It’s a scientific fact that once you hit your 40s, time speeds up. Days go by in seconds, years are like minutes. Unless you start paying attention to the presidential race.
Not only does your concept of time change, but the signs of aging increase exponentially. Where once before, it might take a decade for a new, tiny wrinkle to emerge, now things move at breakneck speed. Is this due to extreme stress? Or is it just the natural order of things? You decide.
“Ahhh! GOD! What happened to your hair?”
“Huh? Oh, you mean this huge crop of white hair? That’s sticking right out in front in all directions, with the texture of a Brillo pad?” (Sips coffee.) “Well, our son told me yesterday he’s getting armpit hair and wants to start wearing cologne.”
“Mornin’, hon–oh, holy crap! Jesus!”
“You’re looking at the giant crease across my forehead aren’t you.”
“Why…no…I didn’t even notice it. Ha, ha. I have no idea what you’re talking about. You look fine! Perfectly normal! Beautiful even! It adds character!”
“Yeah, I got that little gift after our daughter told me yesterday she wants to marry Justin Bieber and have his babies. And she plans on living with all of them in an apartment above our garage until she’s 30. But it’s okay. I’m perfectly fine with the fact that there’s a ridge deeper than the Mariana Trench dividing my forehead into three places. Truly. So what if I look like my face is in a permanent state of scowling. Most likely that’s how I feel inside anyway, so it all works out.”
“Wow. And it’s so…deep. And it’s still there! No matter what expression you make! Now it’s getting even deeper!”
We love to point out how quickly people age. Apparently this indicates a person was under a severe amount of stress. Take for instance, our presidents.
George W. Bush, before and after his term:
Obama, before and after: (I have a sneaking suspicion these photos aren’t very accurate)
And the final proof.
This is me when I turned 40:
And this is me today:
But if I’m in the right light and use the correct makeup, you hardly notice.