Referee Schmeferee

People seem to be a tad upset about the recent NFL replacement referee debacles that unfolded over the past week. Apparently, there is big money at stake. So when things go wrong, people get mad if strange things happen—-teams are winning that should have no business winning, Bill Belichick is getting too touchy-feely with the guy from Foot Locker. It’s all a big mess.

I’m certainly no expert on NFL rules and regulations, but I can safely say I think the main mistake here was assuming the term ‘job’ didn’t mean silly things like having skills or experience or knowing what the hell you’re doing at any given time. Maybe the NFL should have screened these replacement referees a little more. While watching the game yesterday, I could have sworn one of the officials was my old junior high school gym teacher, Mr. Cormier.

It’s kind of like being wheeled into the operating room to find the nurses have all been temporarily replaced by the Blue Man Group. Someone is gonna get hurt.

Have no fear. I can help you, NFL.

I can be a referee.

I’ve got experience.

So you can clearly see I am more than qualified for this position. Thank you for your consideration. And may the best or worst team win! Yeah!!! GO PATS!!!

83 thoughts on “Referee Schmeferee

  1. This is SO FUNNY! I watched the end of the Packer game last night and the Seahawks won with a touchdown, but it should have been ruled an interception by the Packers. The worst call ever. I even tweeted my frustration!
    This should be Freshly Pressed Darla!

  2. Ha ha ha Oh my kindred spirit, you have clearly embraced the photo-editing-over-studying mentality that I know so well. 😉

    I tease, I tease, but I never want you to stop. This is hilarious! “The shiny bolts of electricity team” is going to have me laughing all day – thank you!

    P.S. – Can you please write my next post for me?

    1. I think making this post today was much more important than my educational future. And I JUST told you yesterday I have zero post ideas, didn’t I? and then I was on the elliptical today at 7 am and bam–stupid post idea! yeah!

      The ‘shiny bolts of electricity’ was not an act, I really couldn’t remember what team that was…

  3. Haha! Oh this is awesome!! Honestly you might do a better job with the calls plus you’d be WAY more fun than the replacement refs, or even the regular ones for that matter. 🙂

  4. ha haha ha! I never knew you had such mad football skills to go with your total mastery of the paint program. I noticed in one picture your hair is noticeably redder than in others …a little Miss Clairol going on here, Darlinkidinkidoo?

    1. Ha! Only you, the Queen of Paint would notice. So I wanted to try out a new shade to impress Tom Brady. Can ya blame me? It’s Chili Powder #24

      also…I must have hit the wrong button on the paintinator hoozeethingy when I painted it….

  5. I heartily support your campaign for replacement judge. In all games except any Pats v. Ravens games. I think you might be a tad bit biased (see Exhibit A above, namely “GO PATS”). But I am all for a Reese’s break and admiration of the gorgeousness of the QBs. Let’s make this happen.

  6. Hey Darla, I think you’ve missed your true calling! Can’t wait to see you out there on the field — you’ll be great. Seriously though, you made me laugh with the “shiny thunderbolts and horsey” team names! And yeah — Go Pats!

      1. I have wised up and now realize those moments do not exist. 🙂 But yes, I’m going to stick around and blog awhile. Cram it in between helping my kids in the potty (does that ever end?) and doing the dishes. On second hand, the dishes can wait.

      2. The potty thing certainly FEELS like it’s never going to end. But it does. Glory does!! The finest day of my life was the day I didn’t have to change another diaper. This was just last year when I stopped babysitting an infant for a friend. I’ve been changing diapers for over 10 years straight now. Gah!!

  7. Good stuff!! Not sure about that first photo though, you need to be careful with that Line Judge, the guy with the L on his back. His head is awfully close to your chest, in fact it appears that your hair is even hanging over the back of his hat. That’s all we need is more bad calls because the male referees are making moves on the female referee.

  8. Ya know, if more of the refs looked like you, I might actually start watching football again! 😉
    And I realise that the bad call REALLY hurt the Green Bay Packers, and that ALL football fans should band together and support them in light of the horrific travesty that the rent-a-ref committed. So, from the bottom of my Chicago heart, I reach across the state line to the boys from Green Bay and say ……
    “Neener neener nee-ner! LOOOOOOO-SERS!”.
    (Click) I’m sorry, the blogger you are trying to reach has left the country, and will shortly be leaving the planet. Please leave your name, number, and obscene message after the tone. BEEP! 😀

    1. haha! Yeah, I’m not sure, but I think I read the Packers were playing horribly before this bad call went down anyway…so maybe they deserved to lose after all. (My dad used to be a huge Packers fan and I liked Brett Favre once upon a time…)

      1. I forgot to mention that I am also a BIG football fan. Started when I went to college in the UP – everyone up there follows the Green Bay Packers so that’s the first team I really followed. Next, I lived in Chicago so I was a big Bears fan. Now that I’ve been back in MI for some years, a group of us get together for the Lions games – eat, drink and be merry as we cheer for their hopeful win. They were also screwed last Sunday with the fake refs. You’d rock the football world if they employed you!

    1. what–? Noooo!!

      Once upon a time, before kids and husband, I used to watch every single game. Three on Sunday, one on Monday night. I knew every team, every player, every coach. I played in my dad’s football pool at work and would win every week. But now? yeah, I don’t watch it at all anymore. Eh.

      1. Go Wings!!

        I loved this, DJ. Clearly you are destined for greatness as a referee. My husband told me today that one of the replacement refs had been fired from the “Lingerie League”. How badly must one suck to be fired from a league where women play football in their underwear? And who actually watches the ball? I mean, come on…….

        1. Well, that would probably be less of a show than you might think. In “Seinfeld” terms, the word is “shrinkage” After all, it’s COLD out on that ice! (And I’m not taking into account the burly guys on the other team swinging hockey sticks! YEE-OUCH! 😯 )

  9. Oh good Lord, I loved this! You are really producing some of your best work these days, DarDar — what the hell are you smoking over on the college campus these days? And (psssst) where’d you get it?

    I laughed out loud. OUT LOUD. Me. I did. At the “shiny bolts of electricity team…” and the “Weeee!” parts.

    You complete me.

    1. Now I’m wondering exactly what kind of mushrooms were on that pizza out there in the dorm lounge…

      And knowing you actually laughed out loud? I can die happy now. Getting the Angie stamp of approval is as good as FP. Better even.

  10. Snoring Dog Studio

    I hate football, but I’ll always read a blog post about it if you write it, Darla. You are absolutely the cutest thing – seriously – And these photos cheered me up immensely! Love the bubble text!

  11. I’ve just never gotten in to watching football. Maybe it’s living in a state with no pro team, or living in a state with such a ridiculously over-the-top college rivalry that I can’t help but not want to get involved… But if you were a ref that might help me turn the corner.

    1. Oh yeah, that’s right, you guys have..what…the Seahawks? God, I’m so so sorry. Oregon really needs to finally get their own team. The Oregon Geoducks? The Portland Banana Slugs? (I remember those in my Evergreen days….)

  12. So…are you changing majors to becoming a football ref instead? I’m sensing the studying won’t be as challenging, and your skills a mad mama jama will certainly come in handy (“I can’t hear you, la la la la la…..”).

    I’m thankful that I no longer have time in my life to follow NFL football. That would have been maddening if I was.

    1. Ooh, how I love the phrase ‘mad mama jama’ I might have to use that as my new blog tagline. And it is amazing how many skills I can bring to being a ref since I am a mom–especially the ability to ignore crying, tantrummy-whining men. Nothing can crack me.

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