Get ready! Today is End of the World Day (again)!
I’ve already prepared a to-do list:
- Shampoo hair.
- Rent a limo and cruise through the streets of New York City eating a slice of hot pizza.
- Beg the Messiah to absolve me of all my sins.
- Binge-watch Outlander.
- Check the Second Coming Countdown! Have You Got Your Shit Together? ticker on CNN.
- Eat a foot-long Italian BMT with extra mayo and triple the meats.
- Spend rest of day in the bathroom watching Home Alone 3 on iPhone.
Are you ready? What’s on your to-do list? Is today really the end? If not — dear God, pleasepleaseplease can it be before the next presidential election?
And if for some odd reason, I don’t disappear into the heavens leaving behind only a pile of my clothes during the Rapture today, I look forward to your comments and likes below.