How Patriotic Are You? Take This Quiz!

Happy Fourth of July, America! Ever wonder what Betsy Ross really thought of Thomas Jefferson? Or why Nicolas Cage is a “so bad he’s good” actor? Or why, in the immortal words of Bobby Brady, we should never “play ball in the house”? Then come on over to The Nudge Wink Report posthaste to find out.

The Nudge Wink Report

fireworks

Happy Fourth of July, America! So, do you think you’re patriotic enough*? Let’s find out!

Whose signature is the largest on the Declaration of Independence?

a) Thomas Jefferson
b) Samuel Adams

c) J O H N   H A N C O C K

Answer: c

Who thought John Hancock was the world’s biggest pompous ass?

a) Thomas Jefferson
b) Everyone
c) Everyone but especially Thomas Jefferson

Answer: c

What is written upside down on the back of the Declaration of Independence?

a) “Original Declaration of Independence dated 4th July 1776”
b) “Made in China”
c) “Let it be forever known thou shalt never permit Nicolas Cage to star in a moving picture show about this document.”
d) A series of complicated hieroglyphics that when deciphered states: “We hereby surmise Nicolas Cage shall be the worst actor alive or dead. He must be stopped at all costs forthwith. Posthaste. That means right away. Immediately. What are thou standing…

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