Want to give your children a fright this Halloween? Really give them the heebie-jeebies?
Here’s one sure-fire way to scare them silly. Just follow these simple steps:
- Go to a public place with your kid.
- Make sure there are lots of your child’s friends around.
- Be yourself.
Boo! It’s that easy!
My kids are still fairly young, but they’re already plenty embarrassed by mom and dad whenever their friends come over to play. Especially when we do things like pinch their cheeks, tell detailed stories about their potty training days or bust into the cabbage patch dance for no reason. But really, if we simply stood beside them breathing, it’d be mortifying enough for our kids to run away screaming.
Just today, I mentioned to my daughter how I planned on visiting her at school tomorrow to eat lunch with her class.
“What? What?” she yelled, jumping up from the kitchen table.
“I want to share lunch with you in the cafeteria! Tomorrow! With your little friends! It’ll be so much fun! I might even see your teach–”
“Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, NO,” my daughter said, waving her hand in the air. “Oh. No. Way. No way do I want you there! Please don’t come, Mom! Please!”
“What?” I asked, a bit taken aback by her outburst. “Why not?”
“It’ll be too….too…freaky,” she said with a shudder.
“Freaky? But I’ll share my chicken nuggets with you, how’s that sound? Huh? Not freaky at all! And you can tell me about your day…and I can talk with your friends and–”
“Mom! It’s the way you eat! I don’t like the way you eat!”
“The way I eat? And how do I eat?”
“You always eat like this,” (she stared blankly off into space and pretended to shovel food into her mouth, slowly chewing it in a robotic daze)
“Gee, I’m sorry. I’ll try to eat my food in a more animated way next time.”
“Good. But I still don’t want you there, sorry, Mom,” she said as she reached over and patted my hand. “But you can eat dinner with me tomorrow when I get home, okay?”
I’d like to take a moment here to point out my daughter is barely six years old. I’m afraid the teen years don’t bode well for this mama.
So I’ve decided not to visit my daughter at school after all. Wouldn’t want to traumatize the poor girl. But tonight, my husband and I might plan on busting out a fairly badass couples’ costume while we’re trick-or-treating with the kids. Just for the kicks and giggles.
Or maybe I’ll just sit in the car and not be seen in public with them, remaining at least 50 feet away at all times, the way things are meant to be.
Happy Halloween from Merida and Luigi! May you and your hellions have loads of sugar-laden but embarrassment-free fun tonight!