Baby you can’t drive my car

Here's a short list of the few things in life that scare the crap out of me: spiders flying politics my 15-year-old son taking Driver's Ed flying spiders Alas, the time has come. Next week, The Boy Who Can't Be Named Because He'd Die of Embarrassment, will be driving a 4000-pound car down the road. …

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The Final Curtain

  This is a true story that happened over 13 years ago.   "Say your goodbye," the emergency room doctor suggested, his eyes brimming with compassion. But the deep wrinkles etched across his brow revealed the weariness of all the pain and death they had witnessed behind the hastily drawn curtain. Say your goodbye. The …

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Oh, What a Year!

Well, ho ho ho and shut the front door! It's that time once again to look at my Saved By The Bell: "Slater Wears Tiny Tank Tops" desk calendar and say to my cat, "Hold up -- another year's gone in the blink of Screech's lazy eye? What the hell? Is this how time works? Yeah, …

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Oh, Mother!

  I think we all know mothers are strong, wise and beautiful women. The moms in my family were no exception. I bet you also realize moms have little time on their hands most days. Which is why I'm posting a short-n-sweet rerun about motherhood, so we can all kick back and savor our breakfast …

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And so it begins…

My son turned thirteen last month. Thirteen.  You know, the age their eyes roll back into their heads and molten lava starts shooting out from every orifice. So many, many things changed in an instant. The day after he became a teenager, he announced at breakfast, "Mom, I need to do some chores because I need some money. …

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Whole Lotta Fussin’ Goin’ On

Perhaps you've heard about the latest viral controversy that has gripped the entire nation. The curious incident of the fussy toddler versus the fussy restaurant owner versus the fussy parents of toddler. I'm not clear on the details but I take it one tantrum led to another and things escalated so fast people from Tanzania …

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Mom For Hire

The following post I wrote over three years ago and I'm reposting it because I have little time to write lately. In case you're wondering the snow in Maine finally melted so I'm spending every waking moment outside.  Plus I'm tired. So damn tired. Happy Mother's Day! OBJECTIVE            To prove that when you notice the huge 10 …

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Mishmash Monday

Hello there! How the hell are you? Just a friendly message letting you all know I can't write anymore. No, wait! Don't leave me! Come back! This is serious! I got nuthin'! My bloggy well ran dry. My bloggy liquor cabinet has been emptied. My bloggy fridge has nothing but a half-drunk bottle of PBR and my bloggy pantry is …

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Planting the Seeds of Change

"An eye for an eye is just wrong, Mom." My 12-year-old son was explaining his feelings on law and order from thousands of years ago. His homework was to determine if justice involved cutting off a person's hand if he were caught stealing food. "Why is it wrong? Wasn't he wrong to steal?" I asked …

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What the? Wednesday

There is nothing more entertaining than watching your kid attempt a magic trick. My 7-year-old daughter is obsessed with David Blaine. She repeatedly watches his video "Trapped Inside The Ice Cube of Death!" on YouTube.  She's convinced she'll be a magician someday. This morning she runs up to me and yells, "Hey Mom! I can do magic tricks! I'll …

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