I don’t know if it’s hormones or tiredness or what, but you just made me cry right there.I usually skip V-Day, but I would sure as heck teleport you some peanut butter cups right now if I could. The one-pound kind! Thank you. ♥
Yes, perfect! My husband doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (never has). On Mother’s Day when I ask him where my present is, he says, “You’re not MY mother.” But last year he finally began celebrating St. Patrick’s Day – he found out he’s a distant descendant. Whoopee. Ended up it was just another excuse to buy more beer. And that’s why I luv ‘im. 😉
You really need to consider letting Hallmark option this Maineiac line. I think there’s a real future for you in the greeting card biz. A new prison industry perhaps.
“stuffing my face with Godiva chocolates” my, haven’t we moved up in the world?
That celebrity card is pure genius. You could make big money selling it to all the A and B listers in Hollywood – maybe as a singing telegram. You should set up a booth outside an awards show or something.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you, Pegoliciousness! Hope you didn’t get stuck in your driveway this week? I have to go outside to snow blow in an hour. Yay. Some romantic day I’m having so far…
Right back atcha, Dalinkidinkidoo. No snowblowing for me today. We are experiencing a heat wave – it hit the 30s yesterday! I’m considering skipping work to go sunbathing.
Great post! 🙂 (Couldn’t resist.) Your humor is just what I needed today. I especially liked the new blog follower card — hilarious! Happy wishes to you and your family for Valentine’s Day.
Haha! Glad you enjoyed my snark-fest, Elyse. I don’t know what it is but lately I am just a raging caldron of seething snark and bitterness. I think going to school is finally getting to me?
Misty, you made my day yesterday. I slogged to my mailbox through the snow and ice to find a sweet valentine from you. Thank you, it really brightened up my day!
Roses are red, violets AREN’T blue (darnit)
These cards are hilarious,
Just like you!
Every time I read a post
I just about die
From laughing so hard
Actually, I cry
And then when it’s over
and I see you at the end
my laughing starts all over
More than I comprehend
So here’s to Valentine’s Day
and Vito and the cat
I love, I love, I love this blog
It truly is ALL THAT!
XOXO-Kasey♥♥♥
Donkey Kong never got it on! And please don’t make fun of the Biebs – he’s our unfortunate, untalented, lost Canadian child. Poor fool. I like the idea of giving a new follower a valentine’s, but my last new follower is a travelling rhubarb salemsman who writes in China – how do I relate to that?
So, so very, very much better than watching a Jared’s commercial! Thank you, dear Darla! I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, in fact, it’s a holiday I dread. When I see roses at work that day, it takes every bit of restraint to not walk over to them and pluck their nasty little petals off. Do they make Valentine cards for curmudgeons? I’ll bet you could come up with some fantastic ones.
Oh I do too, Jean. Every year that goes by I become more curmudgeon-like and less romantic. I really never liked this holiday, whether single or not. The only saving grace is it’s a good excuse to have people buy me chocolate. Hope you have a good weekend!
i got that same bloggers Valentine card! Man what some people will do for a click…
I had to follow you again. I’m getting emails but you’re not in my reader! Sheesh! See if it sticks this time…
Thanks for the cards. I’m going to print this up and cut them all out and glue them to card stock and then I’m going to find envelopes the right size for each of them and then…ah, screw it, I’ll just give chocolates again.
She's A Maineiac 
Now this is my kind of Valentine’s Day celebration! No chocolate, roses or teddy bears needed. Just giggles.
Giggles are the best. Hope you have a sweet Valentine’s filled with lots of love and hugs and REST. Rest rest rest. (you deserve it, mama)
I don’t know if it’s hormones or tiredness or what, but you just made me cry right there.I usually skip V-Day, but I would sure as heck teleport you some peanut butter cups right now if I could. The one-pound kind! Thank you. ♥
Aw, you are most welcome anytime, Deb. Just make sure you DO actually rest at one point this weekend.
(I usually skip V-day too, I buy myself chocolate most days of the year anyway…)
These made me a little teary. Probably from the cabbage… 😉
(Loved these, by the way)
Nothing says amore like the pungent aroma of sweet cabbage.
It’s probably even worse in the old folks home, about an hour after dinner…
I never knew it was possible to simultaneously laugh and yell EWWWW! at the same time.
Haha! I wouldn’t attempt any type of trifecta 😉
Yes, perfect! My husband doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day (never has). On Mother’s Day when I ask him where my present is, he says, “You’re not MY mother.” But last year he finally began celebrating St. Patrick’s Day – he found out he’s a distant descendant. Whoopee. Ended up it was just another excuse to buy more beer. And that’s why I luv ‘im. 😉
Are you sure you’re not married to my husband? I always had my suspicions he was leading a double life.
In the famous words of Bugs Bunny, “Hmmm, could be!”
So timely and so funny that I almost dropped a chocolate (that’s not a euphemism . . . as far as I know . . . ) while reading it.
Gotta go…Chrissy and Janet want to meet down at the Regal Beagle!
“almost dropped a chocolate (that’s not a euphemism…as far as I know)…” Oh my. hahaha!
You really need to consider letting Hallmark option this Maineiac line. I think there’s a real future for you in the greeting card biz. A new prison industry perhaps.
I’ve always felt bad that the prison population was overlooked by Hallmark.
Yo, I heart ya. Say yous heart me 2 or get shanked. Yeah, that so needs to go on a card.
haha! I think the word “shanked” could go on most Valentine’s Day cards.
LOL! It could.
I just wonder what kind of Valentine’s Day cards your canned ham face (your words, not mine) on cupid’s body would write…
Challenge . . . accepted???? 😉
Hmm…now THAT would surely be the most unromantic card ever. Thanks for the idea, RP.
Great cards
“stuffing my face with Godiva chocolates” my, haven’t we moved up in the world?
That celebrity card is pure genius. You could make big money selling it to all the A and B listers in Hollywood – maybe as a singing telegram. You should set up a booth outside an awards show or something.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you, Pegoliciousness! Hope you didn’t get stuck in your driveway this week? I have to go outside to snow blow in an hour. Yay. Some romantic day I’m having so far…
Right back atcha, Dalinkidinkidoo. No snowblowing for me today. We are experiencing a heat wave – it hit the 30s yesterday! I’m considering skipping work to go sunbathing.
Best Valentines day series of cards ever. LOL. I hope you enjoy the chocolates.
Thanks, I will enjoy the chocolates today. Only if I can get to them before my kids do.
Great post! 🙂 (Couldn’t resist.) Your humor is just what I needed today. I especially liked the new blog follower card — hilarious! Happy wishes to you and your family for Valentine’s Day.
Thanks and same to you and yours!
OMG these are hysterical
I think I’m getting a bit bitter about this holiday, maybe?
Darla, you are amazing. It was hilarious, but confusing. Because this ad appeared at the bottom after all of your brilliant ones: http://www.amazon.com/b?ie=UTF8&node=8336680011
Who said that auto-generated ads don’t have a sense of humor?
Enjoy your weekend.
Haha! Glad you enjoyed my snark-fest, Elyse. I don’t know what it is but lately I am just a raging caldron of seething snark and bitterness. I think going to school is finally getting to me?
Perimenopause …
I need that blogger card. And need to send it to all of the bloggers who USED TO comment on my blog and have now since departed. Or died, who knows?
I know Bieber broke your heart. Sorry that’s so fresh. You’ll heal. Eventually.
Misty, you made my day yesterday. I slogged to my mailbox through the snow and ice to find a sweet valentine from you. Thank you, it really brightened up my day!
I’m sorry, but I just don’t get it. Is it supposed to be funny? Display someone’s disagreement with or indifference to Valentine’s Day? I’m confused.
Awesomely entertaining!
These are so moving. The Justin Bieber especially. I dry-heaved a little.
My dry-heaving work here is done then.
What am I doing wrong in the blogging world that I cannot afford the Godiva?!
“Crank and Cronut” killed me!
P.S. – Will you be my Valentine, DP?
Always.
Dearest Darla,
Roses are red, violets AREN’T blue (darnit)
These cards are hilarious,
Just like you!
Every time I read a post
I just about die
From laughing so hard
Actually, I cry
And then when it’s over
and I see you at the end
my laughing starts all over
More than I comprehend
So here’s to Valentine’s Day
and Vito and the cat
I love, I love, I love this blog
It truly is ALL THAT!
XOXO-Kasey♥♥♥
Best. Poem. EVER. Happy Valentine’s to you!
You are such a hoot, Darla Denise! 🙂
Aw, you remembered to call me Denise! Some day I really hope it catches on…
I’m trying. 😉
Awesome cards. Thanks for the laugh tonight.
You killed me with the “Dear Sir or Madam” on the Bieber card.
Me too. That joke will probably never get old.
I know, it was really a low blow and has been done to death though. Still, I couldn’t resist. Hope you have a happy Valentine’s Day, Emily!
Donkey Kong never got it on! And please don’t make fun of the Biebs – he’s our unfortunate, untalented, lost Canadian child. Poor fool. I like the idea of giving a new follower a valentine’s, but my last new follower is a travelling rhubarb salemsman who writes in China – how do I relate to that?
I just got a new follow from “mold removal spray”. Totally made my dreary Valentine’s Day.
I would take a mold removal spray follower any day.
So, so very, very much better than watching a Jared’s commercial! Thank you, dear Darla! I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, in fact, it’s a holiday I dread. When I see roses at work that day, it takes every bit of restraint to not walk over to them and pluck their nasty little petals off. Do they make Valentine cards for curmudgeons? I’ll bet you could come up with some fantastic ones.
Oh I do too, Jean. Every year that goes by I become more curmudgeon-like and less romantic. I really never liked this holiday, whether single or not. The only saving grace is it’s a good excuse to have people buy me chocolate. Hope you have a good weekend!
ha ha!!! Excellent Darla. You are going to make valentine’s day special for every one with these cards. Thanks for the laugh.
You are very welcome, Arindam. Hope all is well with you.
i got that same bloggers Valentine card! Man what some people will do for a click…
I had to follow you again. I’m getting emails but you’re not in my reader! Sheesh! See if it sticks this time…
Uh oh, reader trouble again? Yeah, mine is wonky lately too. Sigh.
Gah, you’re a genius.
Reblogged this on 枕霞旧友.
Thanks for the cards. I’m going to print this up and cut them all out and glue them to card stock and then I’m going to find envelopes the right size for each of them and then…ah, screw it, I’ll just give chocolates again.
haha! I love your comments, Dave. You crack me up.
Too cute, Darla, as usual. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Hugs from Ecuador,
Kathy
Can you humbug Valentine’s Day? No? Okay, then I love these cards, I love snark.
You always have more than enough comments.
OMG: ‘Dear Sir or Madam’ – this made my day.