11) When I raise my hand to ask her to repeat the last thing she said.
10) When I raise my hand to ask her to repeat the thing she just repeated–only this time, louder.
9) When I raise my hand to tell her I have to go pee.
8) When I then pause to say, “Wait a second…oops…nope. Huh. Guess I don’t have to go pee after all. False alarm. Carry on.”
7) Whenever I find the lecture boring, I light up a cigar and start knitting a sweater.
6) Midway through a lecture, I interrupt her with my best grumpy old lady voice, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. Is this gonna be on the exam or what?”
5) When I pass him a note that reads:
Pssst! Is this gonna be on the exam?
Please Check Box: YES, NO or MAYBE.
P.S. If your answer is maybe, can you be more specific?
P.P.S. I LOVE YOU XOXOXOXO
4) When I say, “Y’know…I’m very close friends with a certain Mr. Ben Franklin, if you catch my drift….and Ol’ Benji here thinks it’d be swell if I got an A on that upcoming Lab Exam.” Then after digging around my pocket, I lay a penny, my grocery list and an old moldy Sucret on his desk.
3) That I regularly show up to Anatomy class wearing my skin-tight body suit of the major organ systems.
2) That I have the words: PASS ME tattooed on my eyelids.
and the number one thing that ticks off my professors…
1) Whenever I’m in the midst of an intense exam and don’t know the answer, I bust out my kazoo and start skipping around the room, singing, “Pump-pump pa-pump, pa-pump pump-pump pump-pump…PUMP YOUR BLOOD!”
(it’s a shame Fonzie never shows up to convince Teach to give ME an A+ though…)