Because nothing says Happy Mother’s Day more than chest cracks and balls of light.
I live next door to my 82-year-old mother. She has never driven a car, loves to read New Age books, and lives for the moment her mail is delivered. Five other notable things about her:
- She eats her hamburger in between two toasted (burnt to a crisp) rice cakes because she’s “probably allergic to gluten”.
- She once thought my late dad was communicating to her through her smoke detector.
- She firmly believes in the afterlife and brings up her own imminent death at least once a day. (Then why bother with the rice cakes?)
My mom asking the waitress, “Yes, I’d like the hamburger but without the bun. Do you have any rice cakes? And could you turn this music down? How am I supposed to think about what I can’t eat with all this racket!”
- There is nothing she hates more than when I try to assist her in…
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