Blogging

Bloggers Gone (Mildly) Wild

I’ve been lucky to have met several bloggers over the years. As lovely as all of them turned out to be, I admit that I had my doubts.

What if they’re really ax murderers?
What if they think I’m totally uncool?
What if I end up wearing a fake mustache, plaid earmuffs, and yellow yarn on my head in public?

Preparing to blow the hipster restaurant crowd away with our epic dorkiness.
Preparing to blow Portland away with our epic dorkiness.

Ayuh, that’s right. I met up with Jules from Go Jules Go AND Peg from
Peg-o-leg’s Ramblings! I know!! INSANE!! I was delirious from the pure excitement and adrenaline. Or maybe that was because I pounded down a Blueberry Ale in ten seconds.

The Three Amigos: Three Blondes Make Everything Right
Three Wrong Blondes Make Everything Right

The best part was we didn’t even really plan (much) for this to happen — it was like fate, destiny, or pure coincidence. Jules is from New Jersey and just happened to be up here in Maine for Labor Day weekend. Peg is from Illinois and she and her family just happened to be up here in Maine for Labor Day weekend. And it was my birthday! I’m 29 for the 18th time. What a gift it was to chill with some bloggy peeps!!!!! (extra exclamation points absolutely justified)

After bribing Peg’s visiting family with lobster rolls, they graciously allowed me to hobnob with WordPress celebs Peg and Jules (and her adorable dog) on the Portland waterfront.

boo

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Chillin’ with Uncle Jesse.

I tell you I have never been so giddy. Peg is exactly like you’d imagine from her blog times 100. She’s beautiful, bubbly, and hilarious. I’ve already met with Jules a few times, so it goes without saying she’s gorgeous, witty and totally rocks. The three of us had lunch, gabbed about stupid blog stuff, and played with vibrating lobsters

What? The restaurant handed them out to us so we’d know when our lunch was ready! Sheesh!

me-and-peg-and-the-lobster-vibrators
Hello, Portland Press Herald? Breaking news — Darla, a born-n-raised Mainah, actually hates lobster.

I’d love to end this post by bragging about how after lunch we jetted off to party on a rented lobster boat while we toured lighthouses and Stephen King’s estate, but that’ll have to wait until next year.

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Bonus footage: Jim Gaffigan tells you exactly why I don’t like “lobstah”

Have you ever met a blogger in real life? Did you get as nervous as I did? Did you also make a complete fool of yourself in public? (Not hard for me to do…) Do tell!

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Blogging

Bloggers Gone (Mainely) Wild

What happens when bloggers get together?

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Last week an amazing thing happened. I met two WordPress bloggers in person.

Yes, bloggers are actually human. They exist in an alternate reality I like to call “real life”. And online relationships can turn into genuine friendships. I know, crazy!

Jules from Go Jules Go and Rachel from Rachel’s Table decided to make the trek up to Maine. Not only to possibly catch a glimpse of Stephen King or enjoy the local cuisine — but to see me.

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My mind reeled as I imagined all the shenanigans we’d enjoy. Maybe we’d visit L.L. Bean’s at 2 am and try on flannel bomber hats while chugging maple lattes! Or we’d have a pajama party and stay up all hours of the night giggling about boys while braiding each other’s hair! (but if one of them even so much as dared hide my bra in the freezer I would go home immediately)

But first, they had to do the seemingly impossible — drive the six hours up 1-95
(aka The Big-ass Pothole Highway to Hell) to reach me.

Unfortunately, their epic adventure was filled with obstacles like horrible winter weather, a flat tire, and a late-night rescue via tow truck somewhere off 1-495 just north of Boston.

They were supposed to be in Maine Thursday night. I got a message from Jules late that night as I sat anxiously by the phone crafting their friendship bracelets. They were stuck on the side of the cold dark highway with a flat tire.

I thought they’d never arrive. Maybe they could hitchhike? Hop on a scooter?  Catch a free ride in the back of a UPS truck?

Fast forward to Friday night — a full 24 plus hours after they had left for Maine — still no blogger peeps. They were trapped in Massachusetts at a repair shop, the victims of endless paperwork and tire rims that had to be “special-ordered”.

I looked wistfully over at my punch bowl full of gin and ginger ale and wept. Why, universe? Why keep us kindred blogger spirits apart? It’s so not fair! Who will drink all this gin? And devour my 50 ft. long Subway with extra pickles?

EAT FRESH!
EAT FRESH!

Well, I would, of course — but it wouldn’t be half as fun without my friends. Maybe more like 10% less fun. I do love my gin and pickles.

But I never lost hope, they would get to this godforsaken frozen hell of a state eventually!

A new day dawned Saturday and they were finally safe and sound in Maine. I booked it to Freeport, giddy that our blogger meet-up was finally becoming reality.

It was so worth all the hassle.

Yay! We're finally together! (I might have already had a hangover in this pic)
Yay! We’re finally together! (I might have already had a hangover in this pic)

We managed to cram a lot of fun into those 24 hours we had together.

We ate food.

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Then we ate more food.

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We laughed while drinking and eating.

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It was pure magic.

Well, until Jules chose not to heed my warning to “never feed the bears” in the L.L. Bean parking lot. She learned her lesson the hard way.

Apparently Mama Bear is on a gluten-free diet.
Apparently Mama Bear is on a gluten-free diet.

Thanks Rache and Jules for everything.  I love you both.

Be sure to visit their extended version of our bloggy meet-up  here at Go Jules Go and here at Rachel’s Table.
(I’m hoping they don’t publish those photos of me drunk with a lamp shade on my head, weeping and belting out “I Will Survive” on karaoke night.)

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Have you ever met any bloggers in real life before? Any blogger meet-ups you’ve got planned for the future?

Uncategorized

I Think the Fox Says, “Never Eat Raisinitos”

Hey guys! Happy Halloween from Merida and Luigi!

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I’ve got a few quick questions for you. I’m trying to keep my pulse on the popular culture, so I can stay hip, down with the groove and all that jazz.

My son tells me I should start by not calling it ‘the popular culture’.
Whatevs, dude.

I need your help to clear some things up for me. I take it most of you young whippersnappers enjoy mindlessly clicking on things?

So c’mon! Let’s poll the night away, kids!

What does Kim Kardashian actually do all day long?

kim-kardashian

Is What Does The Fox Say? song straight from the gates of Hell?

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What does ‘twerking’ mean?

2013 MTV Video Music Awards - Celebrity Sightings

What should I hand out to the trick-or-treaters this Halloween?

halloween-candy-by-phanton-kitty

Okay, that’s enough. Thanks for your valuable input.

And in the spirit of Halloween, I invite you all to visit Go Jules Go right now to see a video she made of Mr. Maineiac and Lil’ Maineiac (my 11-year-old son) and other bloggers taste-test a ridiculous flavor combo of Doritos mixed with Raisinets.

Click here—-> EPIC POST ALERT. (They even tried it with Cool Ranch to add an extra amount of Blech.)

What is the oddest/most disgusting flavor combination of food you’ve tried and actually liked? Leave it in the comments so I’ll be sure to never try it.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Be sure to stay tuned for my Blogger of the Month interview tomorrow, Nicole of The Middlest Sister — it’s also pretty dang epic.

blogger of the month

Firsts and Lasts with Go Jules Go

Today I woke up and realized, holy guacamole, it’s May? But I still haven’t cleaned up all the confetti and empty gin bottles from New Year’s Day! Someone really ought to do something about this relentless passage of time because it’s getting to be a huge buzzkill.

But then I realized something else…

It’s Blogger of the Month time again!

So I can introduce you all to:

Jules from the beloved and most mustachiest blog:

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Go Jules Go

Her blog has chipmunks, Uncle Jesse, giveaways, dreams of polygamy and epic vlogs. She’s been Freshly Pressed numerous times and is a WordPress Featured Humor Blogger. Plus she’s warm, witty, and probably the sweetest blogger I’ve ever met (we’ve had many marathon phone convos, so you can trust me on that one).

So put on your mustache glasses, raise a glass of pink champagne and indulge in another juicy Firsts and Lasts Interview with Jules!

FIRST:

Don't you carve your dog playing Uno on a pumpkin for Halloween?
Didn’t you carve your dog playing Uno on a pumpkin for Halloween?

Blog Post: Have Mercy, a post about my Australian Labradoodle, Uncle Jesse, in whom I have a mild interest.

Kiss: Evan. I was 7, and we hid under a table in a YMCA playroom, while our moms Jazzercized their troubles away. We held our breath and pushed our mouths together for as long as we could stand to. His lips were like sandpaper.

Pretty sure Evan’s gay now. Surprisingly, I’m not.

Can you blame me?
Oh, Doogie. You make suspension of disbelief look so cute.

Love: Doogie Howser. I’ve always liked gay smart guys.

Psst: FINE. You can read about my real first love here.

Childhood Memory: I was 2, and at my grandparents’ house. I was left upstairs in a crib with pastel-colored bars. I was very upset and felt abadoned. Everyone else was downstairs.

Sure. Just leave me here. I'll be fine.
Sure. Leave me here. I’ll be just fine.

The only reason I remember something from that age is because I saw a picture of the crib years later, and the memory came flooding back.

I’ve done my best to wipe out my abandonment issues memory since then. Cheers!

Moment I met my significant other: Which one? Heh.

Behind every great blogger, there's a chili-head.
Behind every great blogger, there’s a chile-head.

I actually first laid eyes on Husband #1, Peppermeister, when I was 18, in an Intro to Radio class that I dropped shortly thereafter. A year and a half later, we worked together at a school for kids with autism – I recognized him right away.

It took another year and a half, and precisely 5 gin and tonics, for me to molest him make a move.

Possession I would take with me if my house were on fire: Anything Uncle Jesse asks for. Also Uncle Jesse.

In all seriousness, my first thought always goes to “photo albums.”

Time I was pulled over by a cop: Are you mocking me, Darla? [Editor’s note: Never.] You know I just got pulled over recently because my headlights were out…both…of them. The first time (out of 3 times, for those of you keeping score) was shortly after I got my license, and was sitting in a busy intersection, waiting to make a left turn. I had to wait until the light was nearly red before the oncoming traffic stopped and I could make my left – a common occurence, at least here in New Jersey.

My sister may look nice, but she's a real bitch.
My sister may look nice, but she’s a real bitch.

A cop -in an unmarked car and business suit, I might add- pulled me over for that! Bullcrap! I was in tears; didn’t get a ticket (1 ticket out of 3 times being pulled over, thankyouverymuch), but my sister saw me and mocked me mercilessly.

Job I had: Informally: Babysitting. My neighbors trusted me with 3 girls under the age of 5, including an infant, when I was 11. Because that’s how I roll.

You say "You dressed like Amelia Bedelia for a book signing" like it's a bad thing...
You say “You dressed like Amelia Bedelia for a book signing” like it’s a bad thing…

Formally: An indepedent bookstore, when I was 16. It was awesome. I got to open the store by myself and everything. Never got to read on the job, though, which is what everyone thought.

Thing I think God will say to me at the pearly gates: “Are you sure you wouldn’t feel more comfortable downstairs?”

LAST:

Blog Post: A Birthday Serenade.

Chyeah. I know.
Chyeah. I know.

Meal I cooked: Spicy turkey bacon meatloaf.

Movie I saw: Zero Dark Thirty. FINALLY. I guess it was okay. (I’m kidding. It was very good. Did they really waterboard that actor? They must have. I’m kind of obsessed with how actors get booked for torture scenes now.)

Song I listened to: “Too Close” by Alex Clare. Peppermeister and I recorded a cover for my blog, which is totally a piece of cake and not at all scary and I really recommend it. Maybe next I’ll try Whitney Houston or opera.

Reality TV show I watched: The Voice. Two words: Adam. Levine.

Yes.
Yes.

Time I cried: Yesterday. I realized I was 31. 

Time I laughed hysterically: Today. My friends know how to make some funny-ass memes.

Time I told a little white lie: This morning, to myself in the mirror: “No one’s going to be looking at you from the back.”

Time I did something really scary: April was riddled with scary things and the doing of said things. I was in the midst of an intense job interview process, working on the aforementioned song to post on my blog, flying to Texas (Texas!) for a wedding, and more (oh my!)!

Unbelievable things always happen at Bed, Bath & Beyond.
Unbelievable things happen to me at Bed, Bath & Beyond. Click for more evidence.

Time I swore like a sailor: Every time I talk to my girlfriends on Facebook. It’s like a f*cking disease.

Good deed I did: I let two nuns give me their coupons at Bed, Bath & Beyond the other day. It made them really happy. Amen.

Indulgence: RIGHT NOW, reading comments about how much you loved this interview.

Uncategorized · Video Blog

Happy Holidaze, Maineiac Style!

Many cold winter nights, I toss and turn, sleep as elusive as my dreams of ever having a family Christmas party where no one gets drunk, then fights over the Mayan calendar or who gets to take home Aunt Edna’s hard-as-a-hockey-puck fruitcake. (Something tells me the end of the world and digesting Aunt Edna’s fruitcake are closely linked.)

Still, as bleak as the holidays get, my heart is full of hope.  Hope that one day my block-of-ice feet might be warmed by the coolest thing ever created by sheer ingenuity and a steam iron:

The Go Jules Go and The Byronic Man custom-made queen-sized sheet sets!

That’s right. Two of our favorite bloggers are currently running the Holy Sheet Giveaway, where you can win the chance to drool all over their face/chipmunk’s face/pillowcase every night.

Check out their spectacular videos here and here. Really, go watch them, they make my vlogs look, well…stupid. (Don’t tell me that’s not that hard to do, I know that.)

After that, all you have to do is enter your version of a ‘real’ holiday card. Because nothing says peace on earth more than blatant bitterness.

C’mon, do it! It’s easy!

Even I did it! I crafted my own version of Christmas below. And I am far from tech-savvy. Once I thought I was surfin’ the net on my smart phone and it took a full five minutes before I realized I was holding our garage door opener.

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In other news, I’d like to leave you with a little more holiday cheer in the form of yet another vlog.

In vlogs past,  I’ve twirled a baton for you.

I’ve sipped coffee you.

And this time, I sing for you.

That’s right.

I know I’m no Mariah Carey. Or even  Jimmy Fallon. But just humor me, OK?

WARNING: mild profanity is sprinkled throughout (I get a wee bit bitchy this time of year, don’t know why)

Enjoy and catch ya later next year…..

…..if the Mayans are wrong! Haha! Oh, I kill me! It’s funny because it’s not gonna happen! So we can poke fun! Right? Right?! (fingers crossed!)