We all know the key to a good online profile picture is to contort your face and body to look exactly nothing like you actually look like in real life.
As for me, I try to do the following:
- Slap on loads of makeup I normally would never wear.
- Turn head at unnatural 45° angle.
- Pull shoulders back.
- Stick neck out to diminish double/triple chin.
- Tilt head up.
- Pucker lips ever so slightly without slipping into ‘duck face’.
- Raise one eyebrow seductively but not too much so it looks like a facial twitch.
- Give halfway “I don’t give a shit” smile.
Here’s my best attempt this morning:
Eh, it’s semi-presentable. But that’s not really what I look like.
Here’s the REAL me when I’m blogging:
When I’m reading something that scares the crap outta me:
When I’m reading something I think is complete and utter bullshit:
When I log into WordPress and see my reader’s still fried and I can’t comment or like posts:
When I’m reading something fracking hilarious:
When I’m reading something really, really gross:
And finally, when I’m having a bunch of mixed and conflicting emotions:
I have a feeling I might regret this post later.
So because obviously, my webcam is malfunctioning, I decided to recreate myself as a Simpson on a make-your-own profile site. I think this more accurately depicts me and my life:
Why did you choose your profile/avatar pic? What’s the story behind it? Or do you never show your face online and instead go with a flower or a cat? Yeah, I should probably try that one day.