13 Ways I Live On the Edge

The dentist recommends I floss at least once a day. Some days I don't floss. And I still have my teeth. Take that, Mr. Know-It-All Dentist. Advil's recommended dose for 12 years and up is one capsule, then two if needed every four to six hours. Oh yeah? Well, I'm taking two pills. At the same …

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Top Reasons I Should Probably Get New Glasses

Reached down to pick up a knot of black thread on the floor only to realize it was a spider. While reading books to my seven year old at bedtime, I either mumble 'blah blah blah' or make up the story as I go along. "And so the three Bears came home and...blah blah blah...kicked Goldilock's sorry ass out …

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Top Signs Your Doctor Should Retire

I recently had the pleasure of visiting with a local Ear, Nose and Throat doctor for some minor health issues. I sat down on the crinkly paper in the examination room and waited an eternity for him to see me. My guess was it took him that long just to walk down the hall to my room. Finally, …

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Top Eleven Things That Tick Off My College Professor

11) When I raise my hand to ask her to repeat the last thing she said. 10) When I raise my hand to ask her to repeat the thing she just repeated--only this time, louder. 9) When I raise my hand to tell her I have to go pee. 8) When I then pause to say, …

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Top 11 Things About Blogging I’m Not Very Fond Of….

(...because hate is such a strong word.) 11) If I don't blog, I die a little inside. Then I curse myself for being addicted. And I die inside a little more. Then I write a post about blogging. Then I cry in my beer. Repeat ad nauseam. Then I look up the phrase 'ad nauseam' to …

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Top Ten Reasons My Kids Think Dad Rules

10) Clothing: optional. 9) Silverware, plates and table: optional 8) Food of any nutritional value: optional. 7) If he was asked: "Hey, Dad, is it okay if we fill these water balloons with whipped cream and chocolate syrup and throw them out the window at Mom weeding the garden?" OR "Hey, Dad? Is it okay if we …

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Top Ten Signs You’re Nearing Menopause

10) You can't decide whether that burning sensation you feel on your face and neck is seething anger or a hot flash. 9) You start slipping ice packs into your bra. 8) Your electricity bill is $1,563.25 due to the 10 fans and 3 a/c units you have running 24/7. 7) When your husband asks for …

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