, not even brushing my hair but I don’t want to scare the kids. As for hair color, I’ve dyed my hair most of my entire life and I think of all the chemicals I’ve been exposed to (makeup has tons of them too!) I am finally slowly back to my normal hair color. I don’t know if I’ll stick with it once it goes grayer though. I’d like to think I’d embrace the grays.

      1. I really really tried to embrace the grays, but i guess i wasn’t ready, but then I am entirely gray, not just streaked. But I agree about all the chemicals. it’s quite shocking how we willingly bathe ourselves in chemicals each and everyday. Since my trial i have lowered my chemical use to the bare min.

  5. Bravo! Nicely put. That’s why I have that section of my blog called Shine. Let your light shine through.

    I really have nothing more to add because I couldn’t have said it better myself.

  6. Sometimes I wish I cared more about my appearance. No wait. I mean my family and friends wish I cared more about my appearance.

    Poor Rob, once I hooked him, I stopped primping. (Then again, we were on the boat and wake-boarding all the time, so the ‘wet rat’ look was normal.) Still, when I did wear make-up, I never, ever, ever liked the fact that when I washed the make-up off my face at the end of the day I looked different.

    I should probably care more about my looks. Nah. I’m fine. I mean, at least I have started putting on make-up when I know cameras will be present. (smile)

  7. We hold these truths to be self-evident.


    Advertising is a bitch. Just like Hitler, advertisers understand that if you repeat something over and over, people will eventually believe it. That’s why women are wearing stillettoes designed to kill us – again. That’s why we dress like sluts. It’s why we become our numbers. I threw out my scale 10 years ago. I try to figure people out by their actions. And their words these days. You’re a good one, Darla.

  8. That’s soooo true…yet…I am constantly convinced that if I just had the right beauty product I could look like the ‘after’ photos of the stars, instead of the ‘before’.

  9. Oh, the woes of aging! I’m afraid I wear little makeup these days, not because I’m allergic, and certainly not because I don’t need it. I’m just too damn lazy! I know that doesn’t bode well for my future modeling, unless it’s casket couture. Really great post!

  10. I live in a state where appearance is important, I could care less if I made an effort so days I do remember make-up (at 55 those dark circles begin to be scary). I like coloring my hair, purple, pink and other strange colors not intended for hair. Lipstick is fun, sometimes. I like manicures and pedicures, not for any other reason than I like them.

    The world is odd. Women are forced into strange corners for our looks, our weight but never our intellect the one number that should count for something.

    Wonderfully done as always.

    1. The whole thing is odd, well put, Val. I don’t want to care about my looks, yet I do. I know my intellect and my heart and soul are what matters most. I want my daughter to realize that as well. Still, I find myself buying her nail polish or pretty dresses. I guess I need to find a balance. I certainly don’t condemn women who want to look good, I just wish society didn’t only put emphasis on this because the rest of us feel like we don’t measure up.

      1. I believe there is a continuum of desire to look appealing…from having given up completely to having given up your life to achieve the desired effect. Sort of like a spectrum of People Magazine’s Most Beautiful People to the People of Walmart. I live happily somewhere in the middle. I can’t think of any part of my life I would give up for a more demanding beauty routine (well, maybe housework).

      2. I think I hit the middle ground when life forced me to. Then I had to reassess what was important. It took a very long time, then one day the light went off over my head. There are days I wish I fit the mold, it would make life so much easier. There are days when I understand, I won’t (ever); I have learned to accept that. I also wish we could teach our your girls to find balance, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be pretty, with nail polish and pretty dresses so long as it doesn’t take us over.

  11. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! And I mean you and the post.

    But why did I get no notice of this post? Or the one from a couple of days ago? WordPress, what are you doing to MEEEEE!!!!!

  12. Hi,
    A great post, and so true. I think we all are in the same situation when we look in the mirror as we get older, I find it is best to avoid this practise. 😀
    I don’t wear as much makeup now as I used to when I was younger, I do put makeup on to go out of course, but not much unless I’m going somewhere special.

    1. I think that’s a good idea, Mags. I’m finding I avoid the mirror more and more. It doesn’t take me very long to get ready in the morning anymore either. I just brush my hair, teeth, take a quick look and off I go. There isn’t enough time in the day now to worry so much!

  13. A-MEN! (A-WOMAN?) Why is it SO hard to remember that these are just shells we shed in the end? Even if you don’t believe in any sort of afterlife, a body is just a body. I’m so glad you’re learning to embrace the real you. Your blog buddies know that person, I’d say, and we love you! (I guess that’s another awesome thing about blogging – our shell is our template and we can change that any time, LOL)

  14. Beautifully put. This post is absolutely perfect and poignant. Every woman struggles with these issues and it’s important to remember that it’s the true self that needs to be beautiful.

    I have known many gorgeous women that were dark and ugly inside, and they truly became hideous to me, while friends who were not otherwise physically beautiful, shined with a glow of beauty because of their inner light and goodness.

    Most everyone I’ve “met” whilst blogging has no clue what I look like. I like to think I have made some very real friends, who love me for me without ever having seen my face. And I feel the same about others I have never seen as well.

    I don’t dye my grey, but I style it in such a way to try to hide most of it. I blowdry, style and spray my hair and wear makeup every day for work because I have to be professional and presentable. When I am home or on the weekends, I throw a hat on and use minimal makeup, but can’t forego it entirely. The bags and bad skin is just too bad now.

    1. That’s how I feel, too. Once I get back into the work force, I will most likely start wearing more makeup. Well, I will at least drag a brush through my hair. Don’t want to scare anyone.

  15. People don’t want to take me seriously because of my good looks and they insist what’s on the inside is more important. They fail to understand I may be handsome on the outside, but I’m even more handsome on the inside.

    1. It’s scary just looking in the mirror in the morning for me. I am normally bare faced most days though as I mainly drive my kids around and don’t have to be at work. Once I’m working, it’ll be scary to wear makeup again probably.

  16. Right on, sister! This is great, and beautifully said. I live in NYC, where technically you shouldn’t leave the house unless you’re wearing makeup, have your hair done and are wearing a chic black ensemble. I’ve gotten lazier about putting on makeup as I’ve gotten older, but it really is amazing how people react when they notice a change in your cosmetic appearance one way or the other. For instance, if I don’t put on lipstick, I can guarantee that someone I work with will say “Are you okay? You look really tired.” It’s sad/comical that people think me without lipstick=tired looking or ill.

    1. It is so true. If someone is used to seeing you a certain way, if you change something, like lipstick people don’t even recognize you. In my case, it’s when I WEAR makeup that freaks people out. “whoa! you look GOOD!” and I’m thinking, “sheesh, how bad did I look before?” The world would be a better place if we all just agreed to never wear makeup again.

  17. Perfect post, Darla. I haven’t worn makeup or dyed my hair in over a decade now, save for lip balm (not even gloss) and the occasional swipe of mascara if I’m going to a swanky ball or something. I actually find the non-made-up look to be much more refreshing and attractive overall– too much makeup and/or perfume makes me suspect that the wearer feels they have a lot to hide. 😦

    That said, I still (blast it all!) end up reducing myself to whatever number happens to be on my scale. Intellectually, I know that size doesn’t matter and that beauty is on the inside, blah blah blah, but my heart sinks and my soul shrivels up a little bit every time that cold-hearted scale number is higher than what I think it “should” be. What the hell?

    I think it’s all a process, though. It took my junior high self a lot of time to adjust to the idea of not applying raccoon eyeliner and that terrible Ex-cla-ma-tion! perfume every day (gag!), and it will probably take my 30-something self a lot of time to feel 100% comfortable in my skin, too. I’m usually about 85 or 90% comfortable, but every now and then I take a nose dive into the D+ range.

    1. Wow, you said it all perfectly, Dana. That is exactly how I feel when I step on the damn scale. I know it’s ridiculous but yet I still do it. I’m thinking I should start hiding it again and try not to even bother knowing what I weigh as much anymore. It will be a long process before I just don’t care at all but hopefully I’ll get to that point.

      And the makeup thing–I wore TONS of it in junior high and high school. I don’t think I weaned off it until I had kids and just didn’t have the time to bother.

      1. My problem is that even if I hid my scale, I’d *still* know my approximate weight by the way my clothes fit. I have a pretty narrow window when it comes to clothes fitting and clothes creating a terrible sausage-casing effect on my body. 😦 Maybe I should just invest in some muu-muus and call it a day!

      2. Muumuus are super comfy and versatile!
        I know I have to watch what I eat and exercise more when my pants become so tight I can’t breathe. It’s either I’m getting bigger or the damn dryer is shrinking everything again.

    1. If they made a chocolate mask, I’d buy it. And eat it before a single drop touched my face.

      (aw, you said ‘lovely’! have you ever said lovely on my blog before? thanks, Angie!)

  18. I have good news and bad news. The good news is every single human being starts to lose their eyesight at around age 49 -ish so in 8 years absolutely no need for make-up as long as you are hanging out with people your own age (my husband is six years older than me and I know I’m just one big beautiful blur as far as he is concerned). The bad news is we can’t just accept our bodies if they are fat and unhealthy because well, you need your body to get around the planet (I watched two hours of The Weight of the Nation last night so now I’m scared silly about obeasity).

    1. What the–? I typed out a long response to you days ago and it’s not here?

      I agree. We shouldn’t accept our bodies if they are not healthy. But as long as we’re not unhealthy and/or obese, we should accept our bodies for what they are and be thankful for them. The problem is, we still don’t. I am at a ‘typical’ weight for my height. I’m not overweight. Yet, I still put my body down…mostly the bags, sags, etc that come with having kids or growing older. And why do I insist on being negative about it at all? My inner dialogue is never kind. I obsess over a stupid number on the scale. It’s a waste of time for me. I’m sick of it. I want to be positive about my body. Life is too short to get wrapped up in it. I think there are lots of women out there who feel the same.

  19. You know, Darla, this post just has me wondering when the whole make-up, dress-up, presto-changeo stuff became the “norm” if you are a woman, ya know? When and why did it all scew this way? Anyhow, that’s my curious little mind for you. But, without the wondering, for me, It’s not the emphasis of who I am. I wear little make-up and worry little about how I look these days. As for Maycee, I will continue to make sure she knows she’s beautiful just as she is-that’s what’s important!

    1. I wonder about that too. I remember reading about the history of makeup. Something about in ancient times…like in Egypt, women would put berry stains on their lips to look more enticing to a male. Or something. It’s basically all about sex I guess. And at my age, why bother??

      I absolutely agree we need to make sure our daughters realize their value has nothing to do with their looks. It will be a hard thing to get across unfortunately. I think boys and men feel that pressure sometimes, too–just not as nearly as much as a girl or woman.

  20. I missed this post, too, Darla. This is the one that needed to be Fresh Pressed!

    When I was young and of course, gorgeous, I wore no makeup, didn’t care what I wore. Now, at 55.5, well, I wear makeup most days because when I look in the mirror without it, I look like hell. Years ago, not liking long, gray hair, I gave my husband a choice — short and gray or long and colored. He chose long. So I color.

    But mostly it’s for me — to improve what I’m looking at so that I like it. It’s not much different than when I was 20. Well, except that I looked way better then.

    1. I wish a post like this would’ve been FP, too. It would make for some interesting comments and discussion.

      I hear you–I’m almost 42 and I feel the need to at least wear concealor and foundations most days to cover up the dark circles and horrible acne (why do we get zits in middle age? it’s just cruel!) My hair is going gray right in the front and I have this sinking feeling I’ll start coloring it again as much as I tell people I don’t care what i look like. This is the issue I have–I’m torn between not wanting to give a shit, then giving a shit. Sigh.

          1. Yes, between all the loud snap, crackles and pops AND my constant groaning and moaning, people sure do know when I’m comin’, they can hear me before they see me.

      1. Amen, sister! I currently have three zits (and they always are front and center…like right on my nose or my chin, what is UP with that?) and I’ve had two hot flashes and one whopper of a migraine this week. Getting old sucks.

  21. A-frickin’-men. Love this post! I’m one of those that rarely wears make-up, too. I hate the stuff. Makes my face feel like it’s suffocating. Bleah. But it does look nice, I suppose. So I wear it mostly on special occasions or when I feel like being a girlie girl (and since I’m such a manly-woman, me dressing up and donning the makeup is almost like me being in drag, lol, because it’s so foreign to me!).

    1. God, I’m glad you said you hate makeup because to be honest, I do too. I hate putting it on. I suppose it’s because I have no freaking clue how to apply makeup in the first place. I kinda just slap it on like I’m spackling a wall in prep for painting.

      1. LOL. You know what’s ironic? In most other species of animal, it is the MALE that dons the pretty plumage and bright colors to attract a mate. And yet, for we humans, we’ve got it bass-ackward.

        When I was a teen, I wore lots of make up and figured out what all looked best and everything, but I hated having to put it on. I felt like it was a giant conspiracy against women. As I got older my skin started having “troubles” (started to get rashes from the different products/foundations, and I tried several)–I found that my skin looked much nicer without the gunk on my face and the rashes that went with it. That was all the excuse my inner feminist voice needed to completely tromp any “but I should because everybody else does” type of rationalization. My inner feminist squashed that and said I should only wear makeup when I FEEL like it, not because it’s some sort of women’s job, lol.

        So I’ve been mostly makeup free for 15 years. I figured it out. That’s approximately 1368.75 hours of my life that I’ve gotten to use for other things, assuming I spent approximately 15 minutes a day putting the damn stuff on (oh, and that 15 minutes also included me brushing my hair and putting it in a pony tail or bun). That’s 57.03125 DAYS. I feel sorry for those women who have a “morning routine” that takes them an hour or more. I’ve met plenty of women who do. For them, over a 15 year period, they would have dedicated 228.125 DAYS of their lives doing their “morning routine”. Bleah.

        Depressing, isn’t it?

      2. Yeah, it’s really too bad the males don’t have to put up with this crap. Although I think some of them do have a little bit of a morning routine.

        You’ve made me feel better about not putting on so much makeup or taking too much time to get ready. Also, think of all the chemicals! I got enough of that when I used to use hairspray every day in high school.

  22. My kids broke my scale by hopping up and down on it. Actually, it’s the second scale they’ve broken. It’s just starting to bother me. I keep telling myself that the numbers don’t matter as long as I fit in my jeans, but ARGH… It’s hard to really live out that statement.

    And my older sister has no white hairs… and also no kids. I mention this solely because she loves to mention this.

    1. If only my kids would break my scale.

      I shouldn’t complain about my gray hairs. My husband is almost all gray now. After each kid, bam! more grays. And more wrinkles. And less brain cells. So I guess it all works out, we end up looking old but we don’t really have the brainpower to care much.

  23. Really nice post, and something that most of us learn about beauty, I hope. Kindness, compassion, respect, love — yeah.
    One reason my husband and I like watching British television is that the people who are supposed to be ordinary people look like ordinary people — even down-right ugly, without being made to be a villian. There are those British beauties, of course — is it wrong of a happily-married woman to want to run her hand down the world-class chest of Jason Isaacs?

    1. Thanks, Barbara. I suppose TV shows are getting a bit better at depicting ‘real’ people (I always think of Roseanne, one of my faves) But mostly people gravatate toward people like the Kardashian sisters and why? I can’t think of one reason other than their looks.

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