Are you sick of staying up night after night listening to your #$%*ing spouse snore? Does it take every last shred of your willpower to not punch him/her straight in his/her windpipe?
Well, you’re in luck because I’m reporting on the latest anti-snore medical marvel to hit the market! Just click on over to The Nudge Wink Report to find out which of my husband’s orifices this handy new device ends up!
Are you one of the millions of people who snore like a wild boar in heat? Are you one of the miserable sleep-deprived spouses of the aforementioned wild boar in heat? Are you an actual wild boar in heat? Well, hold onto your CPAP machines because there’s a new device* hitting the market!
This crafty little invention delivers a steady stream of low-pressure air straight into the snorer’s nose as they sleep. Not only does this bring relief to the snorer, it also serves as a very effective form of birth control.
No word yet from the FDA as to whether this new gadget is capable of being sufficiently crammed completely down snorer’s throat once it is discovered to not work at all in the slightest.
The author of this post can attest to her own various failed attempts at reducing her spouse’s freight-train-meets-Learjet-meets-jackhammer snoring. A few notable things she’s learned over the years:
- Ear plugs are great at reducing noise…
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