Summertime and the Living is Social Media Free

How’s the summer going for you? Mine is good so far. I’ve sworn off most social media. I did go on Instagram and Facebook a few times but really, those don’t count, right?

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

  • Went on a diet.
    In my mind.
    Man, I REALLY should eat more kale and put down this bagel with cream cheese.
  • Went off a diet that never really existed in the first place. I like to live a genuine life.
  • Went back on diet. Then off. Then on. Off. On. Off. On. And this was all within the span of time it took me to shuffle into the kitchen.
    “I want to be healthy, eat kale and live longer!” Β vs ” But life’s too short so gimme that cupcake, dammit!”
    Now I’m on a “I’ll eat whatever I think is good for me at the time and be happy and shut the hell up” diet. It really works. It keeps the weight off and on.
  • Ate some s’mores by the campfire and still think they taste like burnt crap on cardboard.
  • Almost went camping with the kids in a tent by the ocean until a cold torrential rain hit and we stayed home instead. I owe you one, God.
  • Discussed death and dying with my 8 year old daughter before bed.
    “G’night, sweetie.”
    “Hey, Mom, when will you die? Will I die? Where do we go when we die? Do we come back? What’s heaven like? Are there cookies?”
    “Yeah, sure, there are lots of cookies in heaven. Now go to sleep.”
    Ten minutes later, she was sound asleep. Me? Now I spend the rest of my nights hallucinating from insomnia and watching old reruns of the Golden Girls.
  • Stayed at a hotel on the spur of the moment only to discover it had been taken over by 3,000 costumed mega-geeks visiting for Portland’s version of Comic-Con. When we checked in I saw Zelda, the Flash and Smurfette hanging out at the bar. I was happy to find out it was not a hallucination. Then I was unhappy to find out it was not a hallucination.wonderwoman1
  • Almost got into a smack-down in the hotel lobby with Thor over the last danish. But he knew he had no chance and wisely stepped off.
  • A mama bird decided to deposit two tiny blue eggs in her nest.
    eggs bird
    Unfortunately, she built her nest in my flowers. My flowers are on the deck. Two feet from my front door. The screen door two hellions cranked up on Fla-Vor-Ice burst in and out of approximately 4 million times a day. She is not happy with me. Never knew a bird had the ability to glare.
  • In keeping with my hallucination/insomnia theme, I’m currently reading the fascinating book Hallucinations by one of my favorite authors, Dr. Oliver Sacks. I’ve suffered from migraine with aura since I was about 12. I see zigzag lights, blind spots etc. I still often have hypnopompic hallucinations at night. Mine are always giant multi-colored spiders either scurrying up the walls or hanging mere inches from my face. As you can imagine this is a little unsettling for me.In the past I’ve smacked them with a pillow or screamed. Thankfully, the spiders disintegrate the second I try to kill them. Β It’s frustrating because it leaves me wide awake and in a complete panic. Naturally, my yelling “AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!” wakes my husband as well. I tell him it’s payback for all his snoring.

    Still, I wonder — why spiders?! Why can’t I hallucinate pretty flowers or stacks of cash or even a hairy Wonder Woman? I’ve decided to write Dr. Sacks a letter and ask him these pressing questions. If he writes back I’ll be sure to let you all know.

Okay, that’s it for my lazy, crazy, hazy, hairy Wonder Woman summer. What’s new with you guys?

Advertisements

42 thoughts on “Summertime and the Living is Social Media Free

        1. I’m a huge Harry Potter fan. Seeing the studio/museum where they shot the movies was a highlight of our trip to England. JK is a frigging genius writer.

          1. Yes! We saw some of that too — Kings Cross and the Great Hall (which I’d seen before at Oxford on a trip years ago).

            I didn’t know you were a Potter fan, too, Peg!

      1. Oh no! You can’t hate Harry!

        I llove them. And it’s because (well, they are hilarious) but in them, you get to see the folks you love who have died. And if you talk about them, it’s normal. You don’t get that awkward silence where folks don’t know what to say. The books give me great comfort. When I am feeling sad, I reread them. they’ve helped me heal more than I can say.

        Silly, isn’t it?

        1. I love that you find solace in those books. I did read the first one years ago. I never thought to see if my son wants to read them. He’s an avid reader just like me.

          And as for talking about loved ones who have died, you know I love talking about that stuff. It keeps their memory close to my heart.

  1. SoCal is drying up. Mexican monsoons sneak over, spit on us once, and then flit away: “Just kidding!” The Boys of Summer are just one giant tease.

    I’m hoping you will give us your take on your Governor’s latest antics soon.

  2. Thanks for passing on that picture of Dave from 1pointperspective as Wonder Woman. Now I may never sleep again.

    I have a similar problem with a bird, but I lack your gentle and kind heart. I caught sight of a beautiful, bright red cardinal perched on the edge of a planter hanging from a hook on my screened porch. Then I saw his mate flying up to that same corner. Now I suspect I have a nest on the top of my lovely, copper metal roof but I can’t see it, even on the ladder, and I’m torn about sweeping it off, regardless of eggs that may be in there, or leaving it alone so I can have even MORE bird poop decorating my deck. Why is morality so difficult?

    Glad you’re having a great summer!

    1. We just spent $4400 to have our downstate basement jackhammered, drain tile and sump pump installed, then I scrubbed off the mold with bleach and painted w waterproof paint. If this floods again, I’m going postal. Fair warning.

      1. Dana

        The sewers in our town back up into our drains. There’s nothing we can do, because the sump pump pumps the water back into those same sewers, so it just comes back up again! Raw sewage in the basement, until the rain stops, and the sewers can drain! 😦

  3. Thanks for the photo of Wonder “Woman.” I’ll never be able to un-see that.
    Hope the summer fun keeps up. You’re on the back 9 now.

    PS – those blue eggs are so pretty! Do you know what kind of bird that is?

      1. That’s what Jim said too. But it doesn’t look like a Robin because there’s no red breast. (then again, what the hell do I know?) This reminds me of that line from Carla on Cheers when she called Diane a “Robin Dead Breast”

    1. Sorry about the Wonder Woman photo. Just imagine how I felt when I had to ride the elevator with him.

      I’ve asked my mom (the bird expert) and she said she thinks it’s a swallow. I think it’s a finch. She’s probably right because I just pulled my guess out of thin air just to annoy her. Either way, she’s sitting on the eggs right now giving me the evil eye through the window.

  4. It’s been really busy this summer! I’m just now taking a minute to think about it for the first time. We’ve been through lots of doctor’s visits, another (thankfully short) admission, and more tests for the little fella. I probably should write a post about it… now that I’m thinking of it.

    Oh! The little guy went to the pool for the first time today! I wish I had pictures, but I was way too busy trying to help him to snap any. Total love hate relationship with the water. Maybe it’ll be better when he can walk on his own.

    1. Sorry you’ve had to deal with doctor’s visits. Glad you had some fun at the pool. We still have about 6 weeks until school starts so I’m trying to spend all my time being mildly annoyed yet very appreciative of my kids.

  5. The Wonder Woman image made me throw up in my mouth. Thanks for that. There’s one more childhood fantasy down the toilet. By the way, if you blend kale in a Vitamix with berries, a carrot and some vegetable protein powder, it’s exactly still like eating kale. I’m glad I could help. Your summer seems pretty good actually, except for the death/dying chat with the 8-year-old. I have an 8-year-old. He has informed me that he knows all about sex. I told him I was going to make him twelve more siblings, that kept him quiet right there. Spiders… when I was young, I dreamt of being out in the dessert, running around half-blind in a house as a huge spider squatted over the roof. I had that dream twice. Still terrifies me.

    1. Your comments are the best. Sorry I killed your Wonder Woman fantasy.

      Yes, kale tastes just like Jim Gaffigan described it once, bug spray. No amount of dressing or spray cheese can dampen the taste.

      As for your son, my son had three puberty classes and still doesn’t know what sex is. I know how he feels.

      I have had so many spider hallucinations in my life that during my last one (a month ago) when I awoke to see a neon green spider a foot wide scurrying up the side of my closet I just sighed and rolled over.

      1. No worries, I’ll survive. A good slug of scotch will restore my Wonder Woman to me. I wonder if my wife would be up for some dress-up? I should probably keep my thoughts to myself…

        That’s crazy about the hallucinations. Sounds like they don’t bother you as much anymore.

    1. I did manage to kick my sugar habit for two weeks this summer. Until I found out ketchup has loads of sugar. So really, I accomplished nothing. Such is my entire diet history.

      I love the Golden Girls so much I’m trying to write a post devoted to them. I’m stuck because I can’t pick my favorite. Is it innocent dumb Rose? Or wise-cracking Sophia? I think I love Dorothy the best.

      1. Diets are lame anyways! …. Ugh I know. I love all of them. I think that was the point. that the viewers could see a little bit of themselves in each of the characters. I only just started watching them….it was so easy to fall inlove!

  6. That’s hilarious! We’re supposed to do a family camp out tonight and it’s looking like ours will be rained out too. Ours is just at our pool, though, and I’m making my husband stay overnight so I don’t have to. Your summer sounds great to me! Love it!

  7. I too, stayed in a hotel, along with half a million ( really maybe 300-400) other wheelchair users, all bent on getting on the wrong elevators, or onto the bus before me. My key card didn’t work one day. Got 2 new ones issued. They didn’t work either. Watched Security use 4 keys before he got the door open. My roommate locked the inside lock to take a bath, and thus locked me out. Listened to roommate laughing a talking and two minutes later was snoring. Very pleasant hotel stay…

  8. So happy to hear that you were saved from the horrific fate of camping. Awful. stuff. A weak wifi signal is about as close as I ever get to roughing it.

    You should charge that stupid bird rent. You’d better hope a blue jay doesn’t find that nest or the kiddies are going to get a close-up lesson in the Circle of Life.

  9. Don’t come by my blog. Plenty of spiders here! Sweet about your bird nest. So fun for kids to watch from the inside. We have baby squirrels, a riot to watch, but oh my gosh. They are MADNESS. Birds are better. They go away and don’t wreck your stuff.

    That picture of Wonder Woman. *shudder* No wonder you needed a Danish.

Tell me about it.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s