Ruminations on life, uncut and unfiltered, straight from the mind of my six year old daughter.
“Uh, mom? Your butt is big.”
(pause)
“Oh, I mean lovely. Yeah! Your butt is lovely!”
(pause)
“Also big.”
(scratches head)
“Actually…very big.”
___________________________________________________________
“Well, I think peeing is dumb.
It’s just dumb and stupid and I don’t like it!
Why do we always have to stop playing to go pee all the time?
I won’t do it anymore. I won’t!”
____________________________________________________________
“Watcha doin’ Mom and Dad? Getting all snuggly?
You guys gettin’ all snuggly-wuggly and cuddly? All kissy? Kissy-poo?
Well, that’s just SO GROSS! I don’t wanna see that!EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!”
______________________________________________________
“I have a new boyfriend now, Mommy.
His name is Gabriel and he sits next to me at the triangle table.
He’s nice but he breaks all the crayons so from now on I’m going to have to call him Gary.”
______________________________________________________
“I am so excited to go back to school tomorrow, because I have P.E. class!
Yeah! And I LOOOOOOOVE P.E.!
Well, actually, I hate it….we run, we jump, we do stuff. I do get SO tired.
(sighs and looks wearily off into the distance)
But I really, REALLY love the part when we get to drink water from the fountain!”
______________________________________________________
(Over the past two weeks of vacation, I also learned Little Miss J’s new favorite catchphrase.
This is her response to almost everything I do or say:)
“Seriously? Be serious!
Are you serious?
Because…
seriously?
SERIOUSLY!
______________________________________________________
And so kids, tomorrow? It’s back to school! Seriously!
She's A Maineiac 
Ha! I was just wondering what the students are thinking right now! I have heard from a bunch of colleagues: all making plans for math lessons and which novels to read and what chapter of the history book to introduce. Wondered what the kids were thinking right now!
My daughter is actually happy to go back to school, even though she does have gym class today. My son? Well, he’s grumpy about it, typical pre-teen attitude I guess.
Seriously, I went through a stage when I said “just kidding” all the time. My Mom was not amused. Wow. Was she ever NOT amused.
And peeing is dumb. Guys have it so easy. The world is their potty. Ha. Just kidding! Seriously. Sorry Mum!
Yeah! The world IS their potty! Seriously! It’s so not fair. (your comments always crack me up, Lenore)
It’s GREAT. I was just getting the paper and thought, “man I could go for a pee right now.” Just let ‘er rip and never stopped walking. Relieved my bladder, wasted no time AND claimed my front lawn back from that stupid neighborhood dog.
hahahaha!!! Nice. Totally jealous here of your powers, B-man.
Seriously!? Your kid is hilarious 😀
I wish you guys could hear her voice when she says these things. So matter-of-fact and grown up, but with the tone of a munchkin from Wizard of Oz. She makes me laugh and she’s not even trying.
I just want to “get all snuggly-wuggly and cuddly” with her. In a non-pedophile way of course!
Haha! You should have seen the look of disgust on her face. We were just sitting on the couch holding hands for god’s sake! But it was much too disturbing to her, I guess.
Oh boy. That girl is brilliant. She’s gonna be running the world in just a few short years, I fear. Or hope.
And my oldest son’s favorite response these days is: “I know, right?” Wonder where on earth he could have possibly heard that phrase from. ((Whistles innocently))
I could totally see her as our first woman president, Misty. She could have press conferences and just roll her eyes and say, “Seriously?” She would solve all our problems.
This is one of my favorite posts! She’s a hoot!
Aw, thanks, Kim! What’s really funny is, she said most of these things in the space of one day.
I loved this! Just this morning, I learned from my eight year old that I do not look especially pretty when I am sleeping.;-) But, I AM snuggly. We must take those small gifts. 😉
Oh, we do, don’t we? We have to take what we can get from these kids, because they’re always so brutally honest. But then…I never thought of my butt as even remotely ‘lovely’ so I give her props for that backhanded compliment.
“Seriously” has replaced my kids’ youthful catch phrase (from Bill Cosby), “R-r-i-g-h-t-t-t!
She is a corker Darla. All I can think of, as I read your post, is Erma Bombeck’s threat, “I hope you have kids just like you when you grow up.” I recall using that when my eldest was going thru her fussy eater stage. Ironically, her kids eat EVERYTHING – veggies that other kids wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot-pole.
Our students return to school next Tuesday, Jan. 8th. as we went on winter break later than some schools in surrounding counties.
Love Bill Cosby! And Erma Bombeck. And she is a corker, all right, that is the perfect description, Judy. She does eat very well for a 6 year old though. She loves fruits and eats some veggies. Her brother hasn’t willingly had a veggie in his entire life.
Wait, your kids go back to school tomorrow? Mine are off still the rest of the week. Personally I love using the word “seriously”. Miss J knows where its at!!
“Seriously?” can be used in so many different situations. It’s going to be my new go-to catchphrase now. And, yes, they are going back to school in a few minutes. Seriously. They do get out super early at the end of the year, like June 5th, so it’s all good.
I love this post, and can relate all this to my 6 yr old grandaughter, & 8 yr old grandson. They are so funny, fortunately for me, I get a break. Hang I there, it gets oh so much better! Happy New Year!
I really do look forward to my grandma days. Happy New Year to you as well!
My 6 year old granddaughter says “Seriously?” all the time. It was cute, at first…
I don’t mind it when she uses it on her brother. I’ll walk by her bedroom and I can hear her grumbling, “SERIOUSLY? REALLY? ARE YOU SERIOUS?” to him and his response is always nothing, he’s just quiet. Typical man-woman convo right there.
My grandson also told me I had a big butt, but that I’m pretty.. Glad he covered it up with pretty… Kids are so precious and they grow so quick… She’s adorable…
What is it about kids noticing our butts? Mine must really be gigantic. It is a good thing she’s so adorable.
Hahahaha, it’s especially funny when it’s not your kid. My daughter once told me I was like a sloth because I liked to lay around- all totally serious, not being snotty at all. That’s what makes it so funny.
I like how she renamed Gabriel Gary.
Exactly, Alice! It’s the fact that they are dead serious when they tell you these things! Really takes your self-confidence level down a couple pegs. I love that she renamed him Gary. I bet he won’t even mind when she calls him that either, if he knows what’s good for him.
I’d write more, but I gotta pee…
God, don’t you hate that? Peeing always gets in the way of living.
LOL!
Gary totally deserves that. Breaking crayons, SERIOUSLY? (Don’t you love how all your comment-ers latched onto that one?)
That Gary is a trouble-maker. Julia covets her crayons so I’m not surprised she’s decided to rename him.
My nine year old son told me that there were kids in his grade who had grandmothers my age–he is 21 now and I love him to bits. Obviously he survived that comment.I told him that those people got married too young.
Ha, Love that! Yeah, so we decided to get married and have kids later in life. Still some people think Julia’s my granddaughter. And the scary part? She could be!
my mom was a grandma at 40!
Hi,
You just can’t help but laugh at the things kids say, loved the post. 😀
Thanks, Mags. She makes me laugh with nearly everything she says.
Seriously? That is my 6-yr-old’s favorite word. Seriously. (Too cute, that goggles pic.).
Bring her over to my house. Our two would make some awesome vlogs together.
The goggles pic was the ONLY pic I could find where she wasn’t smiling. And I would LOVE to get our 6 year olds together for vlogs!
She is so cute! And the romantic in me loves that you two are cuddly-wuddly. 🙂
Aw! I know! As cuddly-wuddly as we can be at our age. We were sitting next to each other on the couch holding hands. My daughter was traumatized by this. I think she watches too many Disney princess movies where they’re all kissy-poo.
Back to school tomorrow? Already? Seriously? My kid is off the rest of the week. And I don’t have to deal with him because I’m not home with my guys- neener neener neener. Of course, what I’m doing now more than sucks. Oh yeah, what you learned from your daughter. I agree with the peeing thing. I’d love to lay around in bed until 9am without having to interrupt what I’m doing (sleeping), to get up and pee. She’s got a point there.
Yup, I have to admit I’m happy school starts today. I have way too much to do before I start school again myself.
And the peeing thing IS dumb. She’s got a point there. At my age it gets to be a nonstop occurence.
That Gary sounds like a trouble maker. Keep your eyes on that one 🙂 Awesome post, like, SERIOUSLY.
Are you serious, Tori? Be serious. Seriously? SERIOUSLY?????
My husband has his eye on every boy that walks within a 10 mile radius of our daughter.
OMG the magical force of the water fountain! I had forgotten all about that element. Totally sells anything when you’re 5-6. But they can be tricky. Getting just the right arc and holding it…
I’m sure you’re seriously not at all glad to see them head back to school. Seriously.
When Julia told me about the magic fountain moment, I thought about my own favorite part of exercise: the end when I get to gulp from my water bottle. Good times.
I want to have her mind. Especially today, knowing that I have to get up from this computer and get ready for work. Except I’d never say that about your butt. Ouch. It only looks big, Darla, because she’s standing so close to it. And she’s very small herself. Pay no attention to that one particular blurt from her. The rest is hilarious!
yeah! That’s right! Object may appear gigantic the closer and/or smaller the person is who is looking at it! (or something along those lines….)
The thing is, my daughter is very observant and only speaks the truth so….my butt is lovely yet very big. It’s true.
I have nominated you for a few blog awards. You can check the details here: http://hownottokillyourparents.wordpress.com/2013/01/02/more-awards-really/
Thank you very much! I’ll be sure to check it out. Love your blog title. Words to live by for me.
“He’s nice but he breaks all the crayons so from now on I’m going to have to call him Gary.” Hahahahaha!!! I wish I’d thought of that when I had boyfriends I ended up not liking!
I know! She’s got it all figured out and she’s only six. Makes me look bad.
Your daughter has a touch of cinnamon in her, doesn’t she. Moxie. Spunk. Well, good for her. Probably not as good for you once adolescence hits, but good for her.
She is a bit on the spicy side, B. During her teen years I plan on just never saying anything to her or looking directly at her or acknowledging her in any way.
And you know I HAVE to add this final comment on the matter:
YOU WILL BE IN THE SAME BOAT SOON ENOUGH. MWAH HA HA! MWAH HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
(no, not done yet…)
MWAH HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t know about that Gary boy, but your daughter is SERIOUSLY cute! Happy New Year to you and your family, Darla!
Hugs,
Kathy
Be serious, Kathy. Seriously? Yeah, she is beyond adorable. She is trouble with a capital T. Happy new year to you as well!
Love these!
She sounds like a chip off the old block! Hahaha! I wonder what blog fodder I would have gotten from my kids. They still crack me up and end up in a lot of my posts. 🙂
Say WHAT? A chip off the old….WHAT???!!
Yeah, she is my mini-me in every way. I am doomed, Susie. Doomed, I say.
Thank goodness your daughter put on her Magic Anti-Snuggly Glasses to block her vision from any sights of a, shall we say, “cuddly” nature.
You can’t write stuff as cute as what kids say naturally – what a sweetie pie!
I remember very well how horrifying it was for me when my dad came home from work and KISSED my mom in front of us. Blech City.
Oh, Pegoleg! I am soooooo happy today to see you up and about and among the wordpress living again! 🙂 (I even used an emoticon, something I rarely do…)
Ha! Maycee says, “seriously!” all the time, too! How funny! She’s also into her rap talk…that’s what I get for sending her to the barrio school. 😉 Still have one more week of school vacation here, but I’m at work, so she’s at the Boys and Girls’ Club learning more rap. Ahhhhh, parental joy! Happy New Year and BTS day, Darla! XOXO-SWM
Rap?! Oh dear god! My daughter is obsessed with anything dance or singing related. She loves to watch Demi Levato or iCarly and copies everything they do, it’s quite scary. I can only imagine what she’ll be like as a pre-teen. Happy happy new year to you as well!
Seriously hilarious, cute and wise – all in one lil package! 🙂
MJ
She’s seriously got it goin’ on, MJ. Miles ahead of me when I was six years old. I think I spent my days giggling and eating paste.
You can’t write things funnier than that!
Kids have this way of cutting right to the chase and it is always hilarious, Susan.
Congratulations. You made it through. And I don’t think your butt looks big at all…
Ha! Well, I have my doubts about making it through her teen years AND about my butt not looking big. Gravity is a bitch, Cooper.
Wait, just wait for it. That cuddly well turn into ‘seriously you still do that? God’
I love your daughter, she is just wonderful and wise.
I can only imagine how more disgusted she’ll be with our cuddly-wuddly times, the older she gets, Val. I feel for the girl, I do.
That kid is going to one day rule the world. Not kidding, she’s going places. And I hate stopping to pee too. And I also think kids who break crayons should be called Gary. But tell her to leave the kids alone who eat Playdoh. Those kids are just misunderstood geniuses.
Playdoh is too salty for my taste. Julia seems to love it though.
Hey! What are you doing over here?? Don’t you have a zillion comments to reply to now??
i love 6 year-olds! 🙂
It’s such a fun, brutally honest age.
Love this post! It makes me think back to all the things my 10-year-old son used to say and says. Right now his phrase is, “I know, Right?”
One time about 5 years ago, he was staring at all the trees (we’re from Kennesaw, GA) and he got this very serious look on his face. He asked, “Dad….did God get sweaty when he planted the trees?” Ha!
I have a ten year old son and he usually either rolls his eyes at me or just sighs and says, “Whatever.” Your story about God planting trees made me laugh. I love when my son asks me questions about stuff like that.
It’s these kinds of posts that you’ll treasure and she will groan about later in life. But one day, she will treasure them, too (when she has children)!
I certainly hope so, Lorna!
Not too sure about the rest of the stuff, but I WILL second her frustration with having to go pee. Especially at 2 in the morning. And 3. And 4. And….. 😯
(Somehow, I know the wisdom of the world is locked up in the concept of calling Gabriel “Gary” because he breaks all the crayons, but I honestly don’t have the energy to figure it out! 😀 )
haha! I do believe if we could figure out her Gabriel-Gary logic, we would discover the true meaning of life.
Laughed at Her renaming her friend.Reminds me When Rudy renamed her boyfriend Bud on The Cosby Show.I love six year olds.My granddaughter Peyton is six and she says SERIOUSLY all the time.Seriously,she does.
yes! I remember that Rudy episode, too. Classic. I don’t know why people say my daughter’s bossy, so she just wants to rename people. I think she’s onto something.
She’s going to love reading this someday, Darla. My son is constantly asking me what kinds of things he said when he was little, and after three or four, I have to start making stuff up.
I bet with your brain, you could come up with some real doozies too.
Adorable! I especially like the ‘Gary’ one. 🙂
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