Many cold winter nights, I toss and turn, sleep as elusive as my dreams of ever having a family Christmas party where no one gets drunk, then fights over the Mayan calendar or who gets to take home Aunt Edna’s hard-as-a-hockey-puck fruitcake. (Something tells me the end of the world and digesting Aunt Edna’s fruitcake are closely linked.)
Still, as bleak as the holidays get, my heart is full of hope. Hope that one day my block-of-ice feet might be warmed by the coolest thing ever created by sheer ingenuity and a steam iron:
That’s right. Two of our favorite bloggers are currently running the Holy Sheet Giveaway, where you can win the chance to drool all over their face/chipmunk’s face/pillowcase every night.
After that, all you have to do is enter your version of a ‘real’ holiday card. Because nothing says peace on earth more than blatant bitterness.
C’mon, do it! It’s easy!
Even I did it! I crafted my own version of Christmas below. And I am far from tech-savvy. Once I thought I was surfin’ the net on my smart phone and it took a full five minutes before I realized I was holding our garage door opener.
In other news, I’d like to leave you with a little more holiday cheer in the form of yet another vlog.
In vlogs past, I’ve twirled a baton for you.
I’ve sipped coffee you.
And this time, I sing for you.
I know I’m no Mariah Carey. Or even Jimmy Fallon. But just humor me, OK?
WARNING: mild profanity is sprinkled throughout (I get a wee bit bitchy this time of year, don’t know why)
Enjoy and catch ya later next year…..
…..if the Mayans are wrong! Haha! Oh, I kill me! It’s funny because it’s not gonna happen! So we can poke fun! Right? Right?! (fingers crossed!)