Church Chat

If there's one thing I dread discussing -- it's religion. All those pesky questions: Who created us? How did we get here? Why are we here? Where are my car keys? I just had them a second ago and -- oh. Someone put them in the fridge. Ahem. Anyway. So yes...lots of questions. If you …

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Sorry, God

Are you there God? It's me, jackass. I've been reading several books on near death experiences about people who've apparently died, only to come back to life so they can tell us what happens when you cross over. Most of the stories are similar: there's a long tunnel, a bright light, all-encompassing love,  indescribable peace...yadda, yadda, yadda... …

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My Doomsday Bucket List

Get ready! Today is End of the World Day (again)! I've already prepared a to-do list: Shampoo hair. Rinse. Repent. Repeat. Rent a limo and cruise through the streets of New York City eating a slice of hot pizza. Beg the Messiah to absolve me of all my sins. Binge-watch Outlander. Check the Second Coming …

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When God’s Your Facebook Friend

[It's early morning. I'm folding a mountain of laundry. A bolt of lightning cracks overhead and a blinding light fills the room. I drop my husband's underwear to the floor, shield my eyes and squint at the ceiling.] Me: What the...? God: [voice booms] IT IS I! Me: God? Is that You? God: [yells] YES! OF COURSE IT'S ME! [mutters] Didn't I …

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Deep Thoughts by Little Miss J

My daughter is six and a half years old and tends to be a wee bit dramatic at times. She's also much smarter than I'll ever be. The other morning she flew into my bedroom, eyes ablaze, and wailed, "Oh, Mommy! It's just not fair! I mean, seriously! Seriously!" She threw herself onto my bed. "Like, …

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Einstein and the Theory of Slurpees (Part 2)

THE BIG EVERYTHING After the man in white whisked me away from the Past Lives Viewing Theater (he never did tell me his name, so I decided to call him Mike), I noticed an odd sound. It was a buzzing of sorts, pulsing in waves. Buzzzzzz…..buzzzzz….buzzzzz…. Or maybe it was more of a whumm….whummmmm….whummmm…. I …

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