Is disco dead?
Is Elvis dead?
These are the pressing questions of our time and sadly, there are no clear answers.
We live in a social media world, where information is condensed, repackaged then regurgitated straight back into our tiny brains. We’re constantly bombarded with buttloads of useless drivel. We have twitter, youtube, GIFs, Justin Bieber. Everything is getting shorter and more obnoxious. In response our attention spans are adjusting. We crave quick blasts of information and grow tired and bored if we’re forced to focus more than two sec–holy crap, I’ve lost you already, haven’t I? What — this paragraph is too long? Not enough pictures to break up the monotony? You’re wondering where the GIF is?
FINE. Well dammit, here it is! Lap it up! Enjoy it! Get those lazy-ass neurons zapping again in that noggin of yours! God, you’re pathetic!
Ok — I admit, that’s a pretty cool GIF. Who doesn’t like a good snort of jambalaya?
Still, whatever happened to taking our time? Whatever happened to slowly digesting a good read? Whatever happened to Elvis? Is he really dead? Personally, I think he’s on an island somewhere with Steve Jobs and an iPhone 10 giggling his ass off.
But seriously. Is blogging dead? I’m asking again because I forgot what the point of this post was. The GIF above is distracting me. [jambalaya!] Does anyone really read an entire post anymore? [jambalaya!] Like say, any of my incredibly stupid and pointless posts, like this one? [jambalaya!]
Don’t answer that.
I like to think I’m not one to be sucked into the latest trend of super-short bite-sized social interaction. I like to think I am above kowtowing to the masses. I’d like to know what kowtowing means.
So I looked back over my posts from over four years ago and I noticed a startling trend with my blogging (ahem) “career”:
- My posts got significantly shorter.
- My paragraphs got significantly shorter.
- My ass got significantly wider, and okay, shorter.
Apparently, reading anything more than 140 characters is like, so 2010. Libraries are dying. Stephen King is enraged more than usual. What does this all mean?
If blogging/writing/reading/thinking is dead, what will I do with my time now? Talk to my cat Mr. Piddles? Tough luck there. He’s got over 10 million followers on YouTube, the smug bastard. Although, for someone who spends an inordinate amount of time covering up his own feces, I am impressed.
Aw, isn’t he adorbs? I could get lost in his eyes forever…sigh…huh?…..where was I? Oh yeah!
I think it’s time we take back our minds, America! We need to start reading full sentences again! Start thinking for once! Put an end to paying attention to Justin Bieber! Otherwise, our brains are doomed, people! Doomed!
So in the off chance I haven’t lost most of you readers already, here’s a post all about how social media is ruining our minds. Keep in mind, it was written three years ago and in that time I’ve no doubt most of our minds have been completely ruined beyond repair. Anyway, I actually read the article and found it fascinating. Of course, it helped there were a lot of real purty colorful graphics and short bullet point lists or I would have lost interest after the first sentence.
Do you think reading is dead? Or Elvis?
Do you like to read long or short posts?
Do you like to read?
Do you know how to read?
Is it because you don’t have time?
Or is it because you really do have time, but you’d rather spend it watching this GIF?
Yeahhhhhh…….that’s the stuff…..
I feel so dirty now.