Ode to My Old Man

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways

 I love your shaggy hair,
the gentle glimmer in your eyes

I love that your mom tried to dress you
just like Prince, only pint-size.


I love how your dimpled cheeks
frame the innocence of your smile,

I love that you once thought Boss Hogg
was actually considered in style.

I love how your sense of what’s ‘cool’ evolved,
My, look at how much you’ve grown!

I love that you went to your junior prom
thinking you were Al Capone.

 I love how you wore your jean jacket–
with the collar flipped up–so very hip

I love that you thought mere peach fuzz
could pass for a ‘stache on your upper lip.

And most of all, I love you for being you–my sweet, crazy, dorky partner for life.

♥Happy birthday!♥

PS For one full month I am still 41 and you aren’t anymore.

PPS:

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103 thoughts on “Ode to My Old Man

      1. I was so close to typing out ‘keepah’ but I thought maybe you guys are getting tired of my podunk Mainah accent…

        By the way, I am almost done with my LUST entry! And it’s pretty heavy on the lusty. Why…it’s lustalicious!

      1. Oh my gosh, second Bob Newhart reference on two different blogs in two days. I was just commenting about him on another blog yesterday. One of my personal fave comedians of all-time. So subtle … like me. hehehe

      2. Isn’t it weird when us bloggers all start making the same bizarre reference on several different blogs at the same time? I swear we’re all reading each others’ minds now. Bob Newhart has the same deadpan humor as me. And the same deadpan expressions. And we both look old and slightly annoyed all the time.

      1. Hm…well this week is “Humiliation Week” here at my blog. I should do a post completely about his embarrassing moments. That is genius! We have a ton from our early days of dating. I’ll post it tomorrow and see how long it takes for me to be served the divorce papers.

  1. Beautiful tribute to the man of your life, Darla. Thanks to this, we can see a beautiful poet in you.
    “Happy Birth Day to you, Sir. Have a great Day”- Can you please pass on this message to your husband Darla! 🙂

    1. I’ll be sure to–he is still in denial today is his birthday. I think once you start to hit your 40s, you’d kinda like to just pretend you’re not getting that much closer to 50.

  2. Ouch! Greater love hath no man, than to fall on a bloggy sword for his lady. Happy, happy day to the wind beneath your wings! (p.s. that little girl in the first picture is adorbs!)

    1. He is the greatest. He has to put up being married to me, for one. And if there’s one thing he and I have in common, it’s that we love to humiliate ourselves in public. We are getting quite good at it in our old age. I can’t wait to see what we do when we’re both 80.

    1. And I was very fortunate to have completely missed his ‘goatee’ stage he had in his 20s, right before he met me. If he ever tries to pull off a soul patch, I do believe that’s grounds for divorce.

  3. Darjeeling – Loved the pics and the poem, Hope Jimbo has a fantastic day, and that you all have a terrific celebration with him.

    Hey, I have a flipped up jean jacket pic like that somewhere. SO cool? … hmm.

          1. Alright, I’ll bust out an embarrassing story in the next couple of days. I just MIGHT have one … or two HUNDRED!

            BTW, that Toss Across picture is to. die. for. nostalgia!!!

      1. MJ, do you ever visit Angie Z’s blog, Childhood Relived? (I assume you have, I can’t keep track…) Anyway, that nostalgic pic ALMOST won one of her big contests. Almost. It was so sad.

  4. John Erickson says:

    Happy Birthday to the “old man”! You have the same birthday as Raquel? Why am I not surprised that two great beauties share the same birthday? 😉
    Yeah, the wife turned 50 in July, I go down the tubes (turn 50) in December, so we have a “July-December” romance. And I get to have fun annoying her about being the “older woman” for 5 months. Mind you, if the Mayans are right and the world ends, she goes into the “over 50” group, and I go in the “still in their 40s” group…..
    Come on, Mayans! 😀

    1. While I read your line about Raquel and me, I was thisclose to just letting you win the Maineiac contest. But then you added the winky/just kidding smiley face. [shaking head]

      I love how you refer to 50 as going down the tubes. I went down the tubes when I turned 40. Almost at the exact split second I turned 40– I had a billion new wrinkles, my hair turned gray in the front, my back gave out and I just wanted to lay down on the couch in my pink fuzzy bathrobe and slippers and watch Wheel of Fortune all day.

      C’mon Mayans!

      1. John Erickson says:

        Well, I meant the wink to imply I wasn’t REALLY flirting with you, as I have been accused of elsewhere. But, in the ongoing search to make you feel better, I spent my 40th birthday flat on my back, drugged to the gills, in the guest bedroom of our friends’ house that became our home after we left Illinois. So 50 is actually WAY uphill for me! And I started turning grey back in 1987, before I turned 25, and had a receding hairline prior to THAT!
        Besides, just like Raquel, I refuse to believe that you won’t look a complete knockout at 50, 60, OR 70 – you’ll STILL have guys walking into lampposts and trashcans (some stories from my life in Chicago – not me, but witnessed)!

      2. Well, 50 sounds infinitely better than 40 for you. I remember you talking about this before (my memory is sketchy at best) but thank goodness you are at a much better time in your life now. I’ve heard 50 is the new 40. (I think 40 is the new 50. But anyway…)

        Your comments about Raquel and having guys walk into lampposts had me rollin. Oh, you are waaaaay too kind there, John. I thank you for that compliment. I do believe you’ve made my day. No month. Hell–my year.

      3. John Erickson says:

        Actually, not unless that baby comes in extra-extra-EXTRA large! Here’s a true story – when I joined my British re-enacting unit, I had to find a helmet from the bunch our unit leader had. (Brit WW1/WW2 helmets came in multiple sizes, unlike the US “one size” routine.) I’m trying on helmet after helmet, and all of them just barely sit on the very top of my melon. Meantime, a couple of the guys are having a ball with a “mutant” helmet – a HUGE one – that they set on their heads and spin freely. I ask to try that one on, and everybody laughs. “No way your head’s THAT big! It’ll never fit!”
        Yep – like a bleedin’ GLOVE. It is the largest helmet I have ever seen at all the Militaria shows I have attended, and I still have it to this day.
        You know, just in case our house burns down and we need a steel roof over our heads…. 😀

      1. John Erickson says:

        Been there, done that – Columbus, Georgia, 1987. No big deal – didn’t even get any come-ons. That had to wait for the sci-fi con in Texas in 1988, which eventually led me to my future wife.
        Just tell him to shave his legs, or the hem of the skirt/dress won’t hang evenly….

    1. Haha! I love it. Aw, thank you. We are both losing any looks we had very quickly now. I don’t even want to look in the mirror most mornings anymore, it’s too startling. “I actually look like THAT?! AHHH!”

  5. Happy birthday to your hubz. Mine just had his birthday, too. I wish I had thought to use his childhood pictures…I must study at the feet of the Master of Humiliation.

    For six months of the year, I am “much younger” than my husband.

      1. He actually READS my blog, so I have to be careful.

        Oh, who am I kidding – he’s put up with my abuse for almost 33 years now – he’s pretty tough in that regard.

  6. Great post, Darla. Happy Birthday to him. All the cool guys were born in July, don’t cha know.

    If I posted my husband’s childhood photos I would be divorced within minutes. (I will keep that in mind should I ever decide I want one!) Your husband is a damn good sport!

    1. July is a smashing month for birthdays. It’s funny, the three closest men in my life are all Leos. My dad, my brother and my husband.

      He doesn’t care about me posting these, honestly. He is a good sport. And I told him only a few hundred people would even see it.

  7. Happy birthday, Darla’s Husband! The fact that he could even still look cute with a peach fuzz mustache says what a lucky woman you are, DarDar. I feel like I’ve known the Old Man longer than your other readers since I long ago got the pleasure of seeing him play (what I’ve since learned to be) Toss Across in a collar that could put someone’s eye out.

    Boss Hogg = Fantastic! If it were Enos or Rosco, I’d have to wonder what kind of guy you got stuck with there.

    Lovely post.

    1. That’s right, he tends to wear dangerous pointy collars, doesn’t he? Living on the edge. I added the Toss Across picture just to add a bit more embarrassment for him. Although, it was plastered all over your blog and you’ve got like a gazillion more followers than I do so he’d used to the public humiliation by now.

      Rosco P. Coltrane! yeeee-haw! Yeah, good thing it was Boss Hogg instead. Although his fondest wish is to one day own the most classic of t-shirts: Bob Ross painting Happy Trees.

  8. Hope your husband had a great birthday today…this post of yours sure had to help!
    Regarding the stunning Boss Hogg t-shirt…omg..clearly there’s one man way ahead of his time!
    ~d.

  9. I’m sure he will be ecstatic that you wrote a poem about him, Darla. Maybe now that he’s getting, uh, older, maybe he won’t be able to see the pictures you posted for the WHOLE WORLD to see! Happy Birthday, Mr. Maineiac.

  10. loved the pics. specially the first two, they kept me guessing boy/ girl/ boy / girl …… (glad you clarified in the end) . One note of complain though Darla, “Old man” come on the guy is just 41… that’s young (at least outside the blogosphere). Wishing Mr Maineiac a happy Birthday and countless years of styling and photographing . One can never have enough embarrassing photographs to see (as long as they are not one’s own) 🙂

    1. I had to make sure I could make out the handwriting on the back of the first picture, just in case it was of his sister instead. But nope, it’s him all right. I will be sure to tell him you don’t think he’s an old man, that should make his day.

  11. Tez says:

    Sorry, forgot to wish the “Husband of the Year” a happy birthday from Down Under (Perth, Western Australia). So glad you have a partner who has a sense of humour and is not hung up on old pictures. He deserves to be congratulated for being a good bloke, as we say in OZ 🙂

  12. Oh my what a lovely tribute to your Old Man. He’s a good looking fellow.
    Interesting aside – I not only also married a Leo my Mr F has the same birthday. 🙂

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