Hello there! How the hell are you? Just a friendly message letting you all know I can't write anymore. No, wait! Don't leave me! Come back! This is serious! I got nuthin'! My bloggy well ran dry. My bloggy liquor cabinet has been emptied. My bloggy fridge has nothing but a half-drunk bottle of PBR and my bloggy pantry is …
Welcome to the first installment of weekly no holds barred, profanity-laced, semi-comedic rants straight from the rambling mind of the Supreme Destroyer of Bullshit -- The Maineiac. Today's topic: Marriage I remember a few years ago when Al and Tipper Gore dropped the big bomb on us. Apparently, it was top news that after 40 years of wedded bliss -- after …
My husband and I are pulling the minivan out of our snowy, icy driveway on a cold winter's morning. I'm driving. Him: All right. Here we go. Gun it! Me: What? No. You're crazy. Him: Do it. Me: No. I'm not gonna gun it! Him: GUN IT! Me: NO IT WON'T WORK! NO! Him: If you don't we'll …
It's hard to pinpoint the exact moment I started to think sex was weird. Maybe it was when we had that first health class in fifth grade and the creepy teacher passed around a maxi pad, urging us to discuss the feelings we had about the opposite sex and our changing bodies. Maybe it was when my best friend …
Sometimes you might see them in a crowded restaurant. An older couple, married for decades, eating their meal in complete silence. Not a single word exchanged. The husband busy chewing his steak and gulping his beer; the wife busy clenching her jaw, sipping her wine and gazing wearily off to the side to meet your eyes with a …
My husband and I will celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary this April. Before we were married, we lived together in a tiny apartment for another two years. That's fourteen years of being 'up in each other's bidnezz' as they say on the streets. Quite a long time to spend being forced to share bathroom sink space and remote control possession. …
I was just a few months shy of my 28th birthday when I first laid eyes on my husband. I had just recently come to the conclusion that I was destined to live and die alone, surrounded by nothing more than my beloved cats and cherished Beatles CD collection. After yet another disastrous date the …
She's A Maineiac 