To Whom It May Concern: I write to you with the fervent hopethat my plight may soon be known.My ordeal began as soon as I plunkedmy ass on the porcelain throne. It seems mixing shots of tequilawith gravy-smothered pitawas clearly not the way to go. Hence, my ass exploded,the tidy bowl overloaded,and the septic tank …
Tag: Thanksgiving
Think You’re Thankful Enough? Take this quiz!
Hey, gang! It's time once again to overdose on gravy! Yes, Thanksgiving is almost here! And it's my turn over at The Nudge Wink Report. So slap on a feedbag and help me explore burning questions like: --What makes Aunt Ethel cry into her creamed corn? --Can turkeys fly? --What is tofurky really made of? …
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How I Survived the Thanksgiving Snowpocalypse
All was merry and bright last Wednesday evening in spite of the Nor'easter blowing into town. A giant ham was chillin' in the fridge, the kids were playing Mario Kart, and my husband and I were cozying up on the couch to watch yet another riveting episode of CHiPs. But before Ponch was able to rescue the …
Continue reading How I Survived the Thanksgiving Snowpocalypse
Jeezum Crow! It’s Christmas Again?
As some of you loyal readers know, my mother is quite the expert when it comes to sparkling conversation. She turns 80 years old this January and let me tell you, she's more than earned her right to speak bluntly about every topic under the sun. Hell, if I were her age, you'd better believe I wouldn't give a rat's …
The Year of Our Miracle
It was seven years ago when one little pill was the reason my daughter lived. Previously, I had suffered several miscarriages. My doctor suspected a blood disorder and ran a million tests. One morning, his nurse called to inform me that I had a blood clotting disorder and wasn't able to absorb any folic acid. And …
Don’t be a Grinch this Thanksgiving!
Recently, employees of Walmart, Sears and Target were outraged when their companies decided to open stores to the public as early as 8 pm on Thanksgiving Day. Apparently, being with family and friends for some quality time and gravy-soaked turkey is now trumped by a shopper's right to buy the blue light special of a camouflage …
Confessions of a Bad Cook
When I was a child, the kitchen was always a mysterious place. My mother would tie her “Kiss Me, I’m Irish!” apron on and disappear in there, banging around the pea green and pale yellow cupboards for hours. Eventually she’d emerge, and huge platters of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans would magically appear. I’d only …
She's A Maineiac 