It’s the End of the World as I Know It (And I Feel Slightly Uneasy)

As some of you are well aware, there are certain undeniable signs the End Times are near: Oceans turn blood red. Locusts! It's raining locusts! Leggings are a thing now. Leggings! It's raining leggings! But recently I've witnessed another sign that it's time to make peace with my maker. My mom is on Facebook. Just …

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I’m So Sorry I Missed Your Call, Mom

My answering machine messages from my 79-year-old mother while I was gone for a few hours last weekend: [answering machine beep] Darla? Darla? Darla? Darla? (click) [beep] Darla! Darla! Darla! Darla! (click) [beep] Gah! Are you there? DARLA! I know you're there! Oh! God! There it is! Do you hear it? That beeping? It's the …

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