Many cold winter nights, I toss and turn, sleep as elusive as my dreams of ever having a family Christmas party where no one gets drunk, then fights over the Mayan calendar or who gets to take home Aunt Edna’s hard-as-a-hockey-puck fruitcake. (Something tells me the end of the world and digesting Aunt Edna’s fruitcake are closely linked.)
Still, as bleak as the holidays get, my heart is full of hope. Hope that one day my block-of-ice feet might be warmed by the coolest thing ever created by sheer ingenuity and a steam iron:
That’s right. Two of our favorite bloggers are currently running the HolySheetGiveaway, where you can win the chance to drool all over their face/chipmunk’s face/pillowcase every night.
Check out their spectacular videos here and here. Really, go watch them, they make my vlogs look, well…stupid. (Don’t tell me that’s not that hard to do, I know that.)
After that, all you have to do is enter your version of a ‘real’ holiday card. Because nothing says peace on earth more than blatant bitterness.
C’mon, do it! It’s easy!
Even I did it! I crafted my own version of Christmas below. And I am far from tech-savvy. Once I thought I was surfin’ the net on my smart phone and it took a full five minutes before I realized I was holding our garage door opener.
In other news, I’d like to leave you with a little more holiday cheer in the form of yet another vlog.
I answered your questions as fast I could, but still the video is very long.
I swear I will never, ever do this again. Ever. Again.
I’ve been known to ramble. I’ve been known to not know when to shut up. You can feel bad for my husband, it’s OK, I certainly do. If you fall asleep halfway through while watching this video, well, look at it this way, you got a nice nap out of it.
I’m droppin’ another vlog down in the hizzle, yo! (I have no idea what the above means…I’m hoping someone can fill me in…?)
So…what do you want to know? Nothing? Good.
Everything? Uh oh.
Now would probably be a good time to tell you: I reserve the right to delete any and all questions. Or refuse to answer them.
Here are a few examples to get you going…
*What’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever done? (you might wanna be more specific with this one…)
*How many times did I fail my drivers license test?
*What movie have I seen the most times?
*What do I hate about blogging?
*What scares me the most?
*What celebrity do I hate the most?
*Why are we here?
See…the possibilities are endless! Ask me!
And for extra fun, if you leave a question, feel free to leave YOUR answer to your question as well in your comment so we can compare answers (and ridicule each other).
Two years ago today, I started my blog. I had no idea what to write about or why anyone in their right mind would ever want to read it. I guess some things never change. My first post was about widgets and picking a theme. After I published it, I thought, Huh. Well…so now what? I guess that’s it…I’m done with the blogging thing…
I had no idea what blogging meant. I considered it a private diary of sorts that maybe my cousin in Florida would read for her own amusement. I didn’t realize anyone out there could just stumble upon it and read it–that it was public domain. Good thing or I probably would’ve censored myself more.
So I wrote mostly for myself. (And as luck would have it, I was the only one reading it.) I kept plugging away for months with my public diary no one read. If I got a ‘like’, I was ecstatic. One comment and I was over the moon. I honestly still feel that way today. I never imagined I would take to blogging so quickly or become so addicted.
I felt like someone was out there listening. And through them I found other bloggers and started following them as well. So I would like to give a shout-out to them–thank you. I honestly wouldn’t still be blogging if it weren’t for you guys. (And now my husband has someone to blame.)
Here are some interesting factoids about my two years here at the place I’ve grown to love, WordPress:
137–total number of posts 8,512–total number of comments 8,000–number of comments where I replied with: “Ha!” “Haha!” or “Hahaha!” 1,333,561–number of spam comments stating:Your interesting article make great points. Very efficiently written. I encourage you to continue making brilliant ideas of this topic for future reference. 1,000–average number of words in my posts 500–average number of words in my posts my readers would prefer 10,000—average number of words per day I didn’t utter to my husband because I blogged them instead (he would like to personally thank WordPress for this statistic) 152–number of times I dreamt about blogging and other bloggers–like I wrote an embarrassing post and published it anyway or I was blogging in a public place in my underwear (one of those two things happened) 4–number of times I was Freshly Pressed 0–number of times my husband or anyone in my family gave a rat’s ass that I was Freshly Pressed millions–number of times I checked my stats countless—number of times I wished I could edit my comment the second I hit the reply button but instead sat there like an idiot, silently screaming NOOOOOOO! at the computer screen. countless–number of times I’ve been in awe of a fellow blogger’s writing–their unfailing humor, intelligence, heart and soul. Also jealous. Very jealous. But I’ve learned to let it go.
I am grateful to WordPress for giving me the chance to have others read my stuff and, especially, for creating such a great creative space full of talented blogs and people. My life is richer for having ‘met’ you guys here. I know this all sounds hokey, but it’s true. So there.
Thank you ALL for supporting me these past two years, and always being so positive, hilarious and respectful. I hope one day we can all meet up and have an epic blogger party at the beach. I’ll bring the lobstahs if you bring the bee-yah, deal?
Here’s a little stroll down memory lane of my past 2 years. Caution: you might have to adjust the volume a bit here and there as I switch from music to talking. Enjoy!
**Warning Kids! There is some profanity! Some of it warranted!**
*******Dagnabit! Can’t figure out why this video “is not available in your country.” The video was the best part of this post! I’m working on it….*****
If you thought this video was lame, you might also enjoyTHIS ONE
Before you watch this, I have to say a few things.
First, settle down kids. Okay, so my shoes are still there, and yes, apparently they are gigantic and very distracting. Tape a little piece of paper over it if you must. Also, there will be no baton twirling. Maybe tomorrow.
I apologize in advance if this little video is a huge disappointing let-down. I felt the same way about the last episode of Lost. Deal with it.
(Sorry, I know, that is the worst title for a post ever…I’m trying to increase my readership levels for the 18 to 22 year old crowd. I may have managed to alienate a few instead.)
I haven’t done a vlog in eons. Well since here. Elyse from FiftyFourandAHalf posted a little tagging Q&A thing so I thought I’d do another one because I am much too lazy to type it all out or write it in my little notebook.
The first video is just a little ‘hey, how’s it going?’ blurb. Enjoy.
This next one is a two-parter. A real nail-biter. You might even say a cliffhanger.
Whenever you read someone’s blog, do you ever wonder what that person’s voice sounds like or what mannerisms they have? Are they loud? Do they mumble? (my husband thinks I mumble loudly) Do they talk with their hands? Do they talk with their feet? Do they laugh like a hyena on steroids? These are the things you can never get from just reading typed words. I’m still debating whether that’s a good thing or not.
Renée of Lessons from Teachers and Twitsrecently posted a short video illustrating her northern/southern accents and dialect. This “vlog” (great– another word I have to learn) has apparently been circulating and who am I to deny you, dear readers, my mesmerizing Maine accent? (I don’t really have one, I swear, ayuh)
Plus, I always find it fascinating to hear the differences from one part of the country to another. When I lived near Seattle, I was shocked that people called soda, “pop” and when I visited my brother in North Carolina, I found out a grocery cart is really a “buggy”. It’s a crazy mixed-up world we live in, my friends.
So I am going to read the words below the video clip and answer some questions. And then you can have your perception of me completely shattered once you realize I have a weird accent worse than a combination of Angela Lansbury in Murder She Wrote and George Clooney in The Perfect Storm.