The odds of winning this week’s Powerball jackpot are 1 in 292.2 million.
I’ve written about Powerball before in Why can’t I get struck by lightning just once?
But people still think that they might win the 1.3 billion (about 20 bucks and change after taxes)? Get real.
Please, that’s like saying Justin Bieber might not have ruined the Mayan ruins forever.
To help you put things into perspective, here are some other odds:
1 in 292.2 million: The odds I will find even a single dirty penny on the ground.
1 in 500 million: The odds that Justin Bieber will visit a highly-respected location and not drop his pants.
1 in 3: The odds I will drop my pants at any given time.
1 in infinity X infinity to the nth power: The odds Donald Trump will say anything remotely intelligent and/or not offensive.
1 in 2.3 trillion: The odds Donald Trump will get struck by lightning, rendering him permanently speechless.
1 in 1: The odds I will open the dishwasher and get in an argument with my husband over whether the dishes are clean or not.
1 in 1: The odds I will look in the mirror in the morning and die a little inside.
1 in 1: The odds my mother will find some way to work guilt into our conversation.
1 in 1: The odds I will not win the Powerball.
Okay, I’d love to crunch more numbers for you guys but I have to go wait in line to buy more tickets. Wish me luck.
And if I win, I promise you will never hear from me again.
Because I’ll be too busy droppin’ trou in Justin Bieber’s front yard.
So, if you DID win, what would you do first?
And the second thing would be to give me the rest of your money, right?