Dear Fellow Bloggers: It’s Not You, It’s Me

…actually…it’s probably more you than me.

No, I’m kidding. It’s both of us.

Y’know what? I think I’ll just blame the computer.

Right before I smash the hell out of it.

There. I feel a little better now.

I’m just a wee bit frustrated because some of your blogs aren’t showing up in my WordPress feed at all. Days, even an entire week could go by and I get nothing from you.

I think, Oh no! did something horrible happen to _____? Good lord, I haven’t seen a post from ______in so long, are they injured? Ill? In a coma? Trapped under heavy furniture? Kidnapped by aliens? Trapped under heavy aliens?

Or (even worse) did they stop blogging and not inform me about it?

But no. None of those things. As a matter of fact ______ is alive and kicking and blogging up a post-shitstorm.Writing brilliantly funny or touching posts left and right.

I just don’t know about it because my fricking-fracking reader is frucking fried.

Then, suddenly, my reader catches up, your blog starts to reappear and now I have all these past posts to read. Which you’d think would be a good thing–except that for some odd reason, my husband isn’t very happy when I’m in bed late at night, glasses on, iPad on my lap and I put my hand up and say, “Shh..not tonight, honey. I’ve got to read 352 blog posts.”

In an act of sheer desperation, I decided to do the unthinkable: I followed myself. For purely WordPress reader test purposes, of course. Ahem. My test failed. I didn’t show up on my reader.  It’s pretty sad when you can’t even convince yourself to read your own blog posts, but even sadder when you can’t find yourself and notify yourself that you just posted a post about yourself.

So I’m going to extreme measures to keep up with all of you. I have decided to do things the old fashioned way. I click on your link in my blogroll or click on your comments to track you down. Click, click, clickity-click. This means you have to leave me a comment from time to time or I will never find you again. I don’t have ESP and can’t imagine what you’re thinking or when you’re about to post…unless WordPress has already come up with an app for that or a new-blog-post tracking microchip we can implant into our brain. (god, wouldn’t that be great?)

Thankfully, all of us seem to frequent some of the same blogs. We’re all floating around in this weird WordPress matrix where I can simply plummet down the rabbit hole to find someone by either swallowing the red pill instead of the blue pill like Morpheus tells me to do– or by going to someone’s blog and then clicking on their blogroll because we’re all only separated by six degrees of Kevin Bacon except substitute Kevin Bacon for Pegoleg or B-Man or GG. And if I want chocolate covered bacon, I go see Jules.

Choose wisely, my friend. Or you may never find my blog again.

But for someone who has poor eyesight, a short attention span, the beginnings of arthritis and bad hand-eye coordination skills on her iPad–this can be very time-consuming. And it makes my brain hurt even more than usual.

But I will do it. I will do it because I love you all.

(Ok, love is a strong word.)

Well, let’s just say that I can’t deny the fact that I like you!  I really like you!

Yes, you too, Sally Field [rolling eyes] Jeezum crow, get a life, woman!

Just know that if you don’t ‘see’ me around, I am around and probably blogging while trapped under heavy furniture, (or more likely, I picked the wrong pill and accidently took a Nyquil–damn you, Morpheus!) Maybe you’re missing out on all the Maineiacal craziness because your reader is fried too. And for that, I am sorry. I did just change my domain name so that might have something to do with it.

Unless you’re purposefully trying to avoid me because: you have better things to do like work, pay the bills, eat, sleep OR you don’t like my blog and frankly, never really cared for it, but you don’t want to unsubscribe because you’ll be consumed by horrible guilt OR you’re not really a human being but a robot.
(quite possibly, you’re all of the above)

In any case, I miss you. My wordpress reader misses you.

Stay in touch, okay? sniff…sniff….

In the meantime, any of my fellow bloggers wanna join me in a friendly game of ‘pulverize-your-computer’?

142 thoughts on “Dear Fellow Bloggers: It’s Not You, It’s Me

      1. Maineiac, had to let you know that “Kindergarten Daze” is exactly how I stumbled onto you! I was searching for a title for my Eris Ferris series and when I checked this out, I found you. Kinda’ scary!

  1. Running from Hell with El

    Pulverizing? I’m in!! No . . . wait . . . the WordPress Matrix has caught me . . . aiiiieeee! Renee?!! Come help me write a blurb!! Hehehe . . . I’m still getting your blogs darling and very much enjoying them. Now, I am thinking of that scene from Office Space–when they take out the copier (it is the copier right?)!!

  2. I’m with you sista! I have also been fairly “out of the loop” but can’t blame my reader — I blame two little ones under the age of four. 😉

  3. Mindy Bowman

    Love it! Thanks for the laugh…and please don’t smash your computer! I don’t want to have to go and find another blogger from Maine who says things like jeezum crow and is funny as all get out!

      1. LOL…No, I say Jeez O Pete! (Thanks to my husband!) But I don’t think I have that in any of my posts…. I’m going to start putting it in there though, now! No link??? Weird! I’m going to have to check that out. Here is the address: newequus. wordpress. com

  4. I think there should be a rule that computers and website apps should automatically do everything I yell at them to do. I”m hoarse from trying to convince them.

    1. Darla, you didn’t show up in my feed, but you came in my email. I think it happens when you unsubcribe from the “notify by email” to followups on comments. Occassionally my mailbox gets so crammed that I unsubscribe to a paticular post’s comments, because as much as I want to keep up I don’t have the life expectancy left to go through that many messages in my inbox. I prefer going back to the post and checking the commetns all at once. this is much more enjoyable.

      1. Oh, yeah. I have learned my lesson with the email box exploding with notifications. We only have the one email so let’s just say, it kinda ticks off my husband.

        So I completely stopped getting emails from WP, the only notification I get is if someone subscribes to my blog so I can jump up and down and do the happy-happy-joy-joy dance.

      2. You won’t unsubscribe from a person’s blog if you unscubscribe from “notify by email” for comments
        WP added an unsubscribe from comments button so you won’t get any emails from comments you make on other’s blogs. It is in your settings. My email is comment notification free now! Woohoo! Use this link to fix it!
        Darla are you using the timestamp feature because that mucks up the time it posts since there is a delay in the time zone. I subscribe to myself to make sure it posts. When I used Livewriter it would post to the day before so it wasn’t seen in the reader. Good luck!

        1. Good news about the comment thing. Bad news about the timestamp feature–I had no idea about this. Will have to check into it once I figure out what time zone I am in or what time it is.

          1. I have no idea! do I??? I am soooooo clueless. It doesn’t help that my allergies are so bad my eyes are practically swollen shut and I can’t see the computer screen and my kids are currently throwing a tennis ball at my head. But yes, timestamp. What is it, Susie? where do I find this thing?

          2. Don’t touch the timestamp! It is good that you don’t know anything about it. I am sorry about your allergies.
            I checked and you are in the Reader. It says you blogged 13 hours ago. No problem!

          3. I just checked my own reader of blogs I follow and you are not there so I am going to unfollow and follow like your friend suggested and see what happens!

    1. God, wouldn’t that feel great? Just smashing the hell out of your computer? Course, then I’d go into instant withdrawals from no more blogging and they’d have to put me in a straight jacket. But the smashing thing would be pretty kick-ass if only for a moment.

      1. Your post did not show up in my feed, again. I am heartsick about this – I have been sobbing all afternoon. Between that and a router that selectively provides wireless service – I am about ready to chuck this laptop, use the router for target practice (don’t worry – they don’t let me carry a gun) and go back to writing out my thoughts with a chewed-on pencil.

  5. I receive an email whenever you post, so I can keep up with you. I also get emails when someone comments on your blog after I comment. You get a LOT of comments, Darla. Especially when you are Freshly Pressed. Last week I had 120 emails and 118 of them were follow up comments on your blog. Congratulations!

    1. Thanks, Susan. And I’m sorry. Yikes. I wanted to moderate my comments on the FP thing and my email filled up and drove my husband to almost divorce me. So no more email notifications of anything related to blogging for me.

      1. I’m delighted for you that you have some many followers. People enjoy your writing and want to respond to you. That’s a good problem to have, at least as long as it doesn’t cause on the homefront.

        1. Exactly! I love blogging, reading other blogs but it does get time consuming. My husband is good about it, really.

          And I am so appreciative of every one who stops by and takes a moment to comment or ‘like’ and am very grateful for WordPress. I really shouldn’t bitch too much about it, it’s opened up a whole world of meeting other incredible people and bloggers, can’t ask for more than that.

  6. Here’s what I did to remedy the situation, if it helps.

    1) Follow your own blog. (I see you did this. Good.) You can check the way both your email looks (and make changes in the future accordingly) and how yours looks in the reader.

    2.1) Create an email filter so that anything coming from WP goes to a specific folder (this is really important for when one of your followed blog comments goes freshly pressed…yikes!). You can further sort these mails by subject line. Easier “read.” Email filters are frackin’ awesome. I love to compartmentalize.

    2.2) Following 2.1, edit the Blogs I Follow in the WordPress machine to be either “immediately” for blogs I love (and trust not to implode my inbox with 8 posts a day) and “weekly” for blogs I kinda love.

    2.3) If blogs still don’t show up in your reader (though you’re getting email notification), it may be that they’ve changed their address recently and you didn’t get the memo. Simply Un-follow and then Re-follow to fix this problem. Hasn’t failed me yet.

    3) Use the WordPress Reader only occasionally. I can get more than a week behind which means a very looooong read! When I’m that behind, it’s easier to read bits of posts in my inbox first and decide whether it’s worth more of my time (i.e. a click directly to the blog).

    Hope it helps. It has certainly improved my blog-a-bility where I can still live my normal, hectic, kid-noisy life and still somewhat keep up with my blog other-life.

    1. Thank you for the tips on email. I had no idea I could filter them. I currently don’t get any emails from WP. Maybe I will try it now and just do the steps you mentioned. If only I could find a full time job that pays me to do all of this.

      1. What? I’ll do it. I’ll clean it with vinegar. I’ll fetch you your coffee, donuts, do your dry cleaning, sort your fan mail…There is big money in this blogging thing and I intend to ride your coattails for as long as it takes.

        1. I just heard Jack Black say in an NPR interview that he was less like riding his friend’s coattails and more like a little dog humping his leg.

          Sorry, I couldn’t help but share that. I know that’s not what you meant and I know that you’ll never say to me “ride your coattails” ever again.

          1. Now this isn’t fair. I am still trying to recover from the William Taft stuck in a tub line and now THIS? Have you no shame? Are you trying to kill me slowly with these zingers? I am hyperventilating. Now I’ve got a dog humping Jack Black’s leg? Oh, the humanity!!!

      2. Well, thank you. It’s nice to see the words “brilliant” and “Shannon” in the same sentence. I should frame it and hang it somewhere.

        I’m sorry…am I supposed to CLEAN the coffee pot? I don’t think I’ve ever done that. Ever. Maybe that’s why my coffee always tastes bad.

      3. WHOA! That comment made me tired. It says I posted it at 3:12a only it’s 10:13p where I sit. Perhaps that eclipse did something to the space-time continuum. Sheesh, I never get the memo.

  7. Oh Darlineator, I TOO am afflicted with no Maineiac in my Reader list. I followed you over from a comment elsewhere – thank you for leaving a trail of breadcrumbs. It’s as if WordPRess is telling me “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.” which I never understood, but when Beyonce shakes her fab body everybody, men and women, are mesmerized and don’t really care that what’s she’s singing makes absolutely no sense.

    And while we’re complaining about what WP is doing to you, can you get them to expand this comment box? If I type a comment more than 4 lines, the part I’m typing keeps flashing in and out of view like a strobe light. I risk a seizure if I’m wordy, Which I usually am.

    1. This post was prompted because Lenore, you, Jules and Katy all said you didn’t know I had posted my last two posts and God knows, it KILLS me, just eats me up inside to think that someone out there might not be reading the crap I spout on a daily basis.

      And if I’m reading your comment correctly, I think what you’re saying is that I am Beyonce’s jelly? First of all, ew. Second of all, what?! Third of all, I make no sense but you are mesmerized anyway?

      Good. My evil plan to take over the WordPress world is working. mwha ha hahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    1. Reminds me of that song…”don’t don’t don’t you…forget about me…as you walk on by…la la la laaaaaaaaa”

      How could I forget the post you just wrote about your sex life? That kinda thing tends to stick in your mind.

  8. Hmmmm–am I showing up? I post every Monday and Thursday–not that you should necessarily remember that. However, I think you may be liking me but not commenting–so maybe I am appearing in your feed.

    1. I love it when bloggers pick specific days to post because then I just track you down that way. If only I could remember what day it is.

      I didn’t really ‘like’ your last post with your new book in progress. I loved it! The feedback you got was spot on.

      1. Spam? What’s spam? Never heard of it. Hey, has Ricardo made any comments on your blog? He leaves comments for me all the time – in Spanish. I think he uses Viagra.

  9. I think it is WordPress, I am having similar strange problems. Bloggers I have followed and who follow me suddenly showing up in my Spam and I suspect me showing up in theirs. My comments suddenly requiring moderation on Blogs I have followed for months (or maybe they just decided I needed to be moderated again). I just decided to go with the flow.

    1. I think that’s good advice. Just go with it. I’m trying to adopt a new zen attitude about this whole thing. Gotta remember to just have fun with it and not drive myself up the wall. It’s just a blog after all.

    1. Ha!

      Wait a minute, I think I am too. We all are! Right now we’re all sleeping in some weird alien pods being fed through a tube while our alien overlords make us blog and blog until we die! It all makes sense now.

  10. singleworkingmomswm

    Agh, I’ve had this happen to me, too! Now you’ve got me wondering about my other bloggin buddies whom I haven’t seen in weeks! I best go click on my blogroll and see if they’ve been hiding, smashed, or just deleted from showing up in my in-box. Luckily, Darla, this is not the case for your blog. I get them all, yay!

  11. lol… I wish I were a cartoonist. The line about u in bed with your laptop saying “not tonite…. ” the imagery is so vivid, its just begging to be penned. maybe because that happens somewhere closer home a lot !! (if you know what I mean). Practical concerns, I get notified on e mail, so i know when all my friends have written. And i did the unthinkable. After 14 years of sharing a bed and an e mail account, I went and created my own personal account specially for my blogging friends. (There is peace and quiet at home, once again) 🙂 Try it! Its awesome. Its like owning your own flat or something! No one to question you about the no. of unattended visitors (read mails!), too much clutter, etc. etc. blissful!

    1. I am really wanting to create my own email and have it directly for this blog, that is a GREAT idea! My husband would be very happy if the email box was uncluttered with blogging stuff.

  12. Darla, This post also did not show up in my reader. I am now going to unsubscribe you & then resubscribe. I hope it will fix the problem.
    I hope now we have to depend more on our blogroll rather than these WordPress programmers, who use their intelligence in creating something for us, which is of no use. 🙂

  13. Hi! Waving! I’m here! I too subscribed to my own blog after having an entry or two not go out to my masses of followers (snicker). For most blogs I am subscribed to, I get an e-mail, and that works for me. Probably because I’m only subscribed to about 5 blogs. Oh, you just reminded me that I have 3 new drafts that I need to get going on and get published. Gotta run!

  14. Hi,
    You are not the only one having problems with the reader, there are a heap of complaints in the WP forums about the reader (feed), the tags,the stats, you name it, things are not working right for a lot of people. Here is the link to that particular WP forum:

    I don’t use the WP feed, I use the RSS feed for the blogs, I find this much easier all round, but of course this depends on the browser you are using as well. I hope the WP feed gets sorted out for everyone.

    1. Thanks so much for that link, Mags. I guess this is a common problem. I did just resubscribe to a few people and it actually worked, now their posts are in my feed again. Hopefully that will be all it takes.

  15. I have ongoing problems like that. Most of the time (but not all), I can either unsubscribe/resubscribe or simply subscribe. But to complicate things, it always takes me awhile to even realize that I’m not getting posts from people. And here’s a new one: I now don’t get the Freshly Pressed page when I go onto WordPress. All I get is a little icon that keeps spinning around.

    1. Yes, it takes me time to even realize my reader isn’t working and to keep track of everyone. And now you’re having problems with the FP page? What will happen next is you’ll be FP and not even realize it.

  16. The good news… the comment issue has been fixed. I was dreading checking my e-mail and relieved to find I didn’t have to delete 25 comments at a time. But I did ‘find’ this post in my e-mail because you aren’t appearing in my reader…I was just thinkin’, “Where’s Darla?” and it turns out you were thinkin’ what I was thinkin’. So if your subscriptions drop by one (do you notice?), that might be me unsubscribing, then coming back in a day to re-subscribe…maybe that will fix it.

  17. I secretly hope this same thing happens to my blog reader since I have such a love-hate relationship with it. I’m already thinking of going a more manic route than you took and simply create desktop shortcuts of all the blogs I follow and that follow me. Then every day I’ll make my way through them mess of icons. Yep, that’s the plan.

    Until then, hope to see you on the flipside — if you’re not trapped under heavy aliens that is. (Wow, they’re just like us and getting heavier, eh?)

    1. Ahem. There’s a way to do that too, without emails or creating a mess of icons. (Hint: WordPress has a little jewel OTHER than the blog reader for this task.)

    2. Go to WP -> Reader -> Blogs I Follow as usual. Once there, click on the “Edit List” link to the left. To make it easy on myself, only a third of my list is set to “Instant” (we follow each other, for instance). Everyone else is set to weekly.

      I start with the bottom of the list (the blogs I follow longest), Instant clan, right-click their blog (to open in another window), read directly from their posts (they get a hit this-a-way!), click Like (sometime I don’t), comment (sometimes I don’t), then simply Alt-F4 (close) the window when I’m done. Repeat for every “Instant” until I make it to the top. Half an hour or so.

      If I have more time, I’ll work my way up on the “Weekly” ones as well, though I’m more likely to just wait for the one email, and click from within my inbox.

      Sifting through the posts and comments in my Inbox (see above for how I deal with email), I know what I’ve read and what I haven’t, then it’s just a matter of deleting each one. Quick and easy.

      Alas, those bloggers who have particularly long posts (more than 1,000 words or lots of photos, worse if they have BOTH) are the last to get my attention, if at all. I have a life outside of blogging (really? I do?), and I keep that in mind when I put out my own posts (don’t want to lose my followers).

      So far so good…

    3. Now how is it that you love me for my tips but not-so-much my zombie ant? Just can’t please people all of the time. Warning: snake post coming now…

  18. I get you. I really get you. Via e-mail. Keep those blogs and posts coming. What I am trying to do is limit some aggressive spammers who keep trying to find unique ways into my blog. Don’t know if anyone else has that problem. Akismet (the spam filter) has been excellent, but the trolls are relentless.

  19. Hey there. I posted today. If you didn’t get it in your reader, just click my name up there to go see it. Ok, then? (Gah, I feel like such a blogwhore, now. Damn you, WordPress. Look what you’ve done to me! Reduced to begging for visits).

    I’m being told by one of my followers that they cannot comment on my site today. They have tried THREE different email addresses and nada. I think WordPress is just being stupid WordPress again. Hopefully they will work out the kinks AGAIN on whatever newfangled update/thing they are trying and all of us can get back to our normal blogging selves. Sigh.

      1. I was very close to setting this post to that song, too. “Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta….” I’ve only seen that movie a billion times and found out recently my husband had never seen it. I thought it was required by law.

        1. It IS!! It is a law. And I’m a lawyer, so I know the law! Tell him he is mandated to watch that movie immediately. Don’t make me call the po-po on his ass! 🙂

    1. I’ve only been blogging for a little over a year and a half and I have come to the conclusion that every single one of us is a blogwhore. I’m not ashamed at all. Which explains my entire post above begging people to put me back in their readers. Or at least visit me and leave a comment once in a while… I just wanna be loved, is that so wrong? (Jon Lovitz old SNL skit…)

      You are probably right, WP is just trying out some new things with the newfangled whozeewhazzits and the techno jibbajabbas and whatnots and it’s screwing everything up. I obviously know what I’m talking about.

  20. Happens to me sometimes too. Then suddenly I think, ‘How did I miss the post on PMS?’ or whatever it was that slipped by. Occassionally someone will send out a notice that they didn’t get my e-mail announcing a new post. Who knows! Maybe it’s the solar storms. We can blame it on them anyway.

  21. I kick it old school and receive notifications of new posts via e-mail. The upside to this is that I haven’t encountered this problem you speak of. The downside to this is that my inbox gets cluttered with 50 million e-mails every day. Also, I don’t know how to follow non-WP bloggers. Yes, I’m that lame. “Do you have a blog with Blogger or Typepad? Too bad for you– I can never follow you…”

  22. It gets more difficult all the time to keep up with the many great bloggers out there. The technology helps, but when it fails, we can find ourselves drowning in unread posts. Smashing the computer to bits does seem like the only reasonable solution.

  23. Well, D, as long as my blog is at the top of your list for checking, it really doesn’t matter. I know you check “mj monaghan” first thing in the morning and right before you go to bed, so you should be alright with mine. 😉

  24. I guess I’m fortunate to have no clue what a blog reader is??? I just click through my email. I’m working my way through 80 or 90 this morning in lieu of other fun stuff like cleaning the house for out of town guests and going to the grocery store and washing the bedding and arranging for a U-Haul truck to move my daughter to her new apartment and . . . Hmm, perhaps a blog reader is a procrastinator?

    1. You are lucky you don’t have a clue what it is. Mine seems to be working now that I’m resubscribing to the blogs that seem to have disappeared. Good luck with your daughter’s move!

  25. For starters – holy crap! You have 114 comments here!

    But yes, it does feel like a sad state of affairs when I basically have to write down blogs I follow on a notepad to keep track of them. And I’ve definitely done the ‘Uh oh, did _________ call it quits?”

  26. I’ve been thinking lately that the folks at WP must be super-bored. They’re finding more and more ways to just eff things up all over the place. Also new themes. Because we don’t have enough freaking themes. Jeebus.

    1. And with all those themes, why I can’t find at least one I really like? Why must the world be so cruel??

      I’m thinking of bringing my new posts to everyone via pony express. This is where we’re headed, I think. Everything comes full circle. Soon enough I’ll be scratching out my blog posts on the ground with a stick.

  27. Oh, Darla, I love you! So much that you don’t even need to be in my reader, because I’m a’comin’ for you!!! And bringing bacon-covered chocolate. We’ll get through this. I know it.

  28. That sucks! I had to laugh when you said, “Not tonight, honey, I’ve got to read 352 blog posts.” Um…yeah. I can totally relate, since I follow so many blogs, too. Good luck fixing the problem!

    1. I am relieved you know what I’m talking about. If I don’t keep up with all the reading, it’s almost impossible to catch up on everyone unless I decide to forego eating, sleeping, cleaning and sex.

  29. Thank god it isn’t just me, just left a comment on your most recent post about the lack of WordPress Reader notices. Been so busy at work I’ve not been catching up on blogs but did notice it had gone quite on the Maineiac front so I thought I’d check in. What is up with them?!?!

  30. Tar-Buns

    Um, since I don’t yet have a blog, I don’t know of these things you speak.
    But, I am going to try to subscribe again. I need a cool avatar. Learning…

    1. Yes, you must get a cool avatar. May I suggest you sitting on say…some random playground animal ride?

      And does this mean you are still thinking of getting a blog?? What are you waiting for? I bet it will be life-changing for you. Then Peg and I can post hijack on there, it’ll be a hoot. 😀

      1. I will do the same as others and attempt this “resubscribe” thingy. If it all goes pear shaped and this is actually a subtle attempt by the WordPress spooks to isolate me from other more sane individuals, I will you meet you back at Greatsby’s caption comp in disguise. I will be the one wearing the banana shaped cap.

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