Or as my mom would say:
“You’ve been what now? Is this that evil computer thingamabob? You really should pick up a phone more and call me. I could be lying here dead in my rocking chair after having a heart attack while knitting your afghan. You know the one I’ve been working on for months in spite of my arthritic fingers. Oh how they hurt so! And this is all you care about? Freshly Pressed! I’ll give you Freshly Pressed! Jeezum crow! Where’s my friggin’ coffee?”
Forgive me for writing a post about how I was Freshly Pressed, but I couldn’t help myself. It’s been an eternity since my last FP. Why, I can’t even remember how long ago! (2 years, 3 months, 4 days)
And to know a post about my cranky 80-year-old mother and her dark cutting edge humor would be featured up there on the front page is somehow fitting. After all, I got my obnoxious sense of humor straight from her. While my late father had the dry slow-burn wit, she has always embodied the brutally honest, in-your-face Mainah charm.
So I’d like to take this moment to thank her for letting me know life’s way too short to worry so much and almost everything in life can be funny, even death.
As we all know:
Tragedy + Time = Comedy
Or in my mom’s case:
Tragedy + Time – Sanka = Endless Blog Fodder
Love you Mom! Thanks for giving my blog so much material. I know you will never read this but I’ll be sure to tell you about it tomorrow while I’m “fixing” your remote again so you won’t miss the upcoming Dr. Oz Show on colonoscopies.
Thank you WordPress for featuring her, my extra-sullen grandfather and his depressed dog in the post, Happy Impending Death Day!
I’m still on my summer bloggy break and hopefully will be back to posting more once the hellions are back in school. In the meantime, here are a few more “Mom” post gems if you’re interested and like to take frequent guilt trips: