Friends was one of my all-time favorite shows. I loved it so much, it’s now my main go-to show I’ll watch in reruns– I’ve seen every episode countless times.
But there was a time I hated it. Yep, I was one of the few people who just didn’t see the glittering gem hiding in the hunk of crap that was the show’s first season. And oh, God, it was such a bad, bad season too. Just terrible. The clothes! The hairdos! The Rachel hairdo!
I hated the show so much, I refused to watch more than a few episodes and declared the show would soon tank in the ratings, never to be heard from again. I also thought the internet would never catch on.
Why I Hated Friends (in the Beginning):
1) The annoying theme song.
When I first heard it back in 1994, I think it wormed its way into my brain, shacked up in the frontal lobe, and set up camp–managing to destroy my love for all music forever.
” I’ll be there for youuuu….when my soul starts to scream. I’ll be there for youuuu….when my mind starts to bleed. I’ll be there for youuuu…stick this fork in my eye. I’ll be there for youuu…no I’m serious, do it now….”
2) Ross’s haircut. (see image below)
It was too shiny and looked hard, like a helmet. How much Dippity-Do did he use for God’s sake?
3) Ross’s monkey.
In the first season, I could not get past the fact that he had a monkey perched on his shoulder in every scene. I wish I could’ve been at the writers’ staff meeting when they came up with that genius idea. “Hey! Shouldn’t Ross have some kind of pet? I mean, we’ve got to distract people from his hair. Uh…like a cat! Yeah! No…a parrot? Hmm…no, you’re right…not bizarre enough…. Ooh! I’ve got it! A pet monkey named Marsel! And then hilarity will ensue!”
Thankfully he vanished sometime between season 1 and 2, probably after meeting an untimely death involving a runaway taxi cab or an accidental cappuccino overdose at Central Perk.
4) Phoebe’s Smelly Cat Song
Sure, the song is cute and annoying and pure Phoebe (whom I love dearly). It was funny the first time I heard it. But then they kept making her sing it. They even dragged in poor Chrissie Hynde to duet with her in one episode. Enough already. “it’s not your fauuuuult…” It IS your damn fault so please shut up with the bad singing and the guitar before I smash Marsal over the head with it. (I didn’t realize I had such rage about this until now, whew! Felt good to get that out and I’m sorry.)
5) The Rachel.
I hated this haircut then, I hate it now. Back then, it was everywhere. Everyone wanted to look like her. The more my friends gushed on and on about The Rachel and had their own hair cut like hers, the more I wanted to rip my own hair out of my head and just go bald and call it The Darla to spite them all. This haircut was probably the main reason I hated Friends in the early episodes.
6) Courtney Cox-Arquette-Now-Back-to-Cox-Again
In the early days, she still had the fresh-off-the-Bruce-Springsteen-stage look. Every time she entered a scene, I waited for her to suddenly break out into her lame hand-clapping, finger-snapping, foot-swishin’ moves to “Dancing in the Dark”. Sadly, she never did.
7) Monica’s boyfriend Richard
What was it about seeing Tom Selleck cozy up to Courtney Cox that made my skin crawl in that “he’s-old-enough-to-be-your-dad” way? Then he shaved off his moustache in a future episode. I don’ t know about you, but Magnum PI is no man with no ‘stache. His face looked like a newborn baby’s butt. All exposed and vulnerable. And dimply, way too dimply. It was just wrong, so very wrong.
8) The Gleeful Fountain Scene
Ah, yes. We get it. You guys are having fun. Whee! Let’s splash around! Yay! Oh, and now you’re all doing the Ahnold Schwarzenegger muscle flex move! Nice! And then you sit on a couch and turn off a lamp. How cute. Blech.
10) The Will They or Won’t They? Crap
Does Ross know Rachel likes him? Does Rachel know that Ross knows she knows?
Should we kiss now? No? How ’bout now? Uh…tell you what, I’ll meet you halfway and then whatever happens, happens? Okay…on the count of three…one…two…oh. Oops! Nope, you got my nose there. Let’s try again. OK, this time our lips WILL connect. Are you ready? Get ready, okay? Let’s do this! One…two…
It was like watching two old ladies fight over the last loaf of rye bread at the Buy N Bag. Painful and slow and very unattractive. I didn’t feel any of the potent sexual tension the 9999 times they almost kissed. When they finally did, it was the OoOOOOHHH! heard round the world while I was probably on the couch snoring.
Did you love Friends the first time you saw it? Did you like Seinfeld too? Because that’s another show I hated during the first season (and grew to love). Is there a popular TV show out there now that you just hate?