If there's one thing I dread discussing -- it's religion. All those pesky questions: Who created us? How did we get here? Why are we here? Where are my car keys? I just had them a second ago and -- oh. Someone put them in the fridge. Ahem. Anyway. So yes...lots of questions. If you …
Tag: rant
I am a smartphone addict and the world is going to hell.
Nomophobia -- the fear of being out of mobile phone contact. A drastic change happened in my life this past year. I ditched my trusty old flip phone from the dinosaur age -- the one I never texted on and barely used to even make phone calls -- for a damn smartphone. What the hell was I thinking? Now …
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I’m Angry Because I’m Not Angry Enough
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. Mark Twain ~~~~~~~~ In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. Buddha ~~~~~~~~ Anger dwells only in the …
Stand Up Saturday: Parenting
Welcome to another installment of no holds barred, profanity-laced, semi-comedic rants straight from my rambling mind. Today's Topic: Parenting Being a parent these days is such a drag. You try to stick to rules like no glue-sniffing, no shoving kids off the slide and for god's sake, how many damned boogers have you eaten today? As if this wasn't draining enough, …
An Open Letter to An Open Letter
Dear Open Letter, Well, lookatchoo! All open and shit. You're such a smug jackass. What do you want from me? Overly dramatic indignation? Cheap humor? And for what? So other people can read it? Why not keep my stupid thoughts inside my head where they belong? I'll give you credit, you are versatile. Hell, I …
Stand-Up Saturday: Pain
Welcome to another installment of weekly no holds barred, profanity-laced, semi-comedic rants straight from the rambling mind of the Supreme Destroyer of Bullshit — The Maineiac. Today's topic: Pain I've had lower back pain for years. And when I say back pain I really mean the feeling one gets when their lower vertebrae are constantly being set on fire …
Stand-Up Saturday: Marriage
Welcome to the first installment of weekly no holds barred, profanity-laced, semi-comedic rants straight from the rambling mind of the Supreme Destroyer of Bullshit -- The Maineiac. Today's topic: Marriage I remember a few years ago when Al and Tipper Gore dropped the big bomb on us. Apparently, it was top news that after 40 years of wedded bliss -- after …
Embrace Your Inner Bah Humbug
In all my childhood photos, I was always grinning at the camera like a fool. People thought of me as an extremely happy child. In report cards, teachers always said the same thing: Darla is such a quiet and shy child--but always smiling! I had a certain zest for life back then. Overall, I still …
Exasperation, Brain Freeze and Adam and Eve
The other night, as I was watching 60 Minutes (okay, okay, Jersey Shore) I reached into a can of nuts when my thoughts naturally wandered to the one and only, Andy Rooney. Today I decided to give the poor guy a rest and come up with my own list of annoyances about life’s more pressing …
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She's A Maineiac 