The New Adventures of Old Darla

Going back to college at my (ahem) advanced age has been quite the eye-opening experience. I've learned many valuable things, like the medical term bradycardia actually does not mean when one's heart rate goes up upon seeing Tom Brady's tight end. Also, never open your eyes during 'eye irrigation' practice when your smirking lab partner comes at …

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Turns out you can teach an old broad new phlebotomy tricks.

Welcome to my nightmare, kids. It's always the same thing every time: I'm sitting in a classroom full of students and everyone knows the material except me. The walls close in, my heart pounds and the flop sweats kick into maximum flopping mode. My professor bears an uncanny resemblance to Sam Kinison in the 1986 movie, Back to School, while …

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How Movies Teach Us

Let's face it -- the only time you ever learn anything worthwhile in life is when you're watching a movie. Here's just a sampling of lessons I've learned: Never fall asleep with your hand between two pillows. When floating in the frigid ocean, find a bigger door. If high school's social injustices are bringing you …

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How Going Back to School is Like Jumping Out of an Airplane

When you get to midlife, you start to realize a few things. Big things. For instance, how you've managed to bury insecurities so deep down, you didn't even know you had them. Like my doubts about doing well in school. Maybe it's due to the recurring nightmares I've had all my life, usually depicting some sort of general school-based …

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Top Eleven Things That Tick Off My College Professor

11) When I raise my hand to ask her to repeat the last thing she said. 10) When I raise my hand to ask her to repeat the thing she just repeated--only this time, louder. 9) When I raise my hand to tell her I have to go pee. 8) When I then pause to say, …

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