20 Things About the Maineiac

20 Things About Me That You Might Regret Knowing After You Read This: I am allergic to every group of antibiotics out there. My doctor tells me I am down to one rarely prescribed antibiotic that I can safely take, so if I contract pneumonia and you don't hear from me, it's probably because I'm …

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Hot Wheels are SO last year, Mom…

When I was around 8, I was obsessed with Barbie dolls. I had about ten in my collection, including a long-suffering Ken with the expertly coiffed ‘do and goofy flashy grin (who more often than not, ended up face-down in the toilet, thanks to a run-in with my brother’s GI Joes). I took those Barbie …

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Mr. Clean is on break

My eight year old son has suddenly realized the value of money. The heavens have parted and a tiny stream of light is shining down on my wallet. Why no, son! Legos don’t grow on trees! So now begins the endless quest to acquire more green; it’s a blessing and a curse. Now we have …

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Quick, Mom! Run and hide!

Moms, I’m going to be honest with you. There are some days when my dear, sweet, lovely children have driven me to the point of my head imploding.  When they have whined the 1,237th "Mommy!" and have managed to have about 35 mini-tragedies in nine minutes ("He took my Polly Pocket and tried to flush her …

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Moms Say the Darndest Things

Sometimes I talk too much. Okay, I talk too much most of the time. My husband can painfully attest to that fact. I had laryngitis last fall and could barely get out a whisper. I had never seen my husband so happy. And there are certain things a mom knows to never say if little kids …

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Yoga Love

Back when I didn’t know a thing about yoga, just the word itself would conjure up images in my mind. Mostly of New Age-y people wearing chakra jewelry and chanting Om while twisting themselves into pretzels. I was intrigued by yoga and knew it was an ancient practice that undoubtedly had some sound health benefits. …

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Resolutions for Slackers

One of my friends had a brilliant idea (go, Debra!) She said that this year, she was giving herself a fighting chance at New Year’s resolutions. She would set the bar much lower, making damn sure she couldn’t fail.  As a matter of fact, she had already succeeded at most of her goals. I immediately …

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The Best Christmas Ever

The holidays are upon us once again, arriving in my world at warp speed. Wasn’t Christmas just last week? And along with the endless barrage of Christmas commercials, so begins an acute and incurable state of “gimme-itis”. Whenever the kids see a commercial for the latest fad toy or electronic gadget and yell, “I want …

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This is How We Roll

As much as I try not to, I am constantly comparing my daughter to my son. Not in a negative or positive way, mind you. Just in a factual “Hmm…she is the complete opposite of her brother!” way. I often find it hard to believe they are related. Their different behaviors may be due to …

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The Long and the Short of It

Women seem to identify themselves by their hairstyle. Or, in my case, complete lack of style. I’ve had the same boring, long, brown, thick-as-a-rat’s-nest hair for my entire life. Well, aside from the late 70s, when my mom sent me out into the big bad world looking like a cross between Dorothy Hamill and Justin …

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