Oh, What a Year!

Well, ho ho ho and shut the front door! It's that time once again to look at my Saved By The Bell: "Slater Wears Tiny Tank Tops" desk calendar and say to my cat, "Hold up -- another year's gone in the blink of Screech's lazy eye? What the hell? Is this how time works? Yeah, …

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It’s Time for Our Annual “Prepare to be Jealous” Newsletter!

Greetings! It's time once again to reflect on all our accomplishments over the past year! Why? Because the calendar tells us we should, even though time is purely a construct of our minds and doesn't actually exist! Except when you're trapped in a mall parking lot with a carload of whining kids searching for that last parking …

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The Dude with the ‘Tude

If you're a parent, you've heard of the Elf on the Shelf. Or as I like to refer to him-- The Brilliant Yet Creepy Spawn of Marketing Execs Gone Mad. Until this Christmas, for years I had managed to live in complete denial this thing even existed, effectively putting blinders on every time I saw his clever little escapades …

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Embrace Your Inner Bah Humbug

In all my childhood photos, I was always grinning at the camera like a fool. People thought of me as an extremely happy child. In report cards, teachers always said the same thing: Darla is such a quiet and shy child--but always smiling! I had a certain zest for life back then. Overall, I still …

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Happy Holidaze, Maineiac Style!

Many cold winter nights, I toss and turn, sleep as elusive as my dreams of ever having a family Christmas party where no one gets drunk, then fights over the Mayan calendar or who gets to take home Aunt Edna's hard-as-a-hockey-puck fruitcake. (Something tells me the end of the world and digesting Aunt Edna's fruitcake are …

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That Magical White Stuff

This year it's been a bit hard to get into that Christmas spirit and the holiday groove. One reason for me: No snow. Finally, this morning the kids and I anxiously opened up the curtains to find a winter wonderland. Reminded me of the moment Ralphie saw snow in the movie A Christmas Story. Pure …

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