White House in Crisis: Fresh Outta Crises

Last week, on a steamy morning deep in the bowels of our nation's capital, CNN reporters gathered in the press room prepared to hear the latest news from the White House. After patiently waiting for several hours, the reporters grew concerned. Not because they noticed anything amiss -- I mean, let's get real, these guys …

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Top Eleven Things I Hate About Being President

Hey, losers! It's me, the President of the United States. Yes, I am still here. No, I don't want to be here anymore. So please enjoy my top 11 Reasons Why Being Prez Sucks Bigly Time: 11) Thought it would be more like that movie where the bratty kid gets all the ice cream in …

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Mom for President 2020

    My 82-year-old mother is running for POTUS. She figured she'd kick off her campaign immediately because, as she put it, "I might die in my sleep tonight." Also, The View is on at 2 pm. I think she'll win in a landslide. After all, she came up with a pretty sweet slogan: Nagging …

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My exclusive interview with Trump

  Last week, I sat down with the Republican Party nominee at the local Starbucks. After knocking back a couple Frappuccinos and ten scones, I was ready to hammer him with the tough questions. Me: Mr. Trump -- may I call you Mr. Trump? Or do you prefer just Trump or The Donald or...? Trump: …

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A Special Message From Sarah Palin

  Yeehaw! It's time to quit pussyfootin' around, America! C'mon, all you ditch-diggin', hash-slingin', cow-tippin' proud apple pie rockin' mamas and papas! Click on this here link-dee-loo down below to find out what happens when Darla goes undercover at Trump headquarters! Hint: It ain't purty. And after you're done readin' -- LET'S KICK SOME ISIS …

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Maine politician makes stuff up. Stephen King gets pissed. What happens next will blow your mind.

As if the six month winter of Snowmageddon wasn't enough, now us Mainers have something else to bitch about. Our resident prolific bullshit artist, Governor Paul LePage, made national headlines last week by waging a battle of wits with our resident prolific horror writer, Stephen King. When I say wits I'm only talking about one man. You …

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