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Keeping Up With My Mom

Because nothing says Happy Mother’s Day more than chest cracks and balls of light.

SHE'S A MAINEIAC

I live next door to my 82-year-old mother. She has never driven a car, loves to read New Age books, and lives for the moment her mail is delivered. Five other notable things about her:

  1. She eats her hamburger in between two toasted (burnt to a crisp) rice cakes because she’s “probably allergic to gluten”.
  2. She once thought my late dad was communicating to her through her smoke detector.
  3. She firmly believes in the afterlife and brings up her own imminent death at least once a day.  (Then why bother with the rice cakes?)

    1004967_10152271173837873_92569745_n My mom asking the waitress, “Yes, I’d like the hamburger but without the bun. Do you have any rice cakes? And could you turn this music down? How am I supposed to think about what I can’t eat with all this racket!”

  4. There is nothing she hates more than when I try to assist her in…

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20 thoughts on “Keeping Up With My Mom”

  1. This is effing hilarious… a hamburger on burnt rice cakes? Afterlife theories? And especially the part about the eggs. No wonder she wrests the grocery bags out of your hands, she’s worried the eggs might be in there. 🙂

  2. Thanks for the laugh this morning! Did you ever get her The Afterlife of Billy Fingers? I *know* you probably have a ton of free time to sit around and read, but just in case, you might like that one. It’s not too long, but is packed.

    1. OK, I stopped at the library yesterday and picked up The Afterlife of Billy Fingers and HOLY GUACAMOLE! It’s goooood! I’m already halfway done and plan on letting me mom read it next. Thanks so much for suggesting it. I’m also looking into seeing an intuitive soul reader here in Maine. She’s been trained in quantum healing hypnosis therapy. 🙂

      1. Awesome! So the gal does QHHT. Dolores Cannon’s work. Phenomenal! I had a QHHT session a few years ago, but because my back wasn’t comfortable in the chair after a while, I couldn’t go super deep. (I think the gal was very new at it too). Got to see a few different past lives though. One wasn’t even human, but really big lizard- like a Komodo dragon. I can’t remember, have you read any Dolores Cannon books? I really got into her Convoluted Universe series.

        I can’t believe your library had Billy Fingers. How cool is that?

  3. I’m here, I’m here! Major business changes involving a merger, move, and inability to access the interwebz for personal shiz but I figured out how to redownload WordPress on my phone so I can say, happy belated mother’s day to you and your mom.😘

    1. OH PEGGLES! How I’ve missed you so! Happy belated Mother’s Day to you as well. 🙂 (I don’t know how you did that cute kissy face!)

      Hope the merger, move etc. all went smoothly…? I really want to get back into writing/blogging, but I seem to have taken on more than I can handle lately…I’ve got two “real world” jobs plus I’m up to my eyeballs in freelance stuff on the weekends/nights. If only I could clone myself…

      1. Thanks my dears. It will all be for the best… some day. Sounds like your schedule is worse than mine, Miss Darla, plus two active kids. Yikes! Sorry I haven’t been keeping up, Jules. How does it happen that you are resurrecting as I’m fading, blog-wise?

  4. She seems to me amazing women!! take good care of her.. and give her a treat from my side 😀 coz she deserves it on mothers day.

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