Recently, after endless months of intense brainstorming, some marketing genius came up with a new slogan for our beautiful city of Portland, Maine:
Yes. Life’s good here.™
Yes. That’s the slogan.
It was all over the local news. Some people (businesses) loved it. Many people (the rest of us Mainers) hated it.
A huge part of successful marketing is coming up with clever branding; a way to get people to automatically associate something with something else and I forgot what the hell I was talking about. Oh yeah. You need a good hook. Something catchy and original. Like “what happens in Vegas, stays in Zach Galifianakis’s pants.”
Yes. Life’s Good Here.™
Right.
So I took it upon myself to come up with my own slogans. Ways to lure people into this
L.L. Bean-snowshoe-n-Mukluk-wearing, maple syrup-swilling freak show of a state.
Making sure they don’t confuse Our Portland — a place known more for beer guts, plaid-clad rednecks and cow chip throwing contests — for that Other Portland. You know the one — where patchouli-steeped people prance about on environmentally-friendly bicycles while smugly eating free-range chicken and guzzling overpriced lattes.
I can see why people mix us up.
So please. Come here. Because:
- Yes. It’s pretty damned cold here.
- Yes. The thermometer can go that low.
- Yes. I can’t feel my eyeballs.
- Yes. I’m wearing fleece underwear.
- Yes. That’s All I’m Wearing.
- Yes. And I’m outside getting the mail.
- Yes. The Winter Makes You Crazy Here.
- Yes. We’re Talkin’ Stephen King Nutso.
- Yes. This Is Why Stephen King is a Wackadoodle.
- Yes. We Have the Worst Governor in History Here.
- Yes. Most of Us Did Not Elect Him.
- Yes. I Plan On Voting For Stephen King Next Time.
- Ayuh. We Have the Worst Accent Heyah.
- Naw. Me No Likey Propah Grammah.
- No. We Don’t Much Care For Portland, Oregon.
- Yes. Portland, Oregon Can Bite Me.
- Really. You Have a One-Way Ticket to Portland, Oregon?
- And. You’ll Give It To Me?
- Yes. I Will Move As Far Away From This Frozen Tundra of Hell As I Can Get. Well, At Least Until July 4th When We Get That One Day of Perfect Weather. Then I’ll Leave Again.
Any other ideas for a slogan? Any slogans you’d like to add for your own state? Any one-way tickets to your state you’d care to share with me?
(disclaimer: Yes. I really love Maine. Yes. I was born and raised here. Yes. I wear plaid.)
She's A Maineiac 
Yes. We have summer here.
Yes. It’s only 3 days, though.
Yes. If Canada ever decides to attack the US, we are screwed.
Yes. I’ve met Stephen King, he lives down the street from my Aunt.
Get out. Really? Does he love New Kids on the Block as much as I think he does?
Actually, he’s more old school. Kool & the Gang are his faves!
“ceeeeeeeeeellabration! let’s all celebrate and have a good time! C’mon now!”
Yes. Stephen King stole my NKOTB hat.
I have a feeling your hat will make the rounds on my blog more and more in the future. You really can’t go wrong with it.
Yes, we are succeeding to New Brunswick. 😉
I’m already there. C’mon up! The water’s fine!
Um, not to be THAT annoying Grammar Nazi, but did you mean “secede” as in “withdraw from an organization” instead of “succeed” as in “to be successful”? Or is this a clever play on words, like “Yes. Maine secedes to succeeed…in New Brunswick.”
Darla, I did a state report on Maine in the 5th grade. MY CHOICE. I even remember the state bird–black capped chickadee. It’s a cheerful bird and apparently doesn’t migrate. So, no matter how cold or miserable it gets there, Maine will be forever romanticized in my heart!
I do really love it here, Anka. I’ll even tolerate those damned chirpy chickadees. But really, they are so smug, constantly chirping the actual name of their species over and over again. “chicka dee-dee-dee”….”I’m a Chicka-dee-dee-dee!”. Yeah, we get it.
I wonder if these little chickadees are that cheerful in ten degree weather? On a side note, I was wondering if you got my email?
Yes. Those Chickadees Are The Devil’s Spawn.
Email?? No. Did you send it to the blog one? I rarely check that. Off to do so now……
Nope, no email. I even checked the spam box. Unless you are the one who keeps sending me invitations to be pre-approved for Dish Network.
This comment is my favourite part of this post. It may have even made my day. Thank you.
What!? I love those damned chirpy chickadees! They are adorable and they happen to be our state bird, also (Masshole here) 😀
I didn’t know that, impybat! I had to giggle that you call yourself a “masshole”.
Kentucky: Yes, your second cousin is fair game.
Oddly enough, that slogan could work very well here.
As it does in most rural areas…
Portland: At Lease We Aren’t Skowhegan (Or Norridgewock)
*Least (Dang, I am a Dumbass)
No. Your Fingers Just Type Too Fast.
Portland: We Can Smell New Hampshire From Here
This is solid gold.
And if the wind’s just right, we can smell New Jersey from here (sorry, Julsey)
Thanks for checking. Is there another address I can use?
Just sent you an email through your blog! Hope you get it.
(next time, we might consider using pony express…)
Oh. Holy. Snow. Balls. I am DYING. Dying!!!!! The first picture alone sent me so far over the edge, I make Stephen King look sane.
Why is it that whenever I use my PowerPoint/bubble/caption/moose/bear tricks I only think of you?? The Queen of PowerPoint.
New Jersey: What We Lack In Charm, We Make Up For In Property Taxes.
Oh god. Maine is SO bad when it comes to taxes too. We tax a person every single time they curse Gov. Paul LePage. It’s made the state billions so far.
New Jersey: F*** You, That’s Why.
New Jersey: Learn How To Drive, Moron
New Jersey: Get Off My Effin’ Lawn
Ha! The first one is PERFECT. I mean poifect.
Cooper — F*** You, That’s Why is hands-down my favorite slogan now.
My brother in NH will have some ideas for slogans, no doubt. His in-laws (married for 30 years) live in Yarmouth and his emails to me every time he’s had any visits or even conversations with them are friggin hysterical … he’s got Maine down cold. I’ve told him he needs to write a sitcom about Mainers (including his friend near Moosehead Lake who has, at last count, 35 or os cars — two in the one-car garage; five in the two-car garage; bunch on the front lawn, side of the house etc).
Y’know, your brother is onto something there. I’ve often thought a sitcom starring some of the good folks of the Pine Tree State would be a smashing success. We also have a neighbor with at least 40 cars in various states of disrepair in his yard. Along with several wandering chickens. I think the chickens live in the cars.
They would have to use actors who can actually speak the Maine dialect with the Maine accent. I hate it when they have a show where they are supposed to live somewhere specific but no one speaks like they should. It’s called acting people…use it.
Yes! Life here is hard. A hard life makes you tough. Being tough makes livin’ easy. Yes!
Your one-way ticket is in the mail…. 🙂
Don’t tease me, Susie. I’ve always wanted to see Colorado. I realize you guys get as much snow as we do, but the difference is, you all know how to play in it. We just sit around in our plaid long johns and bitch about the cold.
I think you nailed the slogan in the intro: Maine, the “L.L. Bean-snowshoe-n-Mukluk-wearing, maple syrup-swilling freak show of a state”
Genius!
y’know, it does have a nice ring to it….
Still beats Oklahoma’s slogan. Oklahoma is O.K. GET IT??? Then there’s my state Texas “The Loan Star State” which should be called “The state that thinks it’s a freaking country but I swear not all of us are asshats.”
That should be Lone, although Loan would also work.
haha! Oh your Texas substitution is perfect. It sums up everything so nicely. And “asshat” is one of my favorite words of all-time. Ranks right up there with dillweed and numbnut.
I love that word too. Also “fuckballs” as an expression of irritation. Fuckballs, that was a dumb slogan.
Oh, I think you just nailed our new slogan.
Maine: Asshats and F-balls.
Might work for Texas too.
I’m just amazed that it took several month for the marketing team to answer “Is life good here?” affirmatively.
Yes. Our PR team’s overpaid.
I know. You’d think to shake things up a bit, be a little controversial, they could have gone with No. Life’s Not Good Here.
In all fairness, I read that this slogan came about from some guy from out of state who used to live here. Whenever his friends would ask him to move back home, he’d say, “No. Life’s good here.” (true story)
But like someone pointed out, if you have to ask about the backstory to a slogan, guess what? Your slogan isn’t working.
I had no idea there was a back story. Why didn’t he just cut off the “No”? It just seems like too much work changing a “No” to “Yes”.
Indeed. Way too much work.
Y’know, I do believe you and I have discussed this slogan probably more than the people who came up with it.
here’s the “backstory” if anyone’s interested http://skift.com/2013/06/19/the-meaning-behind-portland-maines-seemingly-boring-new-brand-campaign/
I read that New Yorkers are abandoning the Hamptons for their summer getaways and heading to your lovely state. (I’m sure Mainers are overjoyed!)
Maine: We’re the new Hamptons.
Hehe. Yes, we’ve noticed the influx of New Yorkers. I personally, LOVE New Yorkers. As much as they love us Mainers, I’m sure. Still, this might be a winning slogan:
Maine: Spend Your Cash Here Then Get Out
LOVE it. Put the coffee on. I’m on my way! 🙂
(Actually don’t tell anyone but I’m much more of a nature girl. Acadia National Park is on my bucket list.)
Oh, you will fall in love with Acadia park. We used to drive up to Bar Harbor (Bah Hahbah) every fall, go up to Cadillac Mountain and the view of the ocean in the distance and the foliage was spectacular. Probably my fave place to visit in Maine.
I’ll trade you a week in California for a week in Maine. The catch: I live in Sacramento, which is pretty close to San Francisco, which has pretty cold (relative) beaches. If you want warm beaches, you’ll have to trade with someone from SoCal.
As for a slogan for Cali, how about, “Move to California. F*#@ing Everyone Else Is!”
I would love to move to Cali. Any part of Cali would do. I’ve never been but I hear you guys get lots of sun. Tell me, what is this “sun” they speak of?
Maine: No One Wants To Live Here, But We’re Stuck Because We Don’t Have Enough Cab Fare To Go To Cali
We get so much sun we complain about it. In fact, bitching season is almost upon us. Stupid Californians.
“bitching season”. haha! Well, now, it’s bitchin’ season here all year round!
I once was watching Conan and he said living in LA is different because when they get rain they all panic and act like the Apocalypse is here.
Reblogged this on richardstephensblog and commented:
Life as it should be…
Yes, Maine sounds awesome. It is actually on my list of places that I would like to visit. Gotta see me some Acadia National Park. 🙂 As someone who claims “The Biggest Little City” as their home, I don’t get why everyone has to have a slogan. My state recently did a big PR thing and revamped the state slogan/motto/whatever to “A World Within. A State Apart.” I don’t have any idea what that means. Go figure.
Hm…at least that slogan makes you go hmmm.. Ours is just kinda there. Plus, it’s too close to the famous “Life is Good” campaign. (although I think that slogan has failed mainly because no one really thinks it’s true)
Agreed. I think it’s annoying to watch the government spend money on stupid crap like this. That’s my main issue.
What a vanilla statement: Life’s Good Here. Really? What about that statement makes me want to move out of my idyllic Pacific Northwest corner of the US, and move to Portland? Nothing. Now, if they had added something that even smacked of Maine, I’d at least think about it. Something like “Hey They-ah! Grab your family and come on downeast to Portland: where life is wicked goo-ud, Yessuh!
And I, too, did my state report in fifth grade on Maine. The pine tree state. Vacationland. Where even though it says on paper that the Maine state bird is the chickadee, everyone knows it’s really the mosquito.
Can’t wait to fly out in about 3 weeks.
I know! They could have at the very least thrown in a good “a-yuh!” or two.
Maine: Ya Can’t Get He-yah From The-yah So Why Even Bother.
Ooh! enjoy your trip up here this summer! You staying at the same place?
I’ll be back in my family’s cottage for the first time in years. About time! Same island.
Aw, that is awesome! You deserve some serious R & R, Sue.
I have to tell you. I went to Husson College (now Husson University) in Bangor, Maine and fell in love. I’ve been going to OOB forever, but it seemed I fell more in love with Maine the further I went! I moved back one more time, and to be honest, I miss it. I live in New Hampshire now and I’m from Connecticut. There’s something more fun about being in the woods and being able to say ” ‘mornin” every time you walk past someone in Searsport and to be greeted back with a smile. I loved every antique store I went into. I have watched lobster boat races,and read cozy mysteries that take place in Maine. Maine and I have a love affair and I too love flannel. 🙂
Well, when you put it that way, it kinda makes me wanna live here too. Where is this magical place? I wouldn’t mind lobster boat races, but a lobster racing boats, now there’s a show! (I actually don’t like the taste of lobster, go figure)
By the way, Searsport was the town my late father was born in, so I would believe it’s a friendly, sweet place to live.
You’re father musta been a really sweet guy 🙂
Delawhizzle: We are close to other states that have cool stuff
God, that is so true! The Maine tourism board should hire you for their next slogan.
I think it’s weird that parts of Maine get their electricity from Canada. What country do you belong to? And why is it when you drive up north people are like, “Goin’ all the way up there, huh?” As if you’re never going to return. That’s creepy.
How about…Maine: Yes. We Have Lobster and We’re Creepy.
Maine also has plenty of creepy lobsters. I personally think they look like giant red cockroaches and don’t like eating them. My earliest memory as a kid was my mom putting me down on the kitchen floor with a live lobster crawling all over me. At least she had the common sense to put those rubber bands around their claws.
How about “We are the other province” or “almost in Canada” or “we say eh a lot, like the Canadians” — remember when you are replying that I am a proud Canadian who happens to live in the southern most part of Canada and you are way way way colder than we are–hence the wearing of the plaid
To be honest, I really like,
Maine: We’re Almost Canada.
or Maine: The Place You End Up When Your Run From The Border Patrol.
ha ha
I’m in Chicago…
Yes. Our two previous governors are serving prison sentences.
Yes. We have deep dish pizza but it’s really overrated because it’s too filling and you gain 15.6 pounds from just looking at a piece for too long.
Yes. We experience all four seasons on a weekly basis.
Yes. We end our sentences with prepositions even when it’s not necessary to.
Yes. We have no idea what this “soda” you speak of is.
God, I would kill for a slice of Chicago deep dish pizza right about now! Just reading about it I think my ass quadrupled in size.
Do you guys call soda ‘pop’? Because that makes about as much sense as people down south calling shopping carts ‘buggies’. I lived near Seattle in college and the clerk asked me if I had “pop in my cup”. and I looked at him like he had two heads. (he did, one was of a tattoo of Kurt Cobain’s head on his neck)
By the way, wasn’t that Daily Post a trip? I was soooooo nervous and kinda panicked a bit when I answered the questions. The pressure was too much, man!
We do call soda “pop.” I don’t know any other way. I can’t convert to soda now, because I feel like I’d have to take a bunch of classes the same as if I was converting to Judaism.
The Daily Post was insane, because as I was writing the answers I didn’t know if they were funny or not, and then I was worried people would see it and be like, “This person is not funny…” But I think it turned out okay.
Yes! I did the same thing. First I answered all the questions dead serious. Then I thought, this is about humor right? should I try to be funny here? So I ended up doing both.
Yes. California’s Central Coast. Yes. Darla should visit here. Yes. The best weather ever. Yes, the best beaches ever. Yes, the most beautiful wine country. Yes, close enough to Disneyland or San Fran, but far enough away to forget about it. Yes, The Yellow Submarine has premium guest accomodations for free. Yes. Buy a ticket NOW! XOXO-Kasey
Oh maaaaan! Would I ever! You sold me with the words ‘beautiful’ and ‘wine’. I will jet over there right away, meet up with you, then blog about it.
Really, hope that happens some day, Darla! It would not only be a total blast (and a relaxing break for you), but it would make the best blogging post from coast to coast (rhyme intended, lol). The Yellow Sub’s doors are always open! XOXO-Kasey
This is so much better than “Maybe. Life’s kind of indecisive here.”
True. at least we now know without a shadow of a doubt that life here is good. (actually, I still have my doubts)
Any and every one of your offerings beats the plaid-pants off the spankin’ new slogan selected by your city fathers. His-ter-i-cull, Darlimagne.
I wonder if Portland OR is all worked up about this intra-Portland rivalry, or if they’re like Lady Gaga with Kelly Osbourne talking trash about her and trying to stoke up a big feud for free publicity, and Lady Gaga is all “Who? Who’s dissing me? WHo the hell is THAT?”
Speaking of trash talking…didya happen to see how I put YOU in the spotlight over at the Daily Post yesterday? heh?? hmm???
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/06/20/humor-bloggers/
NOOOOOOO! I missed that. Miss Darla, you sweet thang, you made my day! Thanks for sharing some of the sparkly fairy dust that is basically falling out of your hair these days.
GAD Darla, if you would host a funny clinic at a Marriott in your area, I would attend. Is there a Marriott in your area? Because I only like to stay at Marriott. Reading your slogans, I noticed that with a little tweaking some of them could also be used for Texas. Copying them was much easier than coming up with my own.
• Yes. It’s pretty damned HOT here.
• Yes. The thermostat is about to explode.
• Yes. Blinking makes me sweat.
• Yes. I’m naked with my head in the freezer.
• Yes. That’s All I’m Wearing for the entire summer.
• No. I’m not going outside again until November.
• Yes. The Summer Makes You Crazy Here.
• Yes. We’re Talkin’ Rick Perry Nutso.
• Yes. This Is Why Rick Perry is a Wackadoodle.
• Yes. Rick Perry is the Worst Governor in History.
• No. I have no idea how he keeps getting elected.
• Yes. I Plan On Voting For Anyone Else Next Time.
• Yup. We got an accent. What’s it to ya?
• Naw. We ain’t got no use fer none-o-that there fancy English ‘round these parts.
• Really. You Have a One-Way Ticket to Maine?
• And. You’ll Give It To Me?
• Yes. I Will Leave This Big Hair Dryer and come to Maine. As long as there’s a Marriott.
I really could use that funny clinic or a funny bootcamp or a funny lunch and learn seminar. Think about it, would ya?
Aw, man! You guys have Rick Perry! How lucky! He and LePage should really go out for donuts and maple syrup sometime.
And I have to admit to also sticking my head in the freezer while naked but that’s more due to these infernal hot flashes.
and boy, howdy! Oh, god do I love a good Marriott! There’s one in South Portland that my husband and I stay at often. (Yes. We Go To Local Hotels To Escape The Kids.)
We do not have an accent!
We speak English as a first language (well most of us any way) thus, we have a drawl with some made up words.
Marriott sucks, but I will stay accross the street from you at at Hilton, or a Four Seasons.
I love the Heat!!
I love the southern drawl. My younger brother lives in North Carolina and I’ve visited a few times and the people there are super sweet with their southern twangs and “y’all” and “Ma’am”s. Maine accents tend to be the opposite, very gruff, much like the people here.
I always tease about our drawls. I paid to lose mine many years ago. I should blog about that one of these days.
You should. I’m thinking of writing a post about accents in general now.
Main: We’re lime green and the rest of you are salmon.
I think it speaks VOLUMES that your local celeb is Stephen King. (Ha. See what I did there?)
I’m sandwiched between New York/New Jersey and I propose the following for a slogan:
“What? I don’t smell anything?”
Madam Weebs pointed me here. She was right about this place.
Welcome! Weebs is right. That woman is always dead-on.
(what the hell did she say about me? that the stench of snark and barely suppressed rage is strong over in these here parts?)
I love Stephen King. He’s a perfect example of a true Mainer.
She said you were “interesting” but I think she might have meant it the same way that the Chinese curse their enemies by hoping they live in “interesting” times. Don’t you worry. I run all of her recommendations through a Madam Weebels filter. It’s like grading on a demented bell curve.
Hmm…..interesting…..
Maine is where the Modern Philosophers roam free… 😀
Just be sure you don’t roam too much lest you have a cardiac moment while jogging in this blasted heat.
I always have my Gargoyle follow me when I run so he can airlift me out to the hospital if needed. 😀
Virginia is for lovers who pull out
When did Maine get those serious bear/pig critters?
Bwahahahahahahahaha. I thought that was high school.
Best slogan ever. I love a good slogan that is sexy yet at the same time imparts wisdom that is risky at best.
Given that our gov and the R who is running in Nov, VA is crazier and crazier, too.
It’s a little bit better than my birth state, Kansas’, slogan “As Big As You Think”. Well, it’s not really that big so maybe it’s as small as I think? I moved away right after that slogan came around so it has probably changed by now. The decision to move was unrelated to the slogan. Or was it?
Is it really that?? There are so many jokes that could go along with “As Big As You Think” but this is a family blog so I think I’ll steer clear of it for now.
Well, you have to include: “Ayuh.. you can’t get there from here.” I think I’ve mentioned the classic Bert and I recordings before, classic down east Maine humor. If you’ve never heard these you have to get a copy, seriously! You know I am and will always be a HUGE Maine fan. Of course, I was edu-macated there, and I met my wife there, what else can I say. I love Maine, I love the lobster shacks, I love the rural parts, I love the mountains, I love the accent, I love the scenery, I love the whole culture. If I didn’t love Michigan so much, would probably live there!
As far as slogans go…
Maine: “where you can drive for hours and hours and hours and only see logging trucks.”
Maine: “where we are so diverse that we’ve designated the black chickadee as the state bird, the white pine cone as the state flower… and we have more black flies than anywhere!”
Maine: “dude, slow down, our roadkill weighs 1000 lbs and will end up in your front seat!”
I could go on and on and on… thanks for sharing your amazing state with us… and Portland, Maine, definitely cooler than the other Portland.
Oh, and btw Michigan’s slogan went from “YES, Michigan!” to “Pure Michigan” a couple of years ago. So apparently we’re only allowed two words in ours.
I do, I really do love Maine. It’s why I’m still here. Well, that and the fact that the nonstop winter has sucked away every last ounce of my will to live, so why bother moving?
As for you slogans: all good. I did see a logging truck up close and personal once when a big piece of a log flew off and narrowly missed going through my windshield. I was only 17 at the time and driving up to college (U. of Maine in Farmington) so it didn’t phase me. Now when I am behind a logging truck I experience sheer panic.
I can’t memorize any new Michigan slogans – it will always be “Water, Winter Wonderland” to me.
I have it, they should have come to me…
Sometimes Yes. Sometimes No. Sometimes Ya think?! But always home.
(Tell me that isn’t the most heart warming slogan you’ve ever heard D?)
It is perfect. Pretty much says it all.
Are they enticing people to move? What about enticing tourists? Life may be good, but what about passing through on a holiday. There’s the lobster thing. What else?
I do think with this slogan we might see a mass exodus from the state. We all know the truth: that life is only marginally okay here.
we have lobsters…blueberries…potatoes….beer. So I guess we do have everything.
lobster and beers is enticing enough for me
Here’s the thing about yer new slogan, there. Why the need for “Yes” at the beginning? That’s what’s bugging me about it. That, and the fact that it’s not “Ayuh.”
Incidentally, I worked with a guy from Maine who, when seriously angered, called people “Son of a whoah!” As in whore. Apparently that’s a common way to express rage in Maine…? I kind of like it, by the way. It’s a refreshing change from “Son of a bitch.” Which, in Texas, would be “Sumbitch.”
Yes! It’s the ‘yes’. Gah. So annoying. Almost smug. Like we’re saying, “well, YES. We are spectacular, thankyouverymuch.”
Son of a whoah? Never heard a single Mainer say those words. But I aim to say it constantly now until it really catches on. I was looking for a new catchphrase.
Oh, I forgot: having lived in several states, I get to pick which one I want to sloganize, so here goes.
New Jersey. Whaddayou lookin’ at?
New Jersey. Yeah, we got beaches. Now go pound sand, capice?
New Jersey. Some of it’s nice.
New Jersey. A suburb of New York and Philly.
New Jersey. The state youze all forgot about after it got destroyed by a superstorm. Assholes. (Not you, Darla.)
New Jersey. Corn, tomatoes, beaches and the mob. Amirite? Heh? Hahahaha. HEY. I wasn’t talkin’ a’ you.
Any slogan that incorporates the word “asshole” is good in my book.
I also LOVE New Jersey: Some of it’s nice. Truth in advertising.
My sister-in-law moved from Philly to Patten Maine … she is so nice now she scares me. Maine: Crazy With A Smile.
Now that you mention it, most of us life-long Mainers do have a very unnerving smile and twinkle in our eyes, don’t we?
Reminds me of Nova Scotia’s branding that came out a number of years ago and has since died out. “Come to life.” It needed CPR right from the start.
Come to life. So I guess with these slogans they try to come up with the fewest and shortest words possible so they’ll fit on a sign.
Maine: It Good. It Real Good.
They’re all good slogans! And way better than the official one. I don’t know why a state needs a slogan. Do they actually get people to move there on the basis of a few silly words? Frankly, I’d move to any state whose slogan was: “No mean or stupid people allowed here. Ever.” Even if it was in a swampy, mosquito-infested place like Florida. Idaho’s is something like: In perpetuity. Except it’s in Latin. Like any Idahoans can speak or read Latin. HAH! And “In perpetuity?” Like I can’t ever leave??
I would think when you’re at one of those marketing meetings, the first guy who yells out, “Hey! I’ve got an idea! Let’s write this slogan in LATIN!” would be fired immediately.
I gave up on understanding marketing genius the minute they came up with ” I am sterdam” as THE slogan for Amsterdam. I just don’t get it, they are too clever for my liking… I guess…
Yes. There is a fine line between being clever and just being a smart-ass.
I grew up in Iowa and (no lie) at one point when I was in high school the governor wanted to change our slogan to “Iowa: a state of minds.” It failed, miserably.
Now I’ve seen a meme that has one of the Iowa welcome signs (like you see on the freeway) and it says
Iowa: Hope you brought something to do.
And it makes me laugh every time because when we go to visit my brother-in-law, I always pack a big backpack of stuff so I do, indeed, have something to do.
Side note: I liked Yes. This Is Why Stephen King is a Wackadoodle best.
I really do think there’s a state with the slogan: It’s a State of Mind. (I wanna say Georgia?)
Now your Iowa “hope you brought something to do” sign is great because it actually worked. We could use the same sign up here where I live.
Maine: Hope You’re Prepared to Nap A Lot
You’re close! Georgia’s slogan is “Georgia On My Mind.” I thought maybe New York used “It’s a State of Mind,” since Billy Joel did and clearly if Billy Joel did, it should count. But I’m apparently wrong. Idaho apparently has a real, actual state slogan that reads, “Great potatoes. Tasty destinations.” Oklahoma’s, I’ve learned, is “Oklahoma is OK.” Rousing, no? So, clearly, Maine would do well to adopt “Maine is Meh.”
Of course! Billy Joel! D’oh.
yeah, Maine is Meh is perfect.
Well, I’m sold. Now I want to move to Maine!
c’mon ovah, Nicole! We have lobster! (that’s all we have but I hear it’s good)
Many years ago, some ad agency came up with a slogan for New Jersey which was “New Jersey and you; perfect together”. The problem was that like many state slogan campaigns, Jersey’s featured a voice over by the governor. The governor at that time in history, had difficulty pwonouncing his R’s. The slogan became, “New Juhsey and you; puhhfect togethuh”.
Thank god no one thought to have our governor do a voice over of our slogan. He’d say something like, “Maine: If You Don’t Like It, Kiss My Butt and Go to Hell” (two actual things he’s said publicly, one about Obama and one to the NAACP, yeah, he’s a real jerk)
Here in New Jersey, our governor is a tad outspoken as well.
Maine: Produced Darla, the most excellent writer, on a roll must be something in the water
You might have a new career in the making you know.
If only I could somehow make money writing slogans, Val. I’d end up ruining tourism for every state.
Yes. I fucking hate it here.
No. I can’t move.
Yes. Everyone has a funny accent.
Yes. I want to punch all the people who say “ain’t”
Yes. People actually say that here.
No. I don’t. I have a good vernacular, unlike many Mainers (or Mainahs).
They say ‘ain’t’? Hm….that could be so many places. Do you live here? Do you also say “Ayuh”? People think Mainers say that and I have never heard one single person say that in my life and I’ve lived here most of my life.
Yes, I live here. I live like 45 minutes away from Portland. Yes! People say “ain’t” all the time here. My parents are guilty of it. I am the only person in my (Dad’s side) who doesn’t have a Maine accent.
Haha! Oh my. Well, I don’t have much of an accent either. No one in my family says “ain’t” or “ayuh”. My family does drop our Rs when we say stuff like CAH for CAR but that only happens when we get really worked up about something. (which is often….)
lol. The CAH thing happens a lot here too. We live a little ways North, maybe that’s why the accent is a little thick.
Very true. The further north you go, the thicker the accent. Also, the older you are. My older brothers (all in their 50s) and my mom all have thicker accents while me and my younger brothers don’t at all.
I think the accent is dissipating but my Dad (who is the Mountain-man’s doppelganger) has lived here his whole life and will never drop the accent. While as I went to school and lived on my own for a while learned to change the way I spoke.
“the mountain-man’s doppelganger” hahaha!
I also went far away to college for two years and adopted their way of speaking for a short time. (lived in Olympia, Washington where everyone said stuff like “duuuuuude”)
“Duuuuude.” lol. Funny how things become so popular and pervasive, especially through speech patterns.
“Pure Michigan”
Take that, Maine! That’s our actual slogan! Our winter only lasts about 4/7ths of the year! And we have a manufacturing base! And the good blueberries! Hah!
My husband’s family is from the Detroit area (Dearborn Heights) and I’ve visited your fair state a few times. That makes me qualified for the following slogan
Michigan: Where We Make Crazy-Ass Left Turns
Michigan: We’ve Got Vernors. And That’s It.
Michigan: Home of the US Auto Industry
Michigan: The Second Largest Agricultural State
Michigan: We’ve Got Vernors, as well as Packzi!
Michigan: One of those fun electoral Swing States
Michigan: The Views and Condition of Detroit and the Detroit Area do not necessarily reflect those of the State at Large
Michigan: Ditto for the UP
Michigan: Home to Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore, determined to be the most beautiful place in the country by Good Morning America (we think. It might have been CBS Morning News)
Michigan: Where people live who go to SBNL and think, “Why, this isn’t much better than the rest of the gorgeous, sandy beaches that line the western edge of the State.”
I had to google Packzi and can I say, I bet they’d go great with a tall cold glass of Vernors. (we are Vernors nuts in my house and they finally sell it here in Maine)
I’m sorry if I sound confrontational. It’s just that people pick on Michigan more than we deserve.
No worries. I’m from Maine Probably the most picked on state in the country, ayuh.
That might be the Worst.Slogan.Ever. I can’t remember if I shared this with you already, but a friend of mine, who’s lesbian, said that she decided to move to Maine after visiting one summer. She saw all the women wearing plaid and Timberlands and thought, “I had no idea there were so many gay women here!” So she moved up there, only to discover that they weren’t gay, they just shopped at LL Bean.
I like your alternate slogans, and I’d also like to suggest these:
Maine: We Have Blueberries!
Maine: It’s Easier to Spell Than Massachusetts
Maine: Our Winters Are Not for Pussies
Back in college, I once went to an Indigo Girls concert here in Portland. I sat down with my brother and we looked around and noticed every one in the crowd was wearing plaid. (so was I at the time, in my post-grunge days) But we’re in the L.L. Bean state so plaid is something we all wear. Then we noticed the crowd was all women. Women holding hands and kissing. My brother looked at me and said, “wow, there are a LOT of lesbians here, huh” We both thought that was odd. I had no idea the Indigo Girls were like the poster women for lesbians. God, I am so slow on the uptake.
Oh bless your heart. You know, Ellen DeGeneres is gay too. Did you hear that?
Get out! Next you’ll be telling me Elton John is gay.
He IS?????????
Nah, course not! Darla was just using that as a “reductio ad absurdum” example.
Maine: We came here to be alone so go away.
Maine: Cheaper than Portsmouth.
and
Maine: Apple cider donuts all day every day.
All of yours are perfect but that last one? about the donuts? made me spew my coffee.
Now that is a high compliment! Endless supplies of apple cider donuts helped me survive many a family trip to some remote destination in Maine (someone really needs to give New Englanders a lesson the meaning of the term “vacation”). As long as I had a paper bag of those bad boys, I could survive whatever giant bugs, freezing cold lakes, and pit toilets were thrown in my path.
“I like it. I love it. I want somemoreofit!”
Michigan: where you’re always 5 minutes from the lake and frizzy hair is all the proof you need!
🙂 MJ
Maine: Where You’re Not Even Close To The Ocean Yet A Seagull Still Poops On Your Car.
ha ha ha ha!
I’ve made many a three-and-a-half hour trip to the lake, so…
You are right about the seagulls, though.
I always wonder how much money was spent to end up with the least creative — and least memorable — slogan. We have a local restaurant that advertises “Just good food.” I’ll never eat there. I like good food as much as anybody, but I keep wondering about the silverware. And the bathrooms.
Charles, I saw a restaurant that posted this: “Warm beer, lousy food.” Owner and customers must have a delightfully warped sense of humor. No. I’ve never eaten there.
I sincerely hope not much money was involved with this slogan.
Now if the restaurant advertised “Just Good Bathrooms” I bet they’d get some business.
Hysterical, Darla.
How about:
* Yes. We have four seasons – winter, the day before winter, the day after winter, and a day somewhat like winter.
Exactly. There’s a long-running joke that Maine has two seasons: winter and Fourth of July.
Well then, Happy Fourth!
And here I thought, I was the only one voting for Stephen King.
If only we could get everyone to write his name in, why we’d have the best governor ever.
I’ve always wanted to move to Maine. . . I turn into the hulk if I get too warm and I like to knit…Maine seems as good a place as any to do it. (And I’m from West Virginia, so accents don’t bother me at all.)
To put a little Canadian slant on things:
Ontario: Canadian climate, American crime rates.
Ontario: Toronto….Come on, you’ve heard of that right?
Ha! Wicked funny! This is perfect! I feel like you forgot to mention something though, makes me sad it’s not on here. The OOB Pier with it’s speedo clad Frenchmen, strutting along the shore line, picking up sand dollars (bends down proactively flashing hungry anus eating stretched leather speedo “oops!”) its pretty epic, like a train wreck, you don’t wanna look, but you gotta!. Especially when they sit down, and you no longer see the speedo…
I’d try to come up with a slogan for NH, but what can I say? It’s the same as Maine, Vermont and Alaska, we get snow and summer lasts two weeks. Then it’s back to rain, construction and leaf peepers…
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Tennessee, the illegal Guatemalan State
Maine: The Main State (clearly I know nothing about Maine, other than what I have learned here)
I lived in Nebraska for 23 years, it gets cold there too, probably not as cold as you, but cold. I live in TN now and I have never worn my winter coat here and I have to laugh when they bitch about it getting down to 40. 40? That’s shorts weather!
Oh, our warm weather can start towards the end of February and can go to almost Thanksgiving. Not always, this year it waited until mid March to start. We have about a month of real winter here where we are located in TN. Not all the state is like this, but I don’t think it varies much. We have tornadoes though. One landed in our yard 3 years ago. Didn’t get the house but destroyed our beautiful forest.